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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 83
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

HOW he dies is an important part of the picture.  If he requires long term care and has to apply for Medicaid at some point, she could lose all her interest in that house that is used as an office and be left with only about 100K in assetts.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,570
Registered: ‎09-13-2012

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?


@Isobel Archer wrote:

@Ms X wrote:

@Isobel Archer wrote:

OK, the new facts presented by the OP make this seem more reasonable.

 

Apparently, this would NOT be their primary residence.  She owns a house in her own name - he just sold his.  So the house in question would be jointly owned and he would use it as an office.  So if he died, selling it would be no worse for her than it apparently is now that she and her brother are planning to sell.  She would get her half - in both situations.

 

She hasn't said what they plan to do about a permanent residence.  If they plan to live in her house, as long as she retains it in her name, his death would not affect her ownership.  And, if that is the case, it would then be even more reasonable for him to want to leave at least the half of the other house to his kids.

 

Am I misunderstanding the situation here?


OP didn't want to sell half of the house to her BF and didn't like his reaction to that news.  He claimed everyone would agree with him, so she wanted to check that out here.  She and her brother will sell it, and she's reassessing the relationship, according to her final post.  We weren't there and don't know all the details of what the BF was suggesting and how he behaved during the disagreement, so we can't truly assess the situation.


Yes I understand that she didn't want to do it and was asking what others thought.

 

So I said what I thought - given the facts she presented.  Of course, I don't know everything - but she asked based on what she presented.  If we shouldn't assess the situation based on her stated facts, then there is really no point to this thread, is there?


We're all assessing it according to the stated facts.  I added a couple that you didn't include in your response but which I consider key.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,469
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

@carlycat

 

Yea, I'd give this more thought before doing anything.  I bought the house I live in with my man before we were married.  He had 2 grown kids and that house was set up as sole survivor should either of us kick the bucket.  My sister was the real estate agent, lol.

 

Seriously though, I didn't want him having a problem should I die and I didn't want to have a problem should he die.

 

We got married a couple of years later which pretty much solved it (here in Michigan, wife rules, even without a will).  

 

My husband died 10 years ago.  Had this happened before we were wed, at least I knew the house was mine.

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,373
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?


@Ms X wrote:

@Isobel Archer wrote:

@Ms X wrote:

@Isobel Archer wrote:

OK, the new facts presented by the OP make this seem more reasonable.

 

Apparently, this would NOT be their primary residence.  She owns a house in her own name - he just sold his.  So the house in question would be jointly owned and he would use it as an office.  So if he died, selling it would be no worse for her than it apparently is now that she and her brother are planning to sell.  She would get her half - in both situations.

 

She hasn't said what they plan to do about a permanent residence.  If they plan to live in her house, as long as she retains it in her name, his death would not affect her ownership.  And, if that is the case, it would then be even more reasonable for him to want to leave at least the half of the other house to his kids.

 

Am I misunderstanding the situation here?


OP didn't want to sell half of the house to her BF and didn't like his reaction to that news.  He claimed everyone would agree with him, so she wanted to check that out here.  She and her brother will sell it, and she's reassessing the relationship, according to her final post.  We weren't there and don't know all the details of what the BF was suggesting and how he behaved during the disagreement, so we can't truly assess the situation.


Yes I understand that she didn't want to do it and was asking what others thought.

 

So I said what I thought - given the facts she presented.  Of course, I don't know everything - but she asked based on what she presented.  If we shouldn't assess the situation based on her stated facts, then there is really no point to this thread, is there?


We're all assessing it according to the stated facts.  I added a couple that you didn't include in your response but which I consider key.


Yes the key facts I didn't include are that she didn't like his reaction and she has already made her decision about the house - and apparently about him as well.  So actually, I guess this thread is done.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,104
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?


@151949 wrote:

I would not even date , let alone live with or marry a man who has been divorced 3 times.  Definitely would not buy a house with him. If the OP really wants to solely own her home she should get a mortgage to buy her brother out herself.


Wow.  I personally know 3 couples where one of them was married 3 times and they have been married ranging from 15 to 22 years.  I never plan to remarry, but it has nothing to do with how many divorces someone has had.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,319
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

'All in all', it's often a good idea to have different opinions from 'different' people across the country.  BTW, sometimes if we 'add' a person to our property or sell half of it, wouldn't there be accessed property tax adjustments (higher)?  I don't know about now-a-days, but we knew a lady who added her relative to her sole property title, and significant taxes were owed a few years later, with penalties.  She had to have an attorney to straighten it all out.  This was about thirty or so years ago. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,319
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

[ Edited ]

This has been a very interesting thread......I'm sure that there are some others across the country who were approached by someone else (relative or friend) to 'buy out' half of their property, same as O/P's situation.  Good to know all of our various opinions, so we can contemplate ahead of time, and at least ASK important questions when we are in the realtor's (or attorney's, or whatever) office. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,554
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

All things considered, when there are adult children as potential heirs, it's always wise to assume that these heirs will want their inheritance ... stat.   

 

There's a lot to be said for maintaining simplicity ... keeping your assets in only YOUR name.   

Super Contributor
Posts: 474
Registered: ‎02-18-2016

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

Your coming here to get others thoughts on this is that little inner voice of yours

telling you something does not feel right.

Listen to that innervoice of yours......  His history should be enough to tell you

what you already know....... "Don't Do it"....... Let him get his own place for his

office, this is not your responsibility.   Keep your family home in the family.  If

you follow through with this it could get ugly.


@carlycat wrote:

Ladies, appreciate your thoughts on this situation . I am 60 and engaged to a nice man who is 63. I own my deceased mother's house with my brother, and my fiancée needs a house to use as his office. He does not currently own another home. We cere considering having him buy the other half of my  mother's house from my brother, so that my fiancée and I would own it together. 

However, he told me, that even if we got married, even if we owned it together for 10 years, he would leave his "half" of the house to his four adult children from his previous three marriages. He said he would let me use it as long as I wanted, but that he would not leave his "half" to me. 

I feel this is wrong and unreasonable, especially if we were married. He says I am unreasonable and anyone would agree with him. He had a very expensive third divorce and says he's not losing that kind of money again. Your thoughts, please. 


 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,713
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Buying a house with a significant other?


@carlycat wrote:

Ladies, appreciate your thoughts on this situation . I am 60 and engaged to a nice man who is 63. I own my deceased mother's house with my brother, and my fiancée needs a house to use as his office. He does not currently own another home. We cere considering having him buy the other half of my  mother's house from my brother, so that my fiancée and I would own it together. 

However, he told me, that even if we got married, even if we owned it together for 10 years, he would leave his "half" of the house to his four adult children from his previous three marriages. He said he would let me use it as long as I wanted, but that he would not leave his "half" to me. 

I feel this is wrong and unreasonable, especially if we were married. He says I am unreasonable and anyone would agree with him. He had a very expensive third divorce and says he's not losing that kind of money again. Your thoughts, please. 


@carlycat I haven't read all replies but assume you've gotten good suggestions.  The way I look at it is how I would feel if I were him (and you). 

 

Say im in my 69s and for whatever reason do not own a home.  I meet a man who owns a home and plan to marry him, and live in his home with him.  He then inherits a house/property with his brother,  I would personally stay away from that, because it isn't my business.  I wouldn't try to "get in on it" somehow, buying a share of it.  It's an inheritance and my significant other should deal with it (whether keeping or selling) on his own.

 

what really blows me away is that this man wants to buy only half of this house and use it as his office.  So essentially, by marrying you he not only gets your house (for free) but an office which he only needs to pay half price for.  It sure benefits him to marry you!  You are bringing a lot to this relationship, and he brings absolutely nothing financially.  I would never want to support a man when in my 60s.