CONTINUATION OF "I TRY NOT TO"

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

11. "Honestly officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were going to criticize me."

12. The DMV was crowded and noisy as ever. When finally I got to the window, I asked the clerk, "Does the never-ending line of loud people ever drive you crazy? She shook her head, "We call it security,"

13. A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you describe it?" she was asked. "Yes,"she said. "It's long and thin."

14. Scene: Me driving by a Taco Bell sign.: Now Hiring Managers. (Two weeks later...) Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.

15. The bean soup I ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said, "I don't like the bean soup either."

16. My goal for 2019 was to lose 10 pounds---only 15 to go.

17. Ate a salad for dinner...mostly croutons and tomatoes...really, just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce...and cheese,,,FINE, it was a pizza...I ate a pizza.

18. How to prepare Tofu (OK Kale)

1. Throw it in the trash.

2. Grill some meat.

19. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...

20. I don't mean to brag,,,I finished my 14 day diet food...in 3 hours and 2 minutes.

21. A recent study has been found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it!

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam