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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

Absolutely, as long as both want it that way.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Super Contributor
Posts: 833
Registered: ‎02-15-2015

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

Yes, I do.

But I also think that in a great number of those relationships there is an undercurrent of sexual attraction. It's just part of the overall attraction to each other. Doesn't mean "something else is going on".

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,263
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

I had a man friend for many years....but I wasn't what I would consider "Young" even when this relationship started. We were both interested in history, art, music and that an attraction.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,380
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

I think it depends on how close that freindship is because it can be too easy to cross that boundary if one or both find themself emotionly and or sexually vulnerable.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,112
Registered: ‎12-08-2014

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

It's possible....but not for my husband! I'm not Pollyanna and I don't believe in Pie in the Sky and gold at the end of rainbows. I'm a realist. Yeah, sure. I say if there's a 40 year age difference between the two, a platonic friendship is perfectly ok. Other than that a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman is risky business. A man and woman can be "just friends" today but if those pesky hormones kick in at the right time, anything can happen. So, if you are married or in a committed relationship, why would anyone take the risk? Out here in the real world where I live, I don't know any married people who have such friendships. Of course, I'm not talking about the work friends we all have. That's a different thing and I'm okay with that.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,057
Registered: ‎04-20-2012

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

On 3/25/2015 Chrystaltree said:

It's possible....but not for my husband! I'm not Pollyanna and I don't believe in Pie in the Sky and gold at the end of rainbows. I'm a realist. Yeah, sure. I say if there's a 40 year age difference between the two, a platonic friendship is perfectly ok. Other than that a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman is risky business. A man and woman can be "just friends" today but if those pesky hormones kick in at the right time, anything can happen. So, if you are married or in a committed relationship, why would anyone take the risk? Out here in the real world where I live, I don't know any married people who have such friendships. Of course, I'm not talking about the work friends we all have. That's a different thing and I'm okay with that.

These are my feelings as well.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

My best friends were always male, especially in high school. I found you don't have all the drama and cattiness with guys.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,586
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

Question posed: "Can Men and Women only be Friends? Or is there always something extra going on?"

I had many male friends in high school and college. (Sidebar related to previous comments: I always saw a lot less drama, judgment, and immature grudge-holding among my male friends. I don't know why it was that way, but it has been the case in my experience and I don't mean to stereotype for anyone else's experience. I do cherish the close friendships with other women when we find a special bond I describe as "sisterhood.") Since my career has been in IT I've worked closely with far more men than women.

Based on all that, my answer is yes, they can and there's not always something else going on. I've experienced it and seen it among others, married and single. But a caveat: It has a lot to do with the restraint, ethics, self-awareness, maturity and self-control of the people involved, in my opinion.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova
Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,285
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Can Men and Women only be Friends?

I have a lot of male friends and believe me they gossip a lot less.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~