Community Chat

[LilacTree]

Absolutely, as long as both want it that way.

[KittyLouSoutenu]

Yes, I do.

But I also think that in a great number of those relationships there is an undercurrent of sexual attraction. It's just part of the overall attraction to each other. Doesn't mean "something else is going on".

[HiLo]

I had a man friend for many years....but I wasn't what I would consider "Young" even when this relationship started. We were both interested in history, art, music and that an attraction.

[straykatz]

I think it depends on how close that freindship is because it can be too easy to cross that boundary if one or both find themself emotionly and or sexually vulnerable.

[Chrystaltree2]

It's possible....but not for my husband! I'm not Pollyanna and I don't believe in Pie in the Sky and gold at the end of rainbows. I'm a realist. Yeah, sure. I say if there's a 40 year age difference between the two, a platonic friendship is perfectly ok. Other than that a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman is risky business. A man and woman can be "just friends" today but if those pesky hormones kick in at the right time, anything can happen. So, if you are married or in a committed relationship, why would anyone take the risk? Out here in the real world where I live, I don't know any married people who have such friendships. Of course, I'm not talking about the work friends we all have. That's a different thing and I'm okay with that.

[LucyGoose]

On 3/25/2015 Chrystaltree said:

It's possible....but not for my husband! I'm not Pollyanna and I don't believe in Pie in the Sky and gold at the end of rainbows. I'm a realist. Yeah, sure. I say if there's a 40 year age difference between the two, a platonic friendship is perfectly ok. Other than that a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman is risky business. A man and woman can be "just friends" today but if those pesky hormones kick in at the right time, anything can happen. So, if you are married or in a committed relationship, why would anyone take the risk? Out here in the real world where I live, I don't know any married people who have such friendships. Of course, I'm not talking about the work friends we all have. That's a different thing and I'm okay with that.

These are my feelings as well.

[blackhole99]

My best friends were always male, especially in high school. I found you don't have all the drama and cattiness with guys.

[dooBdoo]

Question posed: "Can Men and Women only be Friends? Or is there always something extra going on?"

I had many male friends in high school and college. (Sidebar related to previous comments: I always saw a lot less drama, judgment, and immature grudge-holding among my male friends. I don't know why it was that way, but it has been the case in my experience and I don't mean to stereotype for anyone else's experience. I do cherish the close friendships with other women when we find a special bond I describe as "sisterhood.") Since my career has been in IT I've worked closely with far more men than women.

Based on all that, my answer is yes, they can and there's not always something else going on. I've experienced it and seen it among others, married and single. But a caveat: It has a lot to do with the restraint, ethics, self-awareness, maturity and self-control of the people involved, in my opinion.

[AnikaBrodie]

I have a lot of male friends and believe me they gossip a lot less.