Community Chat

[Goodie2shoes]

I am the oldest of 10 and my mom and dad divorced when we were teens. My mom raised us and me being the oldest had to run the household while my mom worked and somedays she worked a 16  hr shift as a nurse. She was my inspiration for me also becoming a nurse. I learned how to run the household which made me very independent and able to rely on myself.

After breaking up with my childrens dad, I bought my own home (he was very surprised and thought I would not be able to purchase a home by myself) I fooled him  and didn't tell him until after I had signed the loan papers !!   So yes ! I rely on myself to handle my business and I taught my children to do the same.

[cindyNC]

@Jordan2 Good for you. It's never too late, but it can be a real struggle at times to work through problems on our own. 

[Trailrun23]

Anyone who has been a single mom knows that relying on yourself goes with the territory. That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

[Desertdi]

SURVIVAL....is an instinct

[Snowpuppy]

For the OP, since your BIL has treated you badly of late, take  a victory lap around his neighborhood and give him a proper 'salute' from your car 😉

[hckynutjohn]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

Maybe it's the end of the year, I reflect on the past and have a sense of melancholy. I was the baby of the family and was treated as such, I didn't mind, I liked it. But it didn't serve me well as I got older, I never had to rely on myself, I had someone to fall back on. I had the best big brother, he looked out for me as much as he could. I was never good with computers, anytime I had a problem he helped me out. It was only after he died, I had no choice but to figure things out on my own. I surprised myself finding out I could solve my own problems ( it may take me longer than others but I get there). About 2 weeks ago I got a flat tire ( never had one before), I pulled over into a parking lot. Now in the past I would have called my brother-in-law but I don't ask him for anything anymore and decided I needed to handle this myself. I called AAA and waited in the rain and cold for an hour for the tow truck. He put the donut on and I went to a shop and bought a new tire. This may not be a big deal to most, but I was proud of myself for handling it myself. What I'm trying to say is I now know I am the only one I can rely on. I remember my mom use to say to me "you'll always be my baby no matter how old you are", mom maybe your baby is finally an adult. 

@Jordan2 

Like you, I was the baby of the family. No brother, but 3 older sisters. All of us were raised by only our mother. At very young ages we were all taught to be independent. 

I learned how to use the old style Maytag Washing Machine, with a "wringer" built on the top of it. I learned how to Iron, back then we even ironed our Jean's. My mom taught me how to cook certain types of food/baking/frying/deep frying in saucepans.

Didn't mow grass because in the Public Housing Projects there was little grass, and it was mowed by maintenance workers. Did shovel snow off our very small 2 porches. Borrowed shovel from 1 neighbor that owned one.

Can I rely on me? Absolutely, I have done so almost all of my life. To me it's unfortunate that so many were/are dependent on others, even in some of the simple aspects in life.  

hckynut 🇺🇸

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[phoenixbrd]

 Being dependent because you need to be and have no choice is this matter is one thing, being dependent because you can and want to be is another!  I was raised to be independent... in a family that cultivated self reliance.  My mother was ahead of her time.

[Harpa]

I am my mother's daughter (the baby)! She was fiercely independent. There really are only a few times that I was actually babied. Which is good!

Sometimes I can rely on myself for breaking things and rely on my DH to fix them. He's just so good at those things!

For us, it's more like we appreciate each other's talents. For the most part for every day things, I'd rather do them myself.

[LindaSal]

@homedecor1 I am also the middle child and I think we are just naturally self reliant.  You have the older sibling (the boss) and the younger sibling (the baby) and you are left to hold your own.   I'm okay with it, I feel it taught me how to take care of myself.  Though I am blessed with a great DH and have become a bit spoiled, I will admit

[Imaoldhippie]

@Jordan2 ...............Congrats and good for you!  I was/am just the opposite.  Learned at an early age I could not count on anyone.  To this day I dont rely on my hubby out of habit, not because he is unreliable, its a habit for me of 50 plus years.