Re: Buying a house with a significant other?

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

@Mrsq2022 Bing, bing, bing! My guess is that this guy has next to no $ and is looking at the OP as someone who will hold his--err--"budget" after his 3rd divorce!

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

So many responses. I hope all the suggestions have helped you. Would be interested in what you finally decided. For many of us we could all be in your shoes sooner or later. My single-mom daughter is dating and two of the 'gentlemen' gave her the impression that they were going to benefit from her home and her assets (not all that vast). She got a bit suspicious and showed them the door. Got to be careful these days.

terrier3 · ‎03-10-2010

RUN...Run as fast and as far as you can!

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

@bonnielu OP decided againt it. I think that it the right decision.

Do the math.

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

Thanks, I searched for her answer and got confused by all the replies. I think she is doing the right thing. You can only imagine the FUN my daughter is having sorting out those who want to have a meaningful relationship and those who want her to pay their bills.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

@MarieIG wrote:
@bonnielu OP decided againt it. I think that it the right decision.

@carlycat

Oh good. Well my opinion is that it's ok to be in a casual, companionship relationship with him, but no marriage under these terms.

We need to look after ourselves as we enter middle age, and make sure that we have the funds to support ourselves when we may need support in our 80s and 90s. I feel that there are men that skate along in life, and look for responsible women when they finally realize that they haven't planned for retirement well.

Staying in in a care facility in our 90s may cost $8000 or more a month. This isn't glamorous or exciting, but we need to accept it and plan for it. marrying someone in our 60s that doesn't bring much money to the table can put all of his stability this in jeopardy. OP with her 1.5 homes and whatever retirement she has saved is in great shape.

The biggest red flag for me is that he apparently sold tever home he had owned, and now lives for free in OPs home...rather than offering to give her his money and buy half of the home they now live in together, he wants to buy an office. Seriously? So he wants to live for free with you and buy an office. He should pay you rent, or use the cash he has in hand to buy half of your home. He is coming out so far ahead in this relationship financially that it is scary.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

@carlycat @LTT1 @ EVERYONE! Wow! I've never seen a post where so many people agree on something!

I totally agree with the majority. I know of several people who could have benefited from this information, their significant other died after many years together, but the house was in his name, he died (in 3 cases) and the 'kids' boosted her out! On one, the person I know had to give this woman a house for free until she could save money for a place to live.

I think you'd have to be crazy or stupid to not notice all of the red flags here. It was nice of people to take the time to respond, I sure hope the OP listens, but don't be surprised if she doesn't.....

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

It is not uncommon for 2nd or more marriages for the person who owns the property allows the surviving spouse to occupy the property until deceased and at that point the property is left to the owners children.

An agreement can be drawn up with whatever suits their needs. Often the one who moves in never contributes to the property at all so why should the property go to their heirs? Making an agreement can solve the problem.

truffle · ‎01-04-2016

Watching a spouse's children wait for you to die so they can take your house, is not a pleasant atmosphere in which to grow old. What if the OP wanted to sell the house and use the proceeds to go into assisted living? I would never allow someone else's kids to deprive me of that.