Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Well, I guess the good thing is that he decided he didn't want to be married BEFORE getting married.


But the bad thing is not only that he waited until practically the last minute to let her in on this little tidbit, but the fact that there is probably a HUGE monetary investment in the event.


If it were a perfect world, HE would pay for all of that.  She can probably sell her dress but, undoubtedly, at a loss.  But all the other amenities of a wedding/reception - yikes!   That's almost more of a loss than the loss of bonehead who seemed to be clueless and committed where he shouldn't have.

Super Contributor
Posts: 416
Registered: ‎11-08-2010

Sell the dress, have a party!


Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,146
Registered: ‎06-15-2015


[ Edited ]

 This happened to my granddaughter. He did pay for the expenses and deposits. It happened about 15 years ago. She was heartbroken no self-esteem left. About a year later they got back together again. Got  married and have two children and they are very happy together. To this day I don't know why she ever took him back but she loves him and that's what counts. Strange how things can happen. Sometimes things turn around. If your friend is not getting married to this man . Better now than children and a divorce later. My granddaughter gave him another chance and it was the best thing she did. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,572
Registered: ‎07-29-2012

Yes, this young girl we knew was waiting for her future husband to come home on leave about a week before the wedding.  He kept calling with various excuses about delays until the day before the wedding he backed out.  

A year later she got married to someone else and as far as I know is still married to him.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,523
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Sorry this happened to your friend, but better to find out now! Since everything is paid for, why not have a whopping good party with your friends and family. Or, donate the food.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,246
Registered: ‎03-10-2010


[ Edited ]



Invite the entire neighborhood, have a celebration party, casual attire only.  Who knows she might meet Mr. Right there!


Return the gown to the salon shoppe she purchased it.  If she didn't have extensive alterations who knows.  She might get a big $$$ return.  You never know if you don't ask.


I hope he has enough ethics to pay for at least part of the wedding plans.

"Faith, Hope, Love; the greatest of these is Love." ~The Silver Fox~
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,175
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Sad but I would have the party!  


Consider herself lucky.  


Only imagine how hard it would have been if the marriage had taken place and a divorce was the outcome.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,424
Registered: ‎03-09-2010


[ Edited ]

I heard of a family giving everything to women shelter. They allowed the mothers and their children to have a party.



Valued Contributor
Posts: 969
Registered: ‎09-10-2010

Yes happened to friends of mine. Their daughter AND the groom called off the fall wedding 1 week in advance. Were to be married in Holy Name Cathedral, Chicago - reception after at posh Chicago hotel - about 300 guests. 


The following summer the bride & groom had a simple wedding by a priest in her parents backyard with immediate family only and are living happily ever-after.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 174
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

A friend of mine had a problem w/the groom at the rehersal dinner the night before the wedding. He was rude to some of her attendants. She questioned her decision and even had a good cry and thought about cancelling. That was nearly 25 years ago when it wasn't as easy to cancel as today with 300 invited so she went through with it. 10 years and much agony later, they divorced. She remains single today. Wasted the young years of her life and now... time moves on. Sad. Likely a good decision for this couple.