Community Chat

[kate2357]

Depends. I put up with an irrational, narcissist family member for 50 years and then when I was done, I was done. That person has done damage to so many people, it's hard to forgive. But I did let go of the hateful feelings I had and moved on.

I would not be able to forgive infidelity in my marriage.

I would not be able to forgive someone/anyone causing harm to my family. 

As for most anything else, yes, I can forgive if the person has sincerely appologized. People make mistakes and speak w/ anger of the moment ... people are human and I can forgive and move on. 

[qvcfreak]

I’m very forgiving, sometimes I feel people take advantage. 

My sister even  forgave the drunk driver that killed her son. She told her during her statement. 

[Jordan2]

That's why you have to think long and hard before you say something. Once it's said, it's out there, you can't take it back. People might say they forgive, but it will always be in the back of their mind, left unspoken. 

[kate2357]

@qvcfreak

I don't think I could be as forgiving as your sister. It would be very hard to get beyond the grief of losing my son to someone who acted so foolishly.

[AngelPuppy1]

Things said or done in anger are more easily forgiven by me.  As well as things done or said in stupidity.  However, things done and said in malice, and with full knowledge, are not.  Unless a total irreversable harm has been done, I can forgive almost anything as long as a heartfelt apology is tendered.  I might have a hard time forgetting it, but I will certainly try my hardest and give you a chance to prove yourself.  

[jubilant]

I read something years ago that I agreed with when it comes to forgiveness.  Here it is:

"Forgiveness involves a heart that cancels the debt but does not lend new money until repentance occurs.  A forgiving heart opens the door to any who knock...BUT....entry into the home (that is, the heart) does not occur till the muddy shoes and dirty coat have been taken off. The offender must repent if true intimacy and reconciliation are ever to take place. That means that cheap forgiveness---peace at any cost that sacrifices honesty, integrity, and passion---is not true forgiveness.

It is not letting others go off scot-free,"forgiven" and able to do harm again without any consequence.  Instead, forgiveness is an invitation to reconciliation, not the blind, cheap granting of it.

[qualitygal]

I have learned, I may not forget, but I can forgive. To not forgive, only hurts me and I can't move on to just stop thinking about something.  So move on, forgive even if you can't forget. 

[chiclets]

I do not believe you can forgive and not forget.

You must accept it or move on.

Even if you accept it, it will be in the shadow.

We all need and want forgiveness but yet some are too judgemental and critical to do so towards others who may give forgiveness to them.

Do not believe forgetting is an option, it is a haunt which dwells within the mind.

[speedy girl]

I forgive pretty easily but that's usually because I forget what I was mad about in the first place!

[CalminHeart]

The older I get, the easier it is to forgive. People don't have to apologize. People don't have to grovel. I just forgive. Carrying that anger or pain doesn't hurt anyone but me. Forgiveness is for me, not for the other party. 

Forgiveness doesn't mean I go back for more. It doesn't mean I forget. But it does mean I won't harbor the negative energy of grudges and anger. Life is a lot better this way.