Re: Can It Really Be 1 in 5?

Sushismom · ‎03-09-2010

I wonder what the stats were before it was thought of as abuse. I'm sure it was probably higher than 1 in 5.

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

On 9/17/2014 Lila Belle said:
On 9/17/2014 Jig Saw said:
But, but, but, we have raised a generation or two since spanking became taboo so why the increase in violence? Statistically it should have gone down, not up.

No, spanking is not taboo. Being glib as in your post just perpetuates the stigma many abused women and men feel.

I don't even know if there has been an increase in violence. It seems to have always been there, just more hidden.

When I was a kid, I'd hear people talk about it in a casual way, even in movies. "Putting the wife in her place," even jokes.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

These kinds of ads were common years ago. They reinforced hitting your wife, and it was taken for granted.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

On 9/17/2014 NoelSeven said:
On 9/17/2014 Lila Belle said:
On 9/17/2014 Jig Saw said:
But, but, but, we have raised a generation or two since spanking became taboo so why the increase in violence? Statistically it should have gone down, not up.

No, spanking is not taboo. Being glib as in your post just perpetuates the stigma many abused women and men feel.

I don't even know if there has been an increase in violence. It seems to have always been there, just more hidden.

When I was a kid, I'd hear people talk about it in a casual way, even in movies. "Putting the wife in her place," even jokes.

My mother told me once about military wives who "walked into the door," "tripped over the dog," or started to wear a lot of make up or cover up on their bodies, even their kids, when their husbands came home from being deployed. I've seen it myself when we were living on post.

Abuse, physical, emotional or monetary, has always been a problem. Thank god it is out in the open

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

On 9/17/2014 Lila Belle said:
On 9/17/2014 NoelSeven said:
On 9/17/2014 Lila Belle said:
On 9/17/2014 Jig Saw said:
But, but, but, we have raised a generation or two since spanking became taboo so why the increase in violence? Statistically it should have gone down, not up.

No, spanking is not taboo. Being glib as in your post just perpetuates the stigma many abused women and men feel.

I don't even know if there has been an increase in violence. It seems to have always been there, just more hidden.

When I was a kid, I'd hear people talk about it in a casual way, even in movies. "Putting the wife in her place," even jokes.

My mother told me once about military wives who "walked into the door," "tripped over the dog," or started to wear a lot of make up or cover up on their bodies, even their kids, when their husbands came home from being deployed. I've seen it myself when we were living on post.

Abuse, physical, emotional or monetary, has always been a problem. Thank god it is out in the open

You're right ${#emotions_dlg.sad}$

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices

cody2 · ‎03-19-2010

On 9/17/2014 ROMARY said:
I agree.......sometimes not having gainful employment is a huge problem. Frustrations run very high, etc. Not condoning/excusing violence by any means...........just could be one of the reasons for the higher numbers/statistics.

There is NO reason. None. Ever.

I would bet that more than 1 in 5 right here on this board have encountered abuse in their lifetimes. So no, I am not surprised.

cody2 · ‎03-19-2010

On 9/17/2014 NoelSeven said:
If one in five admit it, I suspect the real ratio is higher.

Yep.

chessylady · ‎05-01-2010

Brewhaha, some topics do not lend themselves to levity. Please respect the pain expessed by some of the posters.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Last night NCIS happened to be on, it's not a show I watch so I don't know the names of the characters, and a woman punched her coworker in the stomach as she passed by. The thing is that had the male actor done the exact same thing to the woman, there would be letters of outrage.

In movies and on TV we see women throwing things at men, slapping and kicking them, and I wonder why that's seen as somehow acceptable. Why aren't they arrested and charged? Even in the Rice incident, there has been nothing condemning the woman's behavior. So why the double standard?

cody2 · ‎03-19-2010

On 9/17/2014 moonstone dunes said:
On 9/17/2014 NoelSeven said:
On 9/17/2014 moonstone dunes said:
Abuse to my ex-husband meant setting a woman on fire. He had to take anger management classes at my request. This was before LE automatically made arrests and issued restraining orders in domestic assault cases.

One of the other participants in the class had set his wife on fire.

The ex told me what he did to me did not "count" as abuse. I left him within one year.

OMG, I'm glad you got out safely!

Thank you, Noel Seven. every time it happened I would think it won't happen again. those days would be the honeymoon days with roses and candy. sometimes godiva chocolates. it is a self-esteem issue. he made me feel, and i allowed it then, that no one could ever care for me. i could not tell anyone, even my family.

ESPECIALLY your family. I am so glad that you escaped. I hope your life and self esteem has gotten better and better! It was brave for you to share your story here.