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11-03-2018 07:09 PM
My mother lives with us and we have a lady come in once a week for her bath.She was doing this at her house before she moved in with us.We both like her but a couple of months now she comes over with so much perfume I cant stand it.I pay her to come and I want to ask her not to wear it do you think I should or would that not be right to do.I dont wear perfume donts like it and my whole house smells like it after she leaves.I also have allergys and it bothers them too.One time I said something that boy you sure got alot of perfume on but she still comes with it.Should I say something or not.
11-03-2018 07:14 PM
Yes, say something. Tell her you really like her perfume, but it bothers your allergies. Ask if she could not wear it when she comes over.
11-03-2018 07:15 PM
Speak up - you're paying the lady - it's your house and your allergies - don't remain silent!
11-03-2018 07:27 PM
You have every right to say something. Tell her you have allergies and you can't be around it. My DD went to a Dr. appt and the assistant had on too much perfume. My DD flared up right there in the exam room. The Dr. came in and told her that her histamines were off the chart. Then the Dr. told the assistant to go home and take a shower and come back. Told her not to wear fragrance to work again because it bothers some of the patients. Gotta have respect for other people, especially in their own house.
11-03-2018 07:28 PM - edited 11-03-2018 07:32 PM
Speak up! You are paying her. Tell her nicely that you and your mom are sensitive to perfume and to please not wear it when she's with the two of you. No biggie.
IMO you don't need to make up something like allergies, just be up front and honest in a nice way.
11-03-2018 07:40 PM
Absolutely you should say something. No care giver should be wearing any kind of perfume. We had hospice come in for my Mom and they never wore any scent.
11-03-2018 07:43 PM
Years ago when I worked in a cancer treatment facility (I'n not a medical person) all employees, male and female, were not allowed to wear any cologne, perfume, or aftershave due to the fact that cancer patients are often very senstive to such things.
11-03-2018 07:47 PM
@sierracat Absolutely, in a soft but firm voice.
I was on the other side of this fence one time. My tai chi teacher asked me what I was "wearing"....I knew exactly what she meant. I use cruelty free essential oils and I stopped immediately for tai chi class.
A different point of view: a colleague at work wears a very strong old Estee Lauder fragrance. I can tell when she has been in the area...the scent is dense and lingers in a not so pleasant way. She is a wonderful person and I have never said a word....just let it go.
11-03-2018 07:50 PM
@Love my grandkids wrote:Years ago when I worked in a cancer treatment facility (I'n not a medical person) all employees, male and female, were not allowed to wear any cologne, perfume, or aftershave due to the fact that cancer patients are often very senstive to such things.
@Love my grandkids......AMEN to that.
And no, she should not be afraid to say anything to her mother's care giver. Hopefully she will not wear it anymore.
11-03-2018 08:09 PM
@sierracat Absolutely say something. In fact, TELL her she is not to wear any scent while tending to your loved one. You have the right to set the rules regarding this.
When my son is in the hospital, there is a BIG sign on his door that NO ONE may enter if they have on any scent. This includes handcream, bodycream, aftershave even strong deodorant scents. Scents can set off specific nerves and send him into pain levels that we then have to sedate him; NO ONE is going to cause my son pain because they don't want to be inconvenienced. Trust me, I've escorted so many people out....I just don't care. My son is the priority, not their feelings.
When at Duke, the neurological facility where my son stays is a scent free zone. Staff must use unscented detergent on their clothes, body products...even their hair is given the sniff test. This is how serious scents can affect someone.
So, @sierracat, DO make it clear. If she has an issue, then you know where her priorities lie.
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