Community Chat

[151949]

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

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With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

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👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

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If you don't say NO then you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Period. He neither molested, or harrassed or raped you. YOU ALLOWED IT - YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BELIEVE IT WAS OK WITH YOU. Be an adult and take responsibility for yourself.

[Oznell]

I've lost track of all the posts, that every aspect of this topic always seems to bring out, but @SusieQ_2 and @momtochloe you are exemplary in working out possibly differing points of view in such a mature and considerate way.  Makes me so happy to see. 

[occasionalrain]

There is a reason for the Statute of Limitation and for innocent until proven guilty. A pattern is not proof, gossip forms a pattern.

The accusers should have come forward at the time while memory and evidence of both guilt and innocence was fresh. Now it's revenge served cold.

[momtochloe]

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@151949 wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

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With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

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👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

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If you don't say NO then you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Period. He neither molested, or harrassed or raped you. YOU ALLOWED IT - YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BELIEVE IT WAS OK WITH YOU. Take responsibility for yourself.

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@151949 I truly don't want to argue with you about this but I am baffled that you don't allow that there are women that are forced into positions that they literally cannot say no.

I totally get that as a nurse you were probably harassed as times but you also knew you could take your skills elsewhere and away from the person that may have been bothering you.  Many, many people do not have that option.  I have worked with them when interacting with them in the temporary jobs I have been working at.  It is staggering what their quality of life is on a daily basis.

[151949]

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

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With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

---

👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

---

If you don't say NO then you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Period. He neither molested, or harrassed or raped you. YOU ALLOWED IT - YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BELIEVE IT WAS OK WITH YOU. Take responsibility for yourself.

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@151949 I truly don't want to argue with you about this but I am baffled that you don't allow that there are women that are forced into positions that they literally cannot say no.

I totally get that as a nurse you were probably harassed as times but you also knew you could take your skills elsewhere and away from the person that may have been bothering you.  Many, many people do not have that option.  I have worked with them when interacting with them in the temporary jobs I have been working at.  It is staggering what their quality of life is on a daily basis.

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I once had to walk away from a job because the manager took me in his office to "talk" to me. I told him no - he said your fired . I left immediately and when I got home I called him & told him I would be applying for unemployment & if he denied it or gave me a bad reference I'd tell what he did. He believed me. When the HR department called to do an over the phone exit interview I told them what he did.I heard he got fired. Men count on women being weak - & if you are too weak to stand up for yourself you will be a victim forever.

[puttypiesmom]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

There is a reason for the Statute of Limitation and for innocent until proven guilty. A pattern is not proof, gossip forms a pattern.

The accusers should have come forward at the time while memory and evidence of both guilt and innocence was fresh. Now it's revenge served cold.

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I do agree with you but in their line of work actresses get labeled "difficult" and suddenly find it impossible to find work.  When your livelihood is on the line and you are the sole support for that roof over your head I can understand not wanting to say anything.  I think some of these actresses are in a better place financially and find it easier to accuse these people now.  

[momtochloe]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

There is a reason for the Statute of Limitation and for innocent until proven guilty. A pattern is not proof, gossip forms a pattern.

The accusers should have come forward at the time while memory and evidence of both guilt and innocence was fresh. Now it's revenge served cold.

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With all due respect NO.  The majority of the allegations that are pouring out are not disgruntled employees or discarded paramours that have a grudge.  These are people that have been abused by systems that have been in place for far too long.  It is my most fervent hope that the turmoil that we are experiencing now will do some good using the systems that are in place to their fullest.

[momtochloe]

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@151949 wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

---

With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

---

👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

---

If you don't say NO then you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Period. He neither molested, or harrassed or raped you. YOU ALLOWED IT - YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BELIEVE IT WAS OK WITH YOU. Take responsibility for yourself.

---

@151949 I truly don't want to argue with you about this but I am baffled that you don't allow that there are women that are forced into positions that they literally cannot say no.

I totally get that as a nurse you were probably harassed as times but you also knew you could take your skills elsewhere and away from the person that may have been bothering you.  Many, many people do not have that option.  I have worked with them when interacting with them in the temporary jobs I have been working at.  It is staggering what their quality of life is on a daily basis.

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I once had to walk away from a job because the manager took me in his office to "talk" to me. I told him no - he said your fired . I left immediately and when I got home I called him & told him I would be applying for unemployment & if he denied it or gave me a bad reference I'd tell what he did. He believed me. When the HR department called to do an over the phone exit interview I told them what he did.I heard he got fired. Men count on women being weak - & if you are too weak to stand up for yourself you will be a victim forever.

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But help me understand here @151949 were you able to walk away from this job because you had a financial safety net behind you?  So many people especially these days do not have that option.

[proudlyfromNJ]

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@fordtruck wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

There is a reason for the Statute of Limitation and for innocent until proven guilty. A pattern is not proof, gossip forms a pattern.

The accusers should have come forward at the time while memory and evidence of both guilt and innocence was fresh. Now it's revenge served cold.

---

I do agree with you but in their line of work actresses get labeled "difficult" and suddenly find it impossible to find work.  When your livelihood is on the line and you are the sole support for that roof over your head I can understand not wanting to say anything.  I think some of these actresses are in a better place financially and find it easier to accuse these people now.  

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@puttypiesmom.  This is what no one understands. You get educated, you have goals, you find a job in that area that pays good money and your CAREER begins. Then some slime buckets start in on you. SO.....You have to quit your job, sacrifice your career because of them? Instead of him being held accountable, you need to start over, find a new job and career and he sits back and laughs and continues. Ok then.

[151949]

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

---

With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

---

👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

---

If you don't say NO then you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Period. He neither molested, or harrassed or raped you. YOU ALLOWED IT - YOU ALLOWED HIM TO BELIEVE IT WAS OK WITH YOU. Take responsibility for yourself.

---

@151949 I truly don't want to argue with you about this but I am baffled that you don't allow that there are women that are forced into positions that they literally cannot say no.

I totally get that as a nurse you were probably harassed as times but you also knew you could take your skills elsewhere and away from the person that may have been bothering you.  Many, many people do not have that option.  I have worked with them when interacting with them in the temporary jobs I have been working at.  It is staggering what their quality of life is on a daily basis.

---

I once had to walk away from a job because the manager took me in his office to "talk" to me. I told him no - he said your fired . I left immediately and when I got home I called him & told him I would be applying for unemployment & if he denied it or gave me a bad reference I'd tell what he did. He believed me. When the HR department called to do an over the phone exit interview I told them what he did.I heard he got fired. Men count on women being weak - & if you are too weak to stand up for yourself you will be a victim forever.

---

But help me understand here @151949 were you able to walk away from this job because you had a financial safety net behind you?  So many people especially these days do not have that option.

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NO at that time , as a matter of fact , I was in a very bad place financially. My husband had died , I had his 2 children to raise, debts I could not pay without my DH's income and I owed the hospital $83,000. I walked away from that job because I would not allow anyone to treat me as that man did. He only did it because I had let it be known how desparately I needed a job, so he assumed I would do what he told me to do. I guickly found another job.