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One of the nail salons I go to doesn't allow any children at all unless they are 6 years old and getting their nails done.  The other will let kids sit in the waiting area if they are quiet but babies are not allowed.  I've seen women come in with tiny babies and the owner goes right up to the woman yells at her to take the baby out of here.  She's a tiny little woman, Cambodian but fierce...lol   She's so right when she says that there are too many chemicals in the shop for babies.  

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@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:

@NycVixen wrote:

I understand the concern. There are a lot of chemicals being used. Not a good idea. But there's not much you can do.

 

My mom was a heavy smoker when I was little and those were her Malboro years. I don't know if someone ever told her anything, but knowing her she would most likely say it was her house, mind your business. So far, I'm OK (fingers crossed). She wasn't affectionate, but the house was clean, food was on the table and a roof over my head. That was her definition of being a good mother. I don't agree but according to her that's my opinion.

 

Parents cannot be expected to do everything with 100% thinking if it's good for their children. It's just not realistic. It's sad but true. Unfortunately, some things have to give. I don't smoke and it's due to seeing how horrible it is firsthand. So in that vein, she did me a favor. I definitely won't be taking my children to a nail salon but I have to accept that not doing so won't be a priority for others. Let's just hope taking the little ones to a salon is the only area where these mothers drop the ball. 


That was the definition of a mother at the time and what was expected of them and they were expected to raise strong children, not fragile children.  She smoked as did most women of her day.  Don't hold grudges.  You will wear yourself down.  Appreciate your mother for what she did because it was what she knew.


@Nonametoday I understand your point. It makes sense to some degree the idea to not coddle your children. However, I'm a young woman. Things were different by then. 

 

I appreciate her for raising me and I'm thankful. The irony is that she believes she deserves all this love and devotion for some reason when she continues to be a harsh and critical person. She says the most hurtful things and always says I can't accomplish this or I'm not good enough for that.  I'm supposed to love her more than anyone but she keeps on mistreating me and all those around her. I don't know if that's a product of her generation but not all the parents I grew up around were like this.

 

Her thinking is that she's the mother and I'm the child so she's the priority. No matter how old I am, her needs are more important than mine because she's the mother. She's always right and she deserves to be treated with respect even though she doesn't respect others. 

 

I have let many things go but I won't let her belittle me anymore. Her ways may be the definition of being a mother at a given time but that doesn't mean that her decision or influences should continue to ruin my happiness.

 

It's just a way to keep children down and submissive forever and I'm done. I call the shots now. I decide how I'm treated. She doesn't have to agree and in that case there will be limited contact. I don't have to live a miserable life now that I have my own life to live. 

~Live with Intention~
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@NycVixen wrote:

@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:

@NycVixen wrote:

I understand the concern. There are a lot of chemicals being used. Not a good idea. But there's not much you can do.

 

My mom was a heavy smoker when I was little and those were her Malboro years. I don't know if someone ever told her anything, but knowing her she would most likely say it was her house, mind your business. So far, I'm OK (fingers crossed). She wasn't affectionate, but the house was clean, food was on the table and a roof over my head. That was her definition of being a good mother. I don't agree but according to her that's my opinion.

 

Parents cannot be expected to do everything with 100% thinking if it's good for their children. It's just not realistic. It's sad but true. Unfortunately, some things have to give. I don't smoke and it's due to seeing how horrible it is firsthand. So in that vein, she did me a favor. I definitely won't be taking my children to a nail salon but I have to accept that not doing so won't be a priority for others. Let's just hope taking the little ones to a salon is the only area where these mothers drop the ball. 


That was the definition of a mother at the time and what was expected of them and they were expected to raise strong children, not fragile children.  She smoked as did most women of her day.  Don't hold grudges.  You will wear yourself down.  Appreciate your mother for what she did because it was what she knew.


@Nonametoday I understand your point. It makes sense to some degree the idea to not coddle your children. However, I'm a young woman. Things were different by then. 

 

I appreciate her for raising me and I'm thankful. The irony is that she believes she deserves all this love and devotion for some reason when she continues to be a harsh and critical person. She says the most hurtful things and always says I can't accomplish this or I'm not good enough for that.  I'm supposed to love her more than anyone but she keeps on mistreating me and all those around her. I don't know if that's a product of her generation but not all the parents I grew up around were like this.

 

Her thinking is that she's the mother and I'm the child so she's the priority. No matter how old I am, her needs are more important than mine because she's the mother. She's always right and she deserves to be treated with respect even though she doesn't respect others. 

 

I have let many things go but I won't let her belittle me anymore. Her ways may be the definition of being a mother at a given time but that doesn't mean that her decision or influences should continue to ruin my happiness.

 

It's just a way to keep children down and submissive forever and I'm done. I call the shots now. I decide how I'm treated. She doesn't have to agree and in that case there will be limited contact. I don't have to live a miserable life now that I have my own life to live. 


Are you my younger sister?

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Posts: 18,752
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There are plenty of toxic mothers and fathers out there, we see it in the news often enough.

 

Sometimes the best thing an adult child can do is walk away.

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Posts: 18,504
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@haddon9 wrote:

@NycVixen wrote:

@NameAlreadyTaken wrote:

@NycVixen wrote:

I understand the concern. There are a lot of chemicals being used. Not a good idea. But there's not much you can do.

 

My mom was a heavy smoker when I was little and those were her Malboro years. I don't know if someone ever told her anything, but knowing her she would most likely say it was her house, mind your business. So far, I'm OK (fingers crossed). She wasn't affectionate, but the house was clean, food was on the table and a roof over my head. That was her definition of being a good mother. I don't agree but according to her that's my opinion.

 

Parents cannot be expected to do everything with 100% thinking if it's good for their children. It's just not realistic. It's sad but true. Unfortunately, some things have to give. I don't smoke and it's due to seeing how horrible it is firsthand. So in that vein, she did me a favor. I definitely won't be taking my children to a nail salon but I have to accept that not doing so won't be a priority for others. Let's just hope taking the little ones to a salon is the only area where these mothers drop the ball. 


That was the definition of a mother at the time and what was expected of them and they were expected to raise strong children, not fragile children.  She smoked as did most women of her day.  Don't hold grudges.  You will wear yourself down.  Appreciate your mother for what she did because it was what she knew.


@Nonametoday I understand your point. It makes sense to some degree the idea to not coddle your children. However, I'm a young woman. Things were different by then. 

 

I appreciate her for raising me and I'm thankful. The irony is that she believes she deserves all this love and devotion for some reason when she continues to be a harsh and critical person. She says the most hurtful things and always says I can't accomplish this or I'm not good enough for that.  I'm supposed to love her more than anyone but she keeps on mistreating me and all those around her. I don't know if that's a product of her generation but not all the parents I grew up around were like this.

 

Her thinking is that she's the mother and I'm the child so she's the priority. No matter how old I am, her needs are more important than mine because she's the mother. She's always right and she deserves to be treated with respect even though she doesn't respect others. 

 

I have let many things go but I won't let her belittle me anymore. Her ways may be the definition of being a mother at a given time but that doesn't mean that her decision or influences should continue to ruin my happiness.

 

It's just a way to keep children down and submissive forever and I'm done. I call the shots now. I decide how I'm treated. She doesn't have to agree and in that case there will be limited contact. I don't have to live a miserable life now that I have my own life to live. 


Are you my younger sister?


 

 

Me three.

 

My mother actually did come from the "of course you'll have children, that's the point of being born a woman" age.  And I know that she never thought of it that way; in her era, having a family was just what you did. Most women didn't think of any alternatives, or if they did, most women didn't fight for it. But consequently, many women had children who should not have, because they didn't really want a child in the have one to love and nurture sense, but in the I got 'em, you got 'em, we all got 'em or we're weird and looked down on sense. Having kids during those years was a keeping up with the Joneses thing to some extent, even if nobody saw it at the time.

 

But unmotherly, selfish mothers have probably been around since Neanderthal days and will probably be around forever.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
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The general public unfortunately is filled with ignorant, self-centered people. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
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@haddon9  That's possible. Sorry you also had to go through that.

 

~Live with Intention~
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@MoonchildeI completely agree.  People often have kids they don't really want for the sake of having them due to the times and particularly to keep up with the Joneses. Sorry you relate as well.

 

For those that are lucky enough not to know, when your parent never wanted to be one, it becomes obvious really fast. You grow up quickly because you have to. 

 

Back to this whole salon thing, this is just the tip of the iceberg as we know. These dangers are not as known as others are today like smoking so awareness is needed. 

 

However, like I said some things have to give. If this would've been the worst thing my mother did, I would have no complaints. 

~Live with Intention~
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Re: Children in nail salons

[ Edited ]

@Carmie wrote:

I witnessed two young girls about 3 and 5 years old who came to the salon with their mother and grandmother.  As soon as they got there, the little girls took off their shoes and proceeded to run around.  The mom was in the chair getting her hair done, the GM was sitting in the waiting room.

 

i told the GM that the girls should not be without shoes in the salon because they couldn't get a hair splinter in their feet.  I explained that they were very painful and hard to remove and even see.  She made the girls come back and put on their shoes.

 

The very next day, I got a hair splinter in my foot.  I guess that's what I get.

 

There are many dangers in a salon.  KIds should be left at home if possible and babies should never be allowed in.

 

 


@Carmie

 

Learn something new every day ..... never heard of a hair splinter, so I looked it up.   All I can say is ...  ew.

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Poor babies! Can you imagine their little airways inhaling those fumes? As far as the owner goes, I would think that allowing babies/children inside the salon would be a liability issue.

 

There is a severe lack of common sense these days. I once had a boss ask me why I thought to handle something a certain way. I answered, "Common sense?" He told me there are hardly any people these days with that "trait."I was shocked, to be honest. I just assumed that everybody innately did have some degree of common sense. (This was a long time ago, LOL).

 

My heart aches for the babies I hear & read about being raised by these cretins.

 

dee