Buying a house with a significant other? - Page 12

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

KathyPet: 'Trouble is' that it's possible that he can change his will at any time, and decide to NOT let his fiance/wife live in the house as long as she is alive. Right? Couldn't he state in a codicil that upon his death, his half of the house goes to his children (without specifying that she has the option to remain there)? Then they (his children) could force the O/P to 'buy them out', if she wants to remain in their house. Right? Just guessing, and I (obviously) don't have a clue regarding legal matters.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

p.s. I have to say, however, that at least he is telling her ahead of time what he is planning to do with his half. Some fiances, I'm guessing, aren't that honest. They would secretly 'go behind her back' and write the will; and she wouldn't know anything about it until his will is read. It would be a shocking surprise, to say the least. ........... Also, if he wants an 'office', he could rent one somewhere else. If he has the money to buy out her brother's half, then he has the money to rent an office. Unless he plans to pay a small amount to the brother each month. .... BTW, will a bank give a loan to someone who owns only half of a house? And what happens if or when he decides to not pay the loan payments? It's so complicated, imo. I probably wouldn't marry him and I'd have an attorney draw up a co-habitation contract, if I had decided to let him live with me.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

Well, he has to tell her, because when the house is purchased the lawyer would explain that the deed did not have rights of survivorship.

I understand that a person would want to leave assets to his children, but I don't see much concern in what happens to OP if he predeceases her. I suspect he's looking for a wife to defray his expenses and help build his childen's inheritance.

I also would not be comfortable with THREE prior divorces. I would not go with the gut or the heart here, but with the brain. Date him if you want, but don't give up your own home or financial freedom. Marriage with this guy comes with big risks.

Do the math.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

In general terms, someone your age with significant assets should never allow those assets to be compromised or encumbered by anyone for any reason. IMO, women of any age should always have some independent means, but at your age especially, you must think of yourself first and protect yourself first.

Ibby114 · ‎03-10-2010

I was so glad to read Carlycat's followup! Stay strong and continue listening to your gut instinct.

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

@carlycat I am so glad you saw the light. I suspect the BF is up to no good. Keep your house and keep the proceeds from the sale of your mother's house.

It is possible BF has much less cash than he has led you to believe. Why is he renting an apartment and why can't he afford to rent an office? Just suspicious all around. Get his background checked.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

OK, the new facts presented by the OP make this seem more reasonable.

Apparently, this would NOT be their primary residence. She owns a house in her own name - he just sold his. So the house in question would be jointly owned and he would use it as an office. So if he died, selling it would be no worse for her than it apparently is now that she and her brother are planning to sell. She would get her half - in both situations.

She hasn't said what they plan to do about a permanent residence. If they plan to live in her house, as long as she retains it in her name, his death would not affect her ownership. And, if that is the case, it would then be even more reasonable for him to want to leave at least the half of the other house to his kids.

Am I misunderstanding the situation here?

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@Isobel Archer wrote:
OK, the new facts presented by the OP make this seem more reasonable.

Apparently, this would NOT be their primary residence. She owns a house in her own name - he just sold his. So the house in question would be jointly owned and he would use it as an office. So if he died, selling it would be no worse for her than it apparently is now that she and her brother are planning to sell. She would get her half - in both situations.

She hasn't said what they plan to do about a permanent residence. If they plan to live in her house, as long as she retains it in her name, his death would not affect her ownership. And, if that is the case, it would then be even more reasonable for him to want to leave at least the half of the other house to his kids.

Am I misunderstanding the situation here?

OP didn't want to sell half of the house to her BF and didn't like his reaction to that news. He claimed everyone would agree with him, so she wanted to check that out here. She and her brother will sell it, and she's reassessing the relationship, according to her final post. We weren't there and don't know all the details of what the BF was suggesting and how he behaved during the disagreement, so we can't truly assess the situation.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@carlycat wrote:
Hello, all, OP here.
No, I am NOT going to do this. I think it's ridiculous, and the quote from Maya Angelou did cross my mind. However, he was quite adamant with me that ANYONE would see his logic, so I was checking with everyone.
My brother and I are selling the house because we don't want to keep it. I own my own home and it is paid for. The BF just sold his home for a small profit and would rein invest that $ in my mother's home and he and I would jointly own it rather than selling it.
Frankly I was shocked that he said he would leave his "half" to his children and I am reconsidering the entire relationship. I agree with all of you. I'm sad, but better now than later. By the way, my brother said, "no way."

I am glad that you are listening to your head.

Too many women don't, and then wind up paying for it later.

You are a smart cookie.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@Ms X wrote:
@Isobel Archer wrote:
OK, the new facts presented by the OP make this seem more reasonable.

Apparently, this would NOT be their primary residence. She owns a house in her own name - he just sold his. So the house in question would be jointly owned and he would use it as an office. So if he died, selling it would be no worse for her than it apparently is now that she and her brother are planning to sell. She would get her half - in both situations.

She hasn't said what they plan to do about a permanent residence. If they plan to live in her house, as long as she retains it in her name, his death would not affect her ownership. And, if that is the case, it would then be even more reasonable for him to want to leave at least the half of the other house to his kids.

Am I misunderstanding the situation here?
OP didn't want to sell half of the house to her BF and didn't like his reaction to that news. He claimed everyone would agree with him, so she wanted to check that out here. She and her brother will sell it, and she's reassessing the relationship, according to her final post. We weren't there and don't know all the details of what the BF was suggesting and how he behaved during the disagreement, so we can't truly assess the situation.

Yes I understand that she didn't want to do it and was asking what others thought.

So I said what I thought - given the facts she presented. Of course, I don't know everything - but she asked based on what she presented. If we shouldn't assess the situation based on her stated facts, then there is really no point to this thread, is there?