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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎09-08-2010

@Irshgrl31201 I've watched Catfish and it is very hard to believe these people are so stupid. I've know women that were lied to by men online, however they never met them in person. One lady was sent pics of a man that were about 10 years younger and 100 pounds lighter than he actually was. She found a Facebook account he had made at one time he had apparently forgot about and caught him.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎08-19-2010

@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

@SharkE wrote:

@missy1 wrote:

@tansy wrote:

@SharkE wrote:

Like Phil says "would you rather be happy, alone or miserable with a man"?

 

Decision, is yours.  My sister in law remarried not quite a yr. after her husband died and all she could do is sit around and whine "I don't want to be alone" boo hoo, boo hoo.

 

Well, she remarried and he's tighter then a tick she's still having to work at almost 75 and he makes her pay most of the household accounts and pay for the groceries all out of her babysitting money and her own SS because you see he wouldn't let her draw off of his which would had given triple benefit monthly. So now, she's getting a lousy 450 a month SS and babysitting and paying the bills.

 

Yep, I'd rather been alone and living in a Gov. apt that's subsidized or in my child's basement. Her daughter would had let her stay with them for free all she would had had to do is tidy up the house and help her working daughter, but, no she wanted a man and she got a lou lou.


Your SIL doesn't need his permission to get the higher benefit.  She should contact SS to see if she qualifies for the higher benefit.


 

I have a long time for S.S. How does one get a higher amount of SS, if the other spouse is not deceased or divorced (drawing from ex husband)?  


You have to wait till he's dead and prove you were married 10 yrs. or more. Far as I know.


 

@SharkE I was confused about this too. Above you said he wouldn't let her draw off of his which would have given her triple the amount of money. How would she draw off of his if he is still alive? Did you mean to say draw off of her husband who died? That would drive me crazy, watching a person you care about allow themselves to be walked all over. What does she tell you when you tell her she doesn't need his permission to get the higher amount? That is so crazy she wouldn't listen to you. I can't imagine being that desperate for a man. I SO would rather be by myself than with a man like that. That must be so exasperating for you!

 

As for Catfish, I have watched that show many times and it is so hard to believe people are actually that dumb. I don't understand why someone would continue to email or even talk to someone for so long with out ever meeting. THen when they are supposed to meet, the person has another reason for cancelling it. How are people so naive to have never met the person or never even talked to them on the phone or skype and there is always an excuse as to why that hasn't happened. I watched one episode where the guy and girl had been talking for over 10 yrs and he would never skype her, always making an excuse and every meeting they had planned he would get into a car accident or have some crazy outlandish story. How do you NOT know at that point that the person is not who they say they are. It is just unbelieveable to me that people are that stupid. 


" was confused about this too. Above you said he wouldn't let her draw off of his which would have given her triple the amount of money. How would she draw off of his if he is still alive? Did you mean to say draw off of her husband who died? "

 

He doesn't have to be dead to draw off of him. He retired and when she called from where she worked as a babysitter so he wouldn't know she had even applied for SS she just drew on herself she had worked few yrs for a electric Co. why she only gets that little. Her first husband (dead) never made that much either wonder though why she never drew his? have to ask my husband about that must not had been that much difference. He liked to gamble and hit the track though.

The 2nd husband worked over 30 yrs at Alcoa plant, plus, did side jobs for people he retired with full pension, benefits and around 2500 a month in SS. The daughter of my sister in law figures he gets total 3500 a month with pension included. He was afraid his first wife and my sil would cut down on this and why he told her "you'd better not sign up off of me".  My husband has told her "when he dies he's now in his 80's you can sign up to get his benefits", but, whether or not she will who knows.

 

I drew off my husband after he hit 66 (full retirement age) I was 63 and never worked enough to draw off myself and good thing because I never made his money LOL Anyway, when he dies you can bet the farm I'm going back to draw his. He's not retired yet either he's going for 70. Just works part time

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Posts: 338
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@Mellie32 wrote:

An online catfish is someone who pretends to be someone else on the internet for a variety of reasons.

 

Have you ever "met" a catfish or suspected that you've been talking to a catfish?  


Hi @Mellie32!  Good to see you Smiley Happy

 

 

My daughter just found out one of her pictures was used to open up a profile on a dating website.  Needless to say, she was livid.  She contacted the website and the profile has since been deleted.  I don't understand the reason behind being a "catfish" but I love the show...I have a huge crush on Nev! 

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Posts: 35,823
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

@missy1 wrote:

The op SIL husband is ALIVE and MARRIED to each other, so how would that work? . How can the SIL collect more SS from him? SIL  gets $450 a month SS. That means she did not work/make much in  those quarters. Is her husbabd saying she can collect more from her previous spouse to get more SS?

 

I know about the 10 years married rule.

Also, if your spouse is now deceased.

 

@tansy


she can't draw off of him now but because the stupid thing signed up to draw off herself,  you can't get it now, what you sign up for is what your getting, BUT, when he dies, THEN, she can. If she had signed up to draw off of him when she first signed up she would be getting probably over a 1000 a month, but, he had her buffalooed.

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@Ibby114 wrote:

@shoptilyadropagain wrote:

Thank you for the "Catfish" explanation, @Gioiella.  I've never seen the original documentary but I've watched the MTV show from the very beginning. I had always wondered where and how that term originated but had never investigated it before.


I watch the show all the time- Nev Shulman usually mentions the origin of the word in the intro. 


I've NEVER heard the FULL explanation on the show before. (shipping Cod overseas and adding catfish to the shipment to keep them active, etc.). 

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown
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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@SharkE

 

I never knew you can draw off your current husbands SS, when you haven't paid in (worked). I thought you can draw off his SS when he passes.  Does your husband get less of his (that makes up for yours)?  How do they figure how much you get when you haven't worked? I don't get this.

 

When one signs up for SS, are you told all the options to get the most?  I will probably never get SS, because of my age and they might stop it by then.

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 35,823
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

All kinds of booklets available thru SS . Gov site.

Yes, a woman can draw off her husband when he gets to the full retirement age (depends on the yr. he was born determines if he has to be 65 or 66)

mine was 66. This is still law right now. Once upon a time (LOL) women never worked that much they stayed home and looked after home and kids and could rely on drawing A PERCENTAGE OF WHAT THEIR HUSBANDS WILL DRAW WHEN HE RETIRES. I don't get all he will get when he retires, but, I get a percentage of what he has paid in over all these yrs.

 

It's a complicated formula, but, is spelled out in the Governments mail outs.

FREE to order, but, like I say I imagine this will be dropped in the near future because all women have to work nowdays and I look for them to drop a 'non working' woman from being able to get SS from her husband either living or dead. 

All women work, in my book, may not get paid for it, but, I don't know one woman who is a Queen.

Women usually outlive men and when my husband dies I will be able to claim his higher benefit.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@SharkE wrote:

All kinds of booklets available thru SS . Gov site.

Yes, a woman can draw off her husband when he gets to the full retirement age (depends on the yr. he was born determines if he has to be 65 or 66)

mine was 66. This is still law right now. Once upon a time (LOL) women never worked that much they stayed home and looked after home and kids and could rely on drawing A PERCENTAGE OF WHAT THEIR HUSBANDS WILL DRAW WHEN HE RETIRES. I don't get all he will get when he retires, but, I get a percentage of what he has paid in over all these yrs.

 

It's a complicated formula, but, is spelled out in the Governments mail outs.

FREE to order, but, like I say I imagine this will be dropped in the near future because all women have to work nowdays and I look for them to drop a 'non working' woman from being able to get SS from her husband either living or dead. 

All women work, in my book, may not get paid for it, but, I don't know one woman who is a Queen.

Women usually outlive men and when my husband dies I will be able to claim his higher benefit.


 

 

My generation it usually takes 2 incomes to survive.  I am sure they will change SS guidelines.. It will probably be you only get the amount that you worked for. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 35,823
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

Exactly ! Your right.  Here is some things you might like to read never to early to acquaint yourself.

 

https://www.ssa.gov/people/women/

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,713
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Gioiella wrote:

Actually, the term catfish for a deceptive Internet relationship comes from the movie Catfish.

 

The movie is a documentary about a young man who has an online relationship with a woman who turns out to be married and making up all of the details of her life. When the young man meets the husband of the "catfish", he describes her behavior by telling a story about actual catfish:

 

"When live cod were shipped to Asia from North America, the fish's inactivity in their tanks resulted in only mushy flesh reaching the destination. However, fishermen found that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active, and thus ensured the quality of the fish."

 

He made the analogy that there are people in everyone's lives who keep each other active, always on their toes and always thinking, suggesting that people should always be alert while socializing through the Internet.

 

The success of the movie, and the subsequent MTV show also called Catfish, lead to the adoption of the term, which has now been added to the dictionary.


@Gioiella I saw Thai documentary and it was very, very disturbing to me.  I could only guess that some sort of mental illness or severe depression would lead someone to this. I will say that I'm suspicious of any stranger online and have zero contact with people I don't know o line other than various customer service rep s and these message boards.  I take everyone in here with a grain of salt, and there are more than a few regular posters that I suspect of being either a teenage boy, your man, or someone entirely different than who they portray themselves to me.  The "woman" who was pining for her high-school flame for example lol.  

 

It was a very good documentary (not great; very good) and I felt so sorry for