Ok....I'm home. Long day, but productive.
First, I am overwhelmed by the posts on this thread. So kind to me and so wonderful that you shared YOUR experiences with me. I've read every single post and I sincerely appreciate all the responses.
it went well today. He was quiet when we first got there and walked through the rooms. When he saw that the large storage closet in the hall had only my mom's China in it (everything else has been cleaned out) he laughed and said "that's a miracle".
My sister got there. She just had foot surgery. I sat them both down and remember that show Clean Sweep? And there was another one. Peter Walsh was on one of them. He'd hand an item to the homeowner and they had to make a decision in 5 seconds- keep, donate, trash. So that's what we did. We started with books and then moved to his personal items from his dresser and desk. A few times he'd stop when my sister would put an item in a pile and say "now what is that pile again"?
Then in we moved on to his dresser. A little slower there. He must have 3 trillion t shirts (with sayings on them). Well, he would only get rid of two. Two. So I brought the others home with me so I can wash them all and keep them at my house till summer. Same thing with socks. He has three trillion pairs already at assisted living and now he has another three trillion pairs. No talking him out of them.
Then in to their walk in closet. Big sigh here. He was reluctant to get rid of things. We really slowed down here, as I knew we would. Specifically two suitcases. Really old, very dusty, not in good shape. We finally put them in the donate pile. By this time, the 5 second decision rule was gone. He also got stuck on his tennis rackets (3). He's almost 87 and is recovering from a stroke. He stopped playing tennis 5 years ago. But he wanted to keep those rackets. We kept saying "but where are you going to put them? And do you really think you're going to play tennis again? So those finally went in the donate pile. He also go stuck on three briefcases. We got him down to two.
I loaded my car and then we took him to Waffle House for lunch, his favorite place. Then my sister went home and we went back to assisted living and my husband met us there. We unloaded everything and I put it all away.
Then my husband and I went back to the condo and moved fast, fast, fast. Took the bags of trash down and put them in my car so we could take them to the dumpster. Loaded the donation things in bags and then put them in the car and got them to the donation center just before they closed. Squeal of tires as I left those bags behind and pulled out of the parking lot, LOL.
I brought some of the hanging clothes home so I could wash them and hold them till summer. He kept all 5 jackets and coats that were in the closet to go with the 7 he already has. I need to get some more huggable hangers so I'll get the coats on Monday.
When we took the second load to assisted living, he was sound asleep and never woke up the entire time my husband and I were unpacking things and putting them away! He was worn out.
Needless to say, his assisted living room is packed. But he's surrounded by his favorite things and that makes me happy. I have all the important papers, bank stuff, etc at my house. I moved all that the day he was hospitalized.
It went well. My sister and I were very honest with him and told him that doing our mom's things was pretty easy because she wasn't there. And that we were sad doing all this with him participating.
Oh, one last thing. When we were doing the closet, you could tell he was getting tired. A few times he said "we don't have to take all this today do we"? I kept saying yes, it all has to be decisioned today. We're getting closer to putting it on the market. We have to get this done. He seemed to lose a little bit of the sense of urgency. But we got it done and we all said at lunch that we were glad we finished it.
Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
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