Community Chat

[minkbunny]

I was going to say $100 as well. That would be a fine gift considering he is not in your immediate social circle of friends.

[Cranberries]

I too only heard about the whole money given = reception cost here. Never heard such a thing otherwise. I don't agree with it either, plus unless you ask, which is rude, you have no idea how much they spend per plate/per guest.

Edit, in for this thread not ending well.

[scotttie]

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wedding-gift-etiquette-what-to-give-and-how-much/

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/attending-wedding/articles/5-rules-of-wedding-gift-givi...

Couple of articles above. I just googled ""How Much to give for a wedding present'

[Photo Donna]

On 5/21/2014 Cranberries said:

I too only heard about the whole money given = reception cost here. Never heard such a thing otherwise. I don't agree with it either, plus unless you ask, which is rude, you have no idea how much they spend per plate/per guest.

And how would you know how elaborate the reception is until you get there? Gifts are usually sent before, right?

[lulu2]

It depends where you live. We've had numerous threads about wedding gifts. In some areas of the country, $50 is the average gift. In other areas it's closer to $200.

As for covering the cost of your meal, how would a guest know how much the couple spent?

[151949]

On 5/21/2014 donovan said:

There is no such rule as 'cover your plate'. How am I supposed to know how much your reception cost? That would mean that someone I don't know very well but they had an expensive wedding would get more from me than my niece who had a modest one.

I give based on how close I am with the bride or groom. Family members get more $$ no matter if they have a huge wedding or a piece of cake in the church basement. And then it goes downhill from there.

I have never heard this anywhere but here either. I also judge the gift by how close, or not, we are to the couple. And, of course, you should NEVER go into debt to give a wedding gift.

[donovan]

Oh I don't think you made it up Scottie, just that it isn't true.

Google it, and you will find:

'Let’s be clear this is NOT a reception norm. As a matter of fact some say the cover-your-plate custom is a myth perpetuated by greedy brides. This idea is largely disparaged and denied by every single etiquette expert, including Emily Post and Miss Manners.

Columnist, Carolyn Hax says, “How ridiculous — and grabby, and rude — the cover-your-plate requirement really is.” She continues, “It’s also not a requirement at all but instead a corrupt little myth. You are under no obligation to reduce your love and support for your friends into a quid pro quo with the wedding couple and their caterer.”

[nlwilliams]

What you can afford.

[scotttie]

I don't think anyone should ever stretch their own budget to give a wedding gift. I agree with give what you can afford.

The part about covering the cost of your meal is something I read someplace once. I remembered it because I hadn't heard of it. I'm not married to the idea. :-)

[scotttie]

On 5/21/2014 donovan said:

Oh I don't think you made it up Scottie, just that it isn't true.

Google it, and you will find:

'Let’s be clear this is NOT a reception norm. As a matter of fact some say the cover-your-plate custom is a myth perpetuated by greedy brides. This idea is largely disparaged and denied by every single etiquette expert, including Emily Post and Miss Manners.

Columnist, Carolyn Hax says, “How ridiculous — and grabby, and rude — the cover-your-plate requirement really is.” She continues, “It’s also not a requirement at all but instead a corrupt little myth. You are under no obligation to reduce your love and support for your friends into a quid pro quo with the wedding couple and their caterer.”

Thank you!

funny that greedy brides probably made it up LOL!