Company - Staying Over - Page 2

BostonMommy · ‎08-11-2010

When we had a bigger house we used to have house guests. I enjoyed having them as long as they pitched in and cleaned up after themselves. Some did help, some left my house a mess. and me worn out entertaining them.

I had 2 sets of sheets one set was top quality and another set was not ..... just saying if you don't want them staying too long put the stiffer less quality sheets and bedding on the guest bed.

Since then we moved to a smaller home in a different state. Chose to make the extra bedrooms into our hobby rooms with NO guest bed. There are several hotels around here that company can stay

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

The only time we had someone stay for more than 1 night was DH's friend who was with us for 3 nights. He and husband went off during the day and DH did the cooking at night or we went to restaurants. Another time a friend and her husband asked if they could stay with us for a few nights and I told her we really didnt have the room for 2. I like my privacy too much to share with anyone for more than a night.

So basically I would suggest staying at a hotel even if it meant my contributing to the cost of it.

And unlike my DH, I hate staying at other people's homes. Give me a hotel any day!!!

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Oh my gosh, you're so nice to put up with that. I only read the beginning, but I came away with, Elearnor Roosevelt's saying of: No one can take an advantage of you, without your permission. (I'm older now, and laying it on the line, so appeals to me.) Helping out of a rough time is fine, but I reserve the right to tell you NO. It's personal choice on to do or not.

skatting44 · ‎07-26-2019

One good reason to never offer an " open invitation to visit whenever ".

If you feel you are not deriving any benefit from his visiting such as him offering to mow your yard or help around the house than I'd just tell him that you're no longer into having visitors in your home .

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

I don't like it, and I don't appreciate family assuming that it is automatically "OK" somehow because we are related.

I've come to expect, respect for my wishes. That's all. I've had the unannounced drop-ins and that does not work for me. As painful as it was, I have made that clear and an understanding has been reached. Feathers got ruffled, but that has smoothed over.

"Bbbut she's your sister!" Yes. Especially as such, empathy, understanding, love, and respect is not too much to ask, IMO. Let's make other accommodations and then enjoy the time we choose to spend together.

I value my own time far too much to be uncomfortable when it is not necessary, especially with some planning and forethought.

Cogito ergo sum

Pook · ‎03-20-2010

Never want anyone staying and never want to stay at anyone's home. I would be very uncomfortable in both situations. I value my privacy and my home is my refuge from others. I also feel the same way about even a few hour visit. Anyone who allows this deserves the inconvenience and I have no sympathy!

Mary Bailey · ‎03-09-2010

For us, if someone needed to stay with us because their furnace went out - something like that - for a day or two. Okay

But for vacation, if they can afford a vacation, then they can afford a hotel room. No way.

tends2dogs · ‎05-08-2010

@jellyBEAN wrote:
How does everyone feel about having company staying over at their home for several days? I look forward to company, but I also look forward to them leaving so I can get back to my normal routine.

I have a family member who comes and visits quite often. He's gone thru a rough patch and came down to stay with me for several days. His habits and interests are the opposite of mine. He doesn't say much, expects meals, goes to bed at 8pm and is up at 4am roaming around the house. I don't know, I love my family member but its a lot of work for me. I also know we won't be around that much longer so I try and go with the flow.

How does everyone else feel? We were never close growing up, so he's not someone I'm extremely close to even if he is family. Always seems my house is a wreck in some way when he leaves and I spend the entire day fixing things and washing things and cleaning things and straightening up. I'm guessing this is a normal way for some people to feel when they are used to being by themselves.

I live in sort of a vacation spot area and thats why he decides to come here often. I don't think its for my company, I think its just because he's bored.

Reread your post, @jellyBEAN . I think you know what you should and want to do. You said that you are both getting up there in age. Tell your family member that it is getting to be too much for you to host a guest in your home. Give him a list of motel/hotels in the area. Have him over for a dinner or two or even better, meet him at a restaurant. I personally would not like someone wondering around my house at 4 in the morning. It is extremely intrusive.

Telling him this is not mean or inconsiderate. He is the one acting that way. He will continue to do it as long as you allow it. I personally hate to have houseguests (except our daughter or my sister) and I hate being one. We always stay at a motel. I like privacy too much.

Now go and do what you know you should do. He sounds like he has a tough hide. He can take it.

Fear not Brothers and Sisters! I have read THE BOOK..........we win!!!

freakygirl · ‎07-03-2014

i hate imposing on anyone, family included. when i visit, i stay in a hotel and expect (and hope!), visitors will do likewise when visiting me. i like my own space, and i think it keeps the peace.

its your house. make the rules and enforce them.

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

I have different sets of guests staying over at least a few times a year. I'm usually itching for them to leave after three or four days. I have mixed feelings about their stay. I enjoy spending time with them but it can be expensive and exhausting. Insuring I have enough clean towels, changing the sheets, cooking, clean up and food shopping, and coming up with activities can be a bit much. Then the clean up and laundry when they leave. Those that come with kids can be especially daunting. I try to cook ahead if possible. Breakfasts are the worse. After a few nights I generally order take out. My vegetarian guests can make things even more difficult. None of my guests ever leaving a mess and make the beds when they leave. So while I have mixed feelings, life is short and I make the most of it and embrace the company of my guests.