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Esteemed Contributor
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I have attended a bridal luncheon -- a separate occasion from bridal showers.  It was a lovely event held at a restaurant on the water.  If I recall, there were probably 18 of us in attendance.  The bride hosted and paid for the entire event, but it was not a venue to thank bridesmaids with gifts.  That was done at the groom's dinner.  I did bring a small gift, but something I knew the bride would love.  

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Re: Bridal Lunch Etiquette

[ Edited ]

Folks now-a-days sure have a lot of extra money to throw around...............Interesting.   (In general.  Some actually have bridesmaids parties via flying to places such as 'Vegas', etc. I hear about lots of money-spending regarding pre-wedding events, in addition to receptions.  It's become a real trend in many places.) 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
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spid: I SO agree with you! NO gift.

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@ROMARY wrote:

Folks now-a-days sure have a lot of extra money to throw around...............Interesting.


I do not think it is the case of having a lot of extra money to throw around.  It is a way of saying thank you to guests who are traveling a distance and may be staying in a strange (to them) city with nothing to do. 

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Re: Bridal Lunch Etiquette

[ Edited ]

@chrystaltree wrote:

Bridal luncheons aren't new, they are an old wedding tradition.  No gift is required. 

 

Bridal or bridesmaids' luncheons are intimate gatherings, generally hosted by the bride's attendants or by the bride and her mother. These all-female gatherings are held to thank the bridesmaids, and will usually be a day or two before the wedding day. In terms of formal bridal luncheon etiquette, it doesn't necessarily have to be a lunch party, it could also be afternoon tea, a cocktail party, brunch or dinner.

 

 They haven't changed over the years but it's now become customary for the bride to also invite women she's particularly close to. 


As a Southerner this is what I'm familiar with.  It's an event 'for the girls' usually hosted by the Bride and her Mom for female attendants and special women in the Bride's life, just a way to thank and recognize everyone.  More casual, no gifting expected.  To me it's a sweet tradition.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
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I have heard of Bridal lunches being given by the bride to thank her bridesmaids and give them their gifts.  The only invitees were the female wedding party members, mother and grandmother of the bride and any other special individuals who provided special unpaid service to the bride.  For example someone who is a friend who is singing at the wedding or someone who did the calligraphy for the wedding invites as a gift to the bride.  I have never heard of just inviting other woman except for those mentioned.

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I have been to many. JJ, you need to ask your friend about this because they are done differently. I am sure your friend would want you to be comfortable with this.  Some people keep it as a simple celebration for all the work and planning that went into planning the wedding. Sometimes the bride gifts the bridesmaids then.

 

One I went to had a spa time for people to have spa treatment if they wanted , a boat ride and a great meal.

 

 

One  we celebrated with a train ride on a steam engine throught the mountains.

 

 

One we went white water rafting and celebrated with a great meal at the end.

 

I could gop on and on. One common thing was that it was THE time for the daughter to thank her mother for all of the gifts and life lessons that she had shared. They had to give meaning in a poem, song, letter ... It could not be just a gift and thanks. It was aometimes like an emotional cleansing. 

 

I still remember a lot about the bridal luncheons and not so much about all the showers.

 

 

doxie

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@151949 wrote:

@Silver Lining wrote:

@151949 wrote:

I was in a formal wedding once and the afternoon before the wedding the bride had a luncheon for the attendants , her mother and grandmother were there, the mom of the flower girl and ring bearer. No gifts were given to the bride but she gave gifts to all the attendants. In this case they were a little purse that matched our dresses and inside was a pair of earrings. It was at a country club and all very formal. Then after that we met our husbands and went on to the rehearsal and that dinner. 

Funny thing at that wedding - we were all given a box with earrings, bracelet and a decorated with gemstones barrette to wear for the wedding and told that we had to return them to the brides mother the day after the wedding so they could be returned to the jeweler. I thought this was pretty tacky so before we left the reception all of us walked over to her Mom and stripped ourselves of the jewelry - leaving it on a pile on the table in front of her.


 

 

It was to be worn for decorative purposes and was on loan from a jeweler, a fact you were told or you wouldn't have known to give them to the bride's mother to return. 


 

 

Or they were purchased from a jeweler and he had no idea that the week after the wedding he was going to have a dozen returned earrings, bracelets and barretts. Which I'm thinking was more likely. Why would a jeweler want to be stuck with 12 of the exact same set.


I think that Silver Lining's more positive scenario is far more likely than that the family purchased all these items and then returned them the next week. Perhaps the family had a favorite jeweler or a friend or relative in the business. 

 

 


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Gifting from the Bride / Mom  to her guests is common in the Bridal Lunches I have experienced.

 

Can be a big thing, such as a SPA day, or Pedicures for all, but one a Bride gave each of us a 'full' champagne flute which she had etched with a personal remark and our name.  I still have mine.  She was a particularly talented Bride, but just a personal token is usual.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
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You're


@lulu2 wrote:

@ROMARY wrote:

Folks now-a-days sure have a lot of extra money to throw around...............Interesting.


I do not think it is the case of having a lot of extra money to throw around.  It is a way of saying thank you to guests who are traveling a distance and may be staying in a strange (to them) city with nothing to do. 


=======================================  Absolutely right. (I edited) I was just referring to others' comments and to the trends now-a-days of expensive pre-wedding events.  It is always nice to thank the bridesmaids and out-of town guests.  I always say that if they have the money, why not? 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).