Congratulations Jessa and Ben! - Page 29

GrettaGarbled · ‎09-25-2014

On 11/10/2014 lulu2 said:
On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
If this family were Muslim, those who defend them would be apoplectic that the girls have curtailed freedoms (like in Iran)- they don't go out on their own, they have strict rules of dress and decorum, their dates are chaperoned and Daddy makes the final decision in all things, including whom the girls marry.

I do think Mr. Duggar gets a pass on his control over his family, (the females in particular) because he is Christian. If he were a Muslim, his control would be slammed here every way possible.

Exactly.

dmod nj · ‎10-04-2011

On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
On 11/10/2014 lulu2 said:
On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
If this family were Muslim, those who defend them would be apoplectic that the girls have curtailed freedoms (like in Iran)- they don't go out on their own, they have strict rules of dress and decorum, their dates are chaperoned and Daddy makes the final decision in all things, including whom the girls marry.

I do think Mr. Duggar gets a pass on his control over his family, (the females in particular) because he is Christian. If he were a Muslim, his control would be slammed here every way possible.

Exactly.

So very true.

You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl. Jersey Girl living in CNY.

GrettaGarbled · ‎09-25-2014

Just wanted to say that I don't watch this family on tv, I have nothing against them and how they raise their kids and I have no problems with the number of kids they have (I'm pro-choice).

Just funny to see how some fawn all over them because the girls are virginal (or so they claim) and Daddy calls the shots.

Surfnturf · ‎03-09-2010

Sometimes, we experience an uneasiness about a subject in our guts before being able to pinpoint exactly what it is that is eating at us, and why. Thank you, GrettaGarbled and lulu2 for bringing into focus what it is about this family that bugs me. I have ADD, and sometimes it's difficult for me to harness my thoughts.

Catitude · ‎01-09-2014

On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
Just wanted to say that I don't watch this family on tv, I have nothing against them and how they raise their kids and I have no problems with the number of kids they have (I'm pro-choice).

Just funny to see how some fawn all over them because the girls are virginal (or so they claim) and Daddy calls the shots.

I don't think they are fawning over them, but I could be wrong because I don't watch the show. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they all appear to be happy, thriving, fresh faced, clean cut, loving and wholesome which is a refreshing change from broken families, druggies, honey-boo-boo types.

Lion · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/10/2014 lulu2 said:
On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
If this family were Muslim, those who defend them would be apoplectic that the girls have curtailed freedoms (like in Iran)- they don't go out on their own, they have strict rules of dress and decorum, their dates are chaperoned and Daddy makes the final decision in all things, including whom the girls marry.

I do think Mr. Duggar gets a pass on his control over his family, (the females in particular) because he is Christian. If he were a Muslim, his control would be slammed here every way possible.

I agree, also.

I've been thinking the exact same thing for a long time.

**********
"The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself."
- Augustine

Be Vigilent

Surfnturf · ‎03-09-2010

In thinking about it further, the rigidity bothers me, too. And that reflects directly on me, the way I think, and the type of people I best relate to. YMMV

dmod nj · ‎10-04-2011

On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
On 11/10/2014 wookie said:
In thinking about it further, the rigidity bothers me, too. And that reflects directly on me, the way I think, and the type of people I best relate to. YMMV

They practice their own version of sharia law. Rigidity is a must when you live out an ideology. Otherwise, you could be easily convinced that what you believe may not be the real truth.

I'm fascinated by the tight grip they have on their kids. Do they not feel their brainwashing worked? Do they feel, if they let go of the noose just a bit, their kids will go "wild" and reject what they've been taught? Maybe they don't have confidence in their kids? It looks, to me, they don't trust their kids. They don't trust them to make the "right" decision if left alone........... to actually think something through, using all they've been taught........to help make that good decision.

There is temptation everywhere. Shouldn't the kids have the opportunity to show their parents, without micromanaging their world, how well they've been raised? How well their parents' values and lessons will be lived when they are on their own?

They don't seem to think for themselves.

Of course, every age appropriate decision, along the way, is a building block for bigger decisions as they get older.

Maybe their fear of one of the kids making a mistake is so overwhelming to them? Humans make mistakes. You can't raise perfect kids. Well, I did............but that is another story, for another thread. Wink ${#emotions_dlg.laugh}$

jmo, of course.

You can take the girl out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl. Jersey Girl living in CNY.

GrettaGarbled · ‎09-25-2014

I think with 19 kids, the odds of one going "astray" are pretty good, whether they're watched over or not.

loverly · ‎12-12-2011

On 11/10/2014 dmod nj said:
On 11/10/2014 GrettaGarbled said:
On 11/10/2014 wookie said:
In thinking about it further, the rigidity bothers me, too. And that reflects directly on me, the way I think, and the type of people I best relate to. YMMV

They practice their own version of sharia law. Rigidity is a must when you live out an ideology. Otherwise, you could be easily convinced that what you believe may not be the real truth.

I'm fascinated by the tight grip they have on their kids. Do they not feel their brainwashing worked? Do they feel, if they let go of the noose just a bit, their kids will go "wild" and reject what they've been taught? Maybe they don't have confidence in their kids? It looks, to me, they don't trust their kids. They don't trust them to make the "right" decision if left alone........... to actually think something through, using all they've been taught........to help make that good decision.

There is temptation everywhere. Shouldn't the kids have the opportunity to show their parents, without micromanaging their world, how well they've been raised? How well their parents' values and lessons will be lived when they are on their own?

They don't seem to think for themselves.

Of course, every age appropriate decision, along the way, is a building block for bigger decisions as they get older.

Maybe their fear of one of the kids making a mistake is so overwhelming to them? Humans make mistakes. You can't raise perfect kids. Well, I did............but that is another story, for another thread. ${#emotions_dlg.laugh}$

jmo, of course.

They definitely have not raised them to be able to function well in the real world, which is why they keep such a tight grip on them. They've only raised them to be substitute parents while Jim Bob and Michelle make more. When the girls become old enough, Jim starts looking for suitable mates for them. And since they don't know how to date, Jim B. and Michelle always have to be a part of every phone call, text, Skype, date, etc. that the girls make/receive. The know they have stifled those kids by using"wholesomeness" as their guise, but that was their intent. It's shameful, really.