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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,162
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

@jaxs mom I certainly understand wanting to leave an estate to ones children. However, not to the exclusion of the wife! There is no way on God's green earth I would marry this man! If he had told OP he wanted to divide his estate among his wife and children, I still would be wary! At this age, why marry and mess things up? Keep dating, but watch your wallet!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,162
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

@NicksmomESQ Better yet, do like the others say...RUN!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,162
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

@SahmIam I think this says it all! Magnificent advice! I hope OP listens!  I think OP knew it all along or would not have asked for help!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,633
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

I don't know.  I agree about just don't marry and mingle your funds/property.   This has been very eye opening.  Hopefully I am never in a position to be dating again, but I certainly would want whatever was left after I died to go to my kids, not some new man's kids eventually.  This has definitely been an interesting thread with great morsels of food for thought. Thanks so much to all who contributed. 

 

 

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 83
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

At least in MA, Mass Health (Medicaid) trumps a prenup in case he should need long term care.  A lien up to the value of 1/2 the house could be placed and whatever other assets you have (even previous to the marriage and seperately titled) could be taken up to the amount where you would be left only with about 100K.  It's too bad that the deck is so stacked against older people marrying.  As much as my heart says I'd like to marry my SO of 5 years, I don't think I'd ever do it.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,513
Registered: ‎09-22-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

If this man (or any other man) is not financially stable I would certainly think seriously about marrying him.   He should be able to rent office space.  If you are going forward with this you could rent your home (your brother and you share the proceeds) and purchase a new house equally with this man with an iron clad pre-nup to protect you and your brother.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,564
Registered: ‎03-19-2014

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

I would never approve of selling him half the home if I were in your situation.  However, if he would happen to purchase half of it,  then he has every right to do with it what he chooses whether it's one year or ten.  Do yourself a favor and ask your brother not to sell him his half.  He could always rent ithe house t from you and your brother or find another office space.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,838
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

Carlycat; Follow me through here.

 

That would not bother me in the least bit, but I am not about "material things" Also no one is thinking of this. If you die first he gets the whole house anyway. You cant predict death! But when people are married each owns half anyway!

 

What does bother me is that he was married 3X. That would worry me. But only you know him personally and what happened with his other marriages. So, I probably wouldnt have dated someone who was married 3X to begin with (unless he was widowed for 1 or 2 of those marriages).

 

But anyway I dont argue over material things. All that matters is what kind of guy is he? Only you know that, not anyone here. So i say do what is best for your situation.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,357
Registered: ‎03-23-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

I have an elderly uncle with 4 sons. His current wife of 25 years has 4 adult children.  When they first got married, they had their wills drawn up.  It went like this ~ the surviving spouse was left everything.  When the remaining spouse died, each child got what their biological parent had set aside for them.

 

If the boyfriend BUYS his half, then he should be able to do what he wants with his share.  Morally, I think it stinks but, we're talking legaleeze here. 

Carlycat ~ if he agrees and he dies before you, put it in writing that his share is left to you.  Now, if he is adament about this, skrew him.  That speaks volumes about him no matter how nice you THINK he is.  He may be nice but money does strange things to people.  You owe him NOTHING.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,757
Registered: ‎11-28-2012

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

I would not wast my time thinking about marriage to a guy who has been married 3 times.

 

If he bought 1/2 interest in the property, I see nothing odd about him leaving it to his children.