Community Chat

[JJsMom]

Yeah, it's really rude to comment on someone's looks, especially unsolicited from a stranger. I wouldn't let it bother me too much. I would just ignore her and laugh it off mentally.

[RazorSharp]

I hate when people say that kind of thing to me.  I've actually had a coworker come up to me in the middle of the work day to tell me that I look "so tired" when I've had a great night's sleep and feel wonderful.  My boss recently told me that a relatively new employee of ours told him, "It looks like you've lost weight."  Both he and I thought that was a pretty unacceptable comment, too.  You don't say stuff like that to your overweight boss, who you've known for a month. 

In reference to @Plaid Pants2 situation, I think that if you see someone who you feel might be sick or tired, why would you say something negative to them?  Wouldn't it be better to say something that might make them feel better rather than worse?  I always try  to lift people up who look like they're down.  

[qualitygal]

I have to tell you this, the one place I was able to find that sold the adult diapers I had to use for my father, (someone here would talk the store down, but it helped me out in a horrible time), and two people in line at the register, saw what I was buying. They didn't know who it was for and assumed it was for me. They made a helpful, caring comment each and I didn't take any offense or offer any explanation. It was just something that occurred. I think it used to be called the milk of human kindness. Kindness expressed towards others. It didn't hurt one bit.

[QueenDanceALot]

The only time I would say that to a stranger (or anything akin to that) would be if they looked as if they needed help or medical assistance.

[Noel7]

There are a lot of socially awkward people out there.  For different reasons, they don't really understand what is acceptable to say and what isn't.  Most aren't trying to be rude, although there are others who will blurt out rude things and mean it, it's pretty easy to tell the difference.

You can't let that stuff get to you, we don't even know them.  Usually I give very slight smile and move on.

[fortune]

---

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Yesterday, I went to Costco, to pick up my dad's prescriptions.

While I was waiting for the script to be filled, a woman, a total stranger, said to me as she walked by, "Oh, poor dear! You look so sick!"

I just smiled and said, "No, I'm just tired", and honestly, I was tired.

I can't fathom saying to a perfect stranger, "Oh, my! You look so sick!"

Would you say that to a total stranger?

I wouldn't.

In fact, I think it was kinda rude of her to say that.

I think what I should have said instead was, "You're right. I am sick. In fact, I have a highly contagious disease.". *lol*

Do you think what she said was rude?

Thoughts?

---

You could have said, "It's really odd that you would care about my health when I don't give a d--n about yours!"

[Moonchilde]

Perfect description, @Noel7 - socially awkward. People who mean well but express themselves badly. And as you say, it's usually pretty easy to tell the difference between that and something else.

LOL - the times my boss would tell me I "looked tired" were often the days where in actuality I was pithed off because someone called in sick or someone else was goofing off and I was run ragged and annoyed. Other days when I was sick as a dog and felt like carp no one ever said a word. So much for the powers of observation!

[Noel7]

This is a pretty good profile:

Six Signs That Someone Is Socially Awkward

1. Feeling nervous in social settings.

2. Not understanding social norms.  (IMO this is the big one)

3. Often having a different impact than intended.  (And this)

4. The lack of conversation flow.

5. Frequently being avoided or ridiculed by others.

6. The lack of meaningful connections with others.

Details and additional information here:

http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/socially-awkward/

[Moonchilde]

Not that every socially awkward person has Asperger's, but those points are classic Asperger's as well, assuming the person ticks all or nearly all of the boxes and not just a couple.

Even though Jim Parsons says the writers told him that Sheldon Cooper does not have Asperger's (probably because they didn't want some huge outcry from Asperger's associations), in actuality he is a poster boy for Asperger's as written and performed. Classic.

[QueenDanceALot]

I didn't get the impression that Plaid Pants was really bothered by it, just curious what others thought about someone who would do that.

Lots of possibilities......