Community Chat

[dooBdoo]

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tansy wrote:

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dooBdoo wrote:

            General comment:   The topic of sexual abuse, harassment, accusations, trauma and long-term damage, etc.,  is so very worth discussion, and there's so much for all of us to learn, yet I keep seeing people using it as an excuse to post partisan political comments or to bash and trash media outlets they don't like.   That's sad, since it limits and colors our abilty to objectively exchange ideas and experience about the actual topic -- which is not politics or our favorite or our most-disliked media outlets.   At this point, I'm thinking the standards need to be updated and a "let's talk politics" sub-forum can be added.   The highly-charged political (often partisan) threads and posts have been so numerous and the moderation of them so confusing that I've only replied to a few.   It's not really worth the time since I genuinely don't know what's expected of us these days.   

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Oh, @dooBdoo.  I mentioned the other night that it looked like I needed to add this forum to my bookmarked political sites.  The mods need to come to a decision as to what’s allowed and be consistent.

BTW:  The whole thread disappeared shortly after my comment.

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            I agree, @tansy.   Just as an example, so much of this thread is clearly political -- some of it is a duplication of what was deleted previously.    Yet several other threads have been removed as political while this one chugs along.   Moderating a forum is no picnic...   but in this case I think we're getting a mixed message.   I'd really love to know the answer because there are plenty of political comments I'd like to offer...  

[tansy]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@tansy wrote:

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@dooBdoo wrote:

            General comment:   The topic of sexual abuse, harassment, accusations, trauma and long-term damage, etc.,  is so very worth discussion, and there's so much for all of us to learn, yet I keep seeing people using it as an excuse to post partisan political comments or to bash and trash media outlets they don't like.   That's sad, since it limits and colors our abilty to objectively exchange ideas and experience about the actual topic -- which is not politics or our favorite or our most-disliked media outlets.   At this point, I'm thinking the standards need to be updated and a "let's talk politics" sub-forum can be added.   The highly-charged political (often partisan) threads and posts have been so numerous and the moderation of them so confusing that I've only replied to a few.   It's not really worth the time since I genuinely don't know what's expected of us these days.   

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Oh, @dooBdoo.  I mentioned the other night that it looked like I needed to add this forum to my bookmarked political sites.  The mods need to come to a decision as to what’s allowed and be consistent.

BTW:  The whole thread disappeared shortly after my comment.

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            I agree, @tansy.   Just as an example, so much of this thread is clearly political -- some of it is a duplication of what was deleted previously.    Yet several other threads have been removed as political while this one chugs along.   Moderating a forum is no picnic...   but in this case I think we're getting a mixed message.   I'd really love to know the answer because there are plenty of political comments I'd like to offer...  

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I have plenty to say.  I’m biting my tongue😝

[suzyQ3]

Got it, other Suzy, a.k.a., @SusieQ_2

[momtochloe]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

I have a hard time resisting chocolate. It tempts me all day in the stores, in ads, at parties, in vending machines. Chocolate is so decadent, so enjoyable, so satisfying.

If I make the bad decision to eat it all day and gain so much weight I can't fit into my clothes is my fault or can I blame the candy company? After all, they prey on my weakness.

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@SusieQ_2, could you please spell out what you're saying?

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@suzyQ3

Hello to another Suzy! Sure, what I was replying to was the comment that "many young women would have a had time resisting the President of the United States ."

It was a discussion about whether or not a person would consider Monica Lewinsky a victim. You can probably tell by my comment that I do not.

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And I guess I would ask as a courtesy @SusieQ_2 that you would notify me of your objection to my post which you did not.  I have a severe problem with men in a position of power preying on young, vulnerable young woman as both WJC and RM have done.  Good for you that you think you would have had the fortitude to stand up to these powerful men in your most vulnerable years.  I don't believe a word of it and shame on you for casting aspersions on those that were preyed upon and unnecessarily felt guilt and shame for all these years.

[cherry]

@dooBdoo  They used to have a political forum called World News and Views

I never had problems there, because I am not a member of either party. But it became a free for all and they closed it

I had the only thread .and the longest running one, in the history of Q ,called under  Cherry's Tree. It was non political

It was never trolled either. It was a neutral corner people could read ,when they needed a bit of peace and time out

A dear old friend ,and poster called Zacca, posted about it being Q's longest running thread, when they closed that board down

[dooBdoo]

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cherry wrote:

@dooBdoo  They used to have a political forum called World News and Views

I never had problems there, because I am not a member of either party. But it became a free for all and they closed it

I had the only thread .and the longest running one, in the history of Q ,called under  Cherry's Tree. It was non political

It was never trolled either. It was a neutral corner people could read ,when they needed a bit of peace and time out

A dear old friend ,and poster called Zacca, posted about it being Q's longest running thread, when they closed that board down

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            Thanks for posting that background, @cherry.    I wish I had been here in those days.    I can tell, from the accounts I've read, that many exceptional friendships were created, nourished, and cherished as an outgrowth of the environment back then.❤️

[trenet]

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@Hippiified wrote:

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

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@151949

Well, many of us know how to say "no thanks" .... but that's ONLY effective if the man is a gentleman and will take no for an answer.   That's not what's happened in most cases in the news.

What about the predators who don't take no for an answer, and are detemined to have their way with a woman when she's definitely NOT interested?

Clearly, it's not rape or sexual assault if the activity was CONSENSUAL.      

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@Tinkrbl44

Well said!  Thank you.  

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Sometimes when “NO” isn’t being accepted - more drastic measures might be needed.  A swift kick to the patooties or grab and twist in the opposite directions would be satisfying. 

It doesn’t always work, especially with the predators who use drugs but, if possible, definitely worth the attempt.

[cherry]

That board was rock em sock em, but there were fine women posting there

We have sadly lost some of them , and others just disappeared. I really liked them all. I didn't always agree with either side, but I always listened to them, and I refused to fight over  an opinion, nor would I be swayed when I felt  strongly about something

[SusieQ_2]

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

I have a hard time resisting chocolate. It tempts me all day in the stores, in ads, at parties, in vending machines. Chocolate is so decadent, so enjoyable, so satisfying.

If I make the bad decision to eat it all day and gain so much weight I can't fit into my clothes is my fault or can I blame the candy company? After all, they prey on my weakness.

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@SusieQ_2, could you please spell out what you're saying?

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@suzyQ3

Hello to another Suzy! Sure, what I was replying to was the comment that "many young women would have a had time resisting the President of the United States ."

It was a discussion about whether or not a person would consider Monica Lewinsky a victim. You can probably tell by my comment that I do not.

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And I guess I would ask as a courtesy @SusieQ_2 that you would notify me of your objection to my post which you did not.  I have a severe problem with men in a position of power preying on young, vulnerable young woman as both WJC and RM have done.  Good for you that you think you would have had the fortitude to stand up to these powerful men in your most vulnerable years.  I don't believe a word of it and shame on you for casting aspersions on those that were preyed upon and unnecessarily felt guilt and shame for all these years.

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@momtochloe, Wow, I came close to apologizing for having not notified you that I disagreed with what you wrote although I didn't realize that was "a thing." I didn't call you out or even use your name, but now, after reading your nasty comment, my reply is that I'm not sorry in the least.

Nor am I sorry for expecting women to take responsibility for their own actions and behavior and shame on you for giving them a free pass on morality. There are many, many women who would never have considered an adulterous relationship regardless of the party involved. So you go ahead and pat them on the back and tell them it's okay. I'm sticking on the side of decency. 

[Annabellethecat66]

Well, I already posted here.  But I've been thinking about this.

As I said, I have 3 daughters (now 44, 42 and 37).  They went through college and some grad school.  We (it affects the entire family) went through some terrible times because of (let's call them situations).  Each one was different, some much worse than another, but they all affected the family.

What one daughter shrugged off, another daughter was devastated and quit her job.  My middle daughter is one tough cookie when it comes to handling males.  She takes no prisoners.  Tells them where to go and reports them and so on.

The oldest was more serious and lost time from school.  The youngest quit her job and stayed out of work for a few months to find the right job and moved back home.

My point is people handle things differently.  Some things affect some different from others.  I don't think it's for any of us to judge these women.

I'm more 'old school' and at my age I've been pinched, insulted and so on.  When I was growing up I had an Uncle......well, it was pretty bad but I kept my mouth shut and he eventually died.  My Dad would have killed him.  He was married to my Dad's sister.

Anyway, if I'm honest I will say I think some of these accusations should need to be proven.  Anyone can say anything anymore and these people have lost their entire lives.  It's not just the men but their entire families.

If you sit back and pay attention often the wives will have known what was going on and it won't be long before their wives have divorced them (the guilty one's).  It's as if they're saying, "I'm vindicated.  It's given me the strength to kick him out".  For this I say, "Good for them".  

We can all sit back and say we'd do this or that, but unless we're really tested we don't truly know the truth.

I do think it's going to affect women trying to get promoted and many men will think twice of being alone with a woman.  You can say, right on!  But again, each person must decide what's best for them (and their families).

I think (unfortunately) it's always been a man's world and (unfortunately) I think it will not change that much.  I think it's male ego (and I often blame their mom's).

My daughter's used to say when they had boys they were going to raise them so that when they married their wives would come to them and tell them what awesome men they raised.  That their men would be able to cook, clean and do everything the woman does.

Well, only one daughter had 2 boys and (while I love them and their mother dearly) I'll just say I'm hopeful, but.....

Now she did marry an amazing man who does all the things mentioned, but she still complains about him.  I often remind her of our conversations.....she just smiles and says, "Yes, mom, I remember.......