Community Chat

[goldensrbest]

I would have to walk away from her,she is dishonest.

[LilacTree]

Millieshops:

We were best friends for 65 years, and I accepted that she was totally narcissistic and I overlooked a lot of stuff, including listening to her talking to someone about hiring a hit man to kill her estranged husband.  Her rationale was if she didn't kill him, he would kill her.  She was temporarily living with me at the time and I was scared to death every night for ten months that someone would come into my house and kill me too!  (Had I ever thought she was really going to go through with this, I would have called police and testified against her.)

She wound up not going through with it because she won the divorce case and became $1.5 million dollars richer.  He died six months later from cancer.  She destroyed that family, but she always played the "victim."  She never accepted responsibility for anything she did.

I lost all respect for her and a few years later I witnessed something else she did and she lied to my face that she did it.  We argued and she got very nasty with me.  I put my cell phone down on my desk and didn't pick it up again.  I also knew it was finally over.  Three weeks later I received an email from her never to contact her again, which I have not.  That was almost four years ago.

I also had someone else in the family (through marriage, now divorced) who is a psychotic narcissist, but I won't go into that story right now, as it's even worse.  IMO, this type of individual is not really human.

[Suziepeach]

Yes I do...  and I won't go into it, too long of a story .. 

and a couple weeks ago hubby and I were at the Christmas Place store in Pigeon Forge.  I was in the restroom while he sat on a bench outside the door.  He said an old rickety van pulled up, parked, younger woman driving, older crippled woman got out the passenger side.  Hubby said to the driver, "You know that's not a parking place and people can't get around that turn."  She hatefully replied, "It's people like YOU that need to mind their own business."  He said, "Fine but you're blocking a turn."  So the crippled woman had gone on ahead and heard none of that but hubby said a vehicle had tried to make the turn and couldn't, backed up and had to find another way out.... to make a long story short, the crippled lady came back and moved the van....  Hubby said she just looked at him and backed out, the younger woman was no where around.. probably had bragged about how she spoke to my husband and the other lady wasn't going to have it..  Yes it's all about me me me me nowadays.. 

[Allegheny]

Sure, I know people with those tendencies. One was a co-worker, who was a real schemer, affording herself of anything that would benefit her.

For example, she was issued a handicapped license plate since she transported her parents. She took advantage of that by always parking in the handicapped spaces at work so she could arrive right before starting time and be assured a parking spot at a hospital, none the less.

She got reported and had the nerve to b-itch about it, saying people should mind their own business.  Just one of many ways she used the system.

[Caligurll]

Yes.  I have a friend/former coworker whose husband was disabled and entitled to disabled license plates on both of their vehicles.  Her husband passed away a few years ago but I had noticed the disabled plates were still on the cars.  I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asssumed she just had not had the chance to turn them in yet.  Unfortunately, she does in fact use them to park in handicapped spaces.  I've seen her do this on numerous occasions.  I've asked her about it and her response is "I only do it when there are other handicapped spaces available, I don't take the last one."  How does she know whag happens after she leaves her car???  I have totally lost respect for her.  I don't see her often anymore, and it has had a major impact on our friendship.  It is such a dishonest thing to do. 

[jubilant]

It is very necessary to draw boundary lines with these kind of people.  Some people are not good at putting out "no tresspassing" signs.   The toxic person is all over that.  They can smell you a mile away....so to speak. 

  You may think it is a loving thing to "put up with them" but actually it is the opposite of being loving.  It is telling them ....treat others and me anyway you want to a I will still accept you.  What is wrong with saying....you can't do that to me.  I don't hate you but I won't be friends with someone who is hateful and dishonest to others or to myself.  It may or may not help them but you have a heck of a lot better chance helping them that way than "encouraging" them to keep on doing what they're doing.  That is exactly what you do when you go along with narcissistic entiltled people who are gods unto themselves. In all honesty you hurt them more than you help them.

[NoelSeven]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Welcome to the entitlement age, where everybody feels entitled to have the world revolve around them, and to cater to their every whim and desire.

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Surely you don't really think that type of behavior has never been seen before?

[sfnative]

I have two people in my life: one who disgusts me and one who just thinks she won't get caught and I love her anyway.

The absolute #1 creep was the director of a non-profit to which I belonged for over 30 years.  As occurs in some organizations, many worshipped this woman and would never say "No" to a request.  Well, this woman was under a lot of pressure from the international organization to get her Ph.D., so she set about doing just that.  What none of us knew was that she didn't write one word of her thesis.  I found out because I went to a convention and roomed with a good friend.  On Friday night of this weekend convention, she seemed ill at ease, so I finally asked her if she was feeling alright or if something was bothering her.  She said, "I have to get this off my chest to someone and I want to trust you.  Please promise not to tell anyone - ever."  Which, of course, I did, until now, because I can do it anonymously.  This director came to my friend and asked her to write her thesis, because she knew that given her schedule and skill level, she simply couldn't do it.  My friend said yes.  Down the line, the thesis was submitted and accepted.  Then came time for the director's orals.  HA!  She failed and so did not earn her Ph.D. Karma, baby, karma!

The second instance was my uber wealthy friend who, having a fear of flying, had driven across country in her Jag to Philadelphia for a convention.  We all met up one evening for dinner in the oldest restaurant in Philadelphia.  What a great evening we had!  Next day Ellen told every one that her Jag had been towed, so I asked, "OK, Ellen, where did you park it THIS time?" And she said, "Well, we were running late, so I parked it in front of a fire hydrant."  "Ellen - Duh."

[Puzzle Piece]

Yes, I've ment folks like those mentioned.  I get away from them.  They are dishonest and would throw you under the bus in a second and not think twice about it if it meant they got what they wanted. 

One gal was a wife of a Superior Court judge who would speed, run red lights and stop signs, parking issues, on and on.  She would say, "I'm married to a judge and he will get me off". 

I think those are dangerous people maybe even sociopathic in ways. 

[NycVixen]

I know several people like this. Some are in my family. It's had to finally accept that your loved ones may not be the people you thought they were as you get older. I find that the demands for special privileges never cease but increase significantly over time.

 @house_cat It may be wise to evaluate your friendship with your said friend. In my experience, these type of individuals ultimately tend to bleed those around them dry for their benefit. They almost never give what they receive and the day you say "No", they become infuriated and act like you betrayed them or something. I decided to cut these people from my life regardless of who they are.

They usually do not possess good will towards others, have a bad vibe and don't really contribute much to the relationship. It's like what my mother said when she divorced my father; he refused to look after his own kids, do any housework, go to the supermarket, wanted my mother's paycheck etc. My mom simply realized what good is he, she's basically doing literally everything herself so it's like he doesn't even exist. I don't have the time or the will to cater to anyone that is self serving at this point in my life.