Re: Conversation At The Dentist

Gorgf · ‎03-10-2010

@deepwaterdotter. Thankyou for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the thoughts. It has taken some time to get there.

hippiechick7897 · ‎12-28-2017

I don’t think the issue is her age I think it’s the setting.

Expecting a deep understanding from someone who is working in an office, setting a positive tone, getting people in and out and keeping it cordial…I’d bet she felt it and it was an awkward conversation for her.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Actually, not all holidays are a big deal to every one of us. Some celebrate Christmas, some don't. Some celebrate 4th of July and to some it is just another day.

So in reality, it is our expectations, not the day iteself that get us in trouble. We have given up on Halloween. . . and we use to look so forward to it. But times and circumstances changed--and it is what it is.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@ECBG wrote:
I can tell you now, having known and taught young people, she can't imagine what you are going through.
Could you feel like what it was to be a parent when you were 12 years old? That's a far leap. She has probably lost relatives, but didn't have the maturity to be fully mentally involved.

@ECBG Some kids don't get to be kids. Some kids are parents to their parents at 12. Or parents to themselves. And I think that is so very sad.

I hear about young minds not being as developed so they can't do this or that, and I just don't buy it. I have seen too many kids who have to be adults to live and are very capable. I think many people just have to do what they need to do and what is asked of them--at about any age.

tarsmom · ‎03-21-2010

@Sooner wrote:
Other than my husband, my family is all gone. But I am thankful that I had them, appreciate and treasure those times, but don't think so much about it that it gets me down. Why would I? Life goes on. Live it or miss out!

There are still things to enjoy and do, and. it is different, but I'm still here and I'm going to make the most of every minute I can, especially as long as hubby and I are together! But we have assured one another that someday life will go on single--and we've promised to do the best we can even then.

I can't predict the future, I can't live in the past, but today is a blessing to be savored.

@Sooner

You have a great attitude. I wish I could make myself feel that way. I am grateful for so many things, but when the holidays come around, I miss my parents and siblings terribly. I do have my husband, but our only child lives out of state and it's not easy to get together. Life does have seasons, and we need to appreciate each one and realize things DO CHANGE. I think the hardest part is hearing other talking about their plans, their family gatherings, their grandchildren, etc. etc. You really do underestimate what life will look like as we move along in it

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

I guess we should be glad she didn't get how you felt. It means she is still young, still has lots of family and lots to look forward to in her life. Hopefully it means life hasn't been too full of loss for her yet.

I've spent a lot of time lately, wondering what kind of 20 something person I really was. My son is 25 and DIL is 21. I watch them, and notice so many things about them and reflect about how I must have been at that age, and how older people might have taken my comments and looked at me. I suspect I was not nearly as perfect as I remember myself being at that age. I now know that while I was more mature for my age than many of my peers, I must have seemed rather lacking in many areas to the seniors in my life back then. I'm so glad they just loved and supported me anyway, and if they had unfulfilled expectations, they practiced the patience to let me grow into the person I am now.

@Jordan2 I do get how you feel. I still have family but so many are gone, and I miss them terribly all year long, but the holidays seem to increase the loss. I'm doing my best to move on, and try to establish new traditions, embrace who is left, and seek out new people to spend time with and do for, but nothing will ever 'be the same' as back in the day. I guess life is like that. I'm quickly becoming the 'oldest' generation of the family, and it certainly does look different from this side of the fence. I do wonder if many years from now, the next 'oldest' generation of my family will be missing us like we miss those that have gone on before us.

I hope you find some joy and peace in the season, and know you aren't alone in your feelings.