Cause for celebration! Sweeping toxic people out ... - Page 3

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
I'd like to sweep that cringe worthy "toxic people" psycho babble out of existence.

I kind of think that maybe I see this topic (in general) similar to you.

I know there are people who, today, we define as toxic. They have always been around, and a part of life, just called by different (and sometimes no so nice)names.

While I certainly agree that it isn't good to get mixed up in their drama, and one cannot let them affect your outlook, running from them is letting them win. (Not saying that OP was doing this).

There is much to be learned from those difficult people in our lives, and much to be learned about ourselves in dealing with them.

So while much of today's philosophy is to rid yourself of those 'toxic' people, I'd just suggest that there might be as much or more value in learning how to deal with them, and not let them take over your emotions, life, etc.

straykatz · ‎03-09-2010

@Mominohio wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
I'd like to sweep that cringe worthy "toxic people" psycho babble out of existence.
I kind of think that maybe I see this topic (in general) similar to you.

I know there are people who, today, we define as toxic. They have always been around, and a part of life, just called by different (and sometimes no so nice)names.

While I certainly agree that it isn't good to get mixed up in their drama, and one cannot let them affect your outlook, running from them is letting them win. (Not saying that OP was doing this).

There is much to be learned from those difficult people in our lives, and much to be learned about ourselves in dealing with them.

So while much of today's philosophy is to rid yourself of those 'toxic' people, I'd just suggest that there might be as much or more value in learning how to deal with them, and not let them take over your emotions, life, etc.

Anyone can be difficult or face difficulties at any given moment.....but IMO there is a difference between difficult and toxic. Toxic people draw you into their way of thinking and behaving so you then start thinking/behaving the same way and it's always extremely negative in some manner....and very difficult to rise above. Have you ever read the book Toxic Parents? The smae principles in this book can be applied to anyone not just parents....however that book does focus on toxic parenting and the effect it has on a person's life as a child and into adulthood and the struggle to move beyond/away from the damage.

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

@Mominohio

I think there’s much wisdom in your post. I believe part of life is learning to get along with all types of people. Of course, some will be more damaged than others and therefore more difficult. One of the things I’ve always tried to do with difficult people is understand why they are the way they are.

For instance, my toxic boss - - based on his behavior I could only guess that he grew up in a home where he was never good enough and constantly criticized. I tried to understand him but in the end I came to believe he was a psychopath. It’s only a guess on my part but he enjoyed being cruel to others, hurting and undermining them. It’s hard to know where to draw the line on toxic people, when to be patient and when to let go.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Sometimes they do it for attention. Maybe ignoring them? Ignore, keep smiling, pretend to be the happiest you can be. That's an intentional 'pay-back' (in a nice way). (Big smile)

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

its very difficult to ignore a toxic person if it's your passive-aggressive boss, a narcissist who shares on office with you. your boss, who was hired by another crack-pot who left the company, and she is now embedded because the dept. is her baby. completely incompetent but they can't fire her becuase her husband practically invented a specific industry standard.

especially a boss who will put words in people's mouths, pit one staff member against another and chuckle watching the fall-out.

and use job-related health concerns and FMLA time against staff members in their reviews.

thats just the short list

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I don't believe in choosing to be around toxic people or those who intentionally want to make me feel bad. On the other hand if that toxic person is my boss and I really need the job, I find a way to put up with it. I once worked with a woman who would set me up against another coworker to get me to confront her. If you can believe it I thought this woman liked me, but she was just using me to get at this other woman. I ended up being friends with this other coworker when she called this fact to my attention. I was so glad finally to be able to walk away from that situation.

Topaz Gem · ‎03-10-2010

ECBG, there are toxic people in every company, IMO. The names just change. I have learned to deal with them in a way that works for me, but everyone is different. Best of luck in your new position. :-)

"Summer afternoon-summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." ~Henry James

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@ECBG wrote:
I have been working in a toxic job for eight months. There are so many friends where I work and I enjoyed the customers, and well, just everything! I "styled" people and sold 150-160 percent over my established goal. Never got a review that I didn't get a raise.
Have you ever worked with someone that seemed nice, but everywhere she worked was miserable? Well, after several months in other areas she's with us! Loud and she lied about her knowledge of the extremely expensive items we sell, fine gems! I "so" feel for her customers!
I've "had it" with toxic". Management won't help! Today I got a position with a crafts group I have always been drawn to! I can't stand to just sit home; don't want to do the kinds of things where you donate time, I'm back to a type of teaching! Yeah!

Have you been forced to deal with toxic people?

Have you ever delt with "that one"?

I dealt with many different types of people during my long working years. My jobs never involved selling anything or working directly with the public, for the most part anyways.

Now I also have run an adult hockey league for 52 years and met hundreds and hundreds of people.

Toxic? I never let any individual or group bother me enough to consider anyone or any group to fit the word "toxic". I have many other terms, which I can't use here, for what I saw/see them as being.

Maybe my starting working at age 8 and dealing with lot's of people by the age of 12 was/is an advantage for me. Worked with mostly the male gender for most of my 33 years with a big company and maybe that is different than if I had worked that long with mixed gender co-workers, I just don't know.

hckynut(john)

Justice4all · ‎12-22-2013

@hckynutjohn

GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK, JOHN!

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

@cotton4meUnderstand completely. I worked for a boss like that for years and years with very few options until finally I got transferred with a chance to work with a wonderful superior. You'd never have known it was the same job!