Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,379
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

The party is being thrown by the bride's aunt, and the invitation says it is to honor the bride AND bridesmaids. That is what made me think guests had to bring gifts. It sounds like it is usually meant to honor the bridesmaids only.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I was in a formal wedding once and the afternoon before the wedding the bride had a luncheon for the attendants , her mother and grandmother were there, the mom of the flower girl and ring bearer. No gifts were given to the bride but she gave gifts to all the attendants. In this case they were a little purse that matched our dresses and inside was a pair of earrings. It was at a country club and all very formal. Then after that we met our husbands and went on to the rehearsal and that dinner. 

Funny thing at that wedding - we were all given a box with earrings, bracelet and a decorated with gemstones barrette to wear for the wedding and told that we had to return them to the brides mother the day after the wedding so they could be returned to the jeweler. I thought this was pretty tacky so before we left the reception all of us walked over to her Mom and stripped ourselves of the jewelry - leaving it on a pile on the table in front of her.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,798
Registered: ‎03-28-2015

@151949 wrote:

I was in a formal wedding once and the afternoon before the wedding the bride had a luncheon for the attendants , her mother and grandmother were there, the mom of the flower girl and ring bearer. No gifts were given to the bride but she gave gifts to all the attendants. In this case they were a little purse that matched our dresses and inside was a pair of earrings. It was at a country club and all very formal. Then after that we met our husbands and went on to the rehearsal and that dinner. 

Funny thing at that wedding - we were all given a box with earrings, bracelet and a decorated with gemstones barrette to wear for the wedding and told that we had to return them to the brides mother the day after the wedding so they could be returned to the jeweler. I thought this was pretty tacky so before we left the reception all of us walked over to her Mom and stripped ourselves of the jewelry - leaving it on a pile on the table in front of her.


Boy...that was tacky in my book too...

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,379
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

That's tacky, 151949!

 

Thanks for all of your responses. It sounds like no gift is necessary.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,151
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

@151949 wrote:

I was in a formal wedding once and the afternoon before the wedding the bride had a luncheon for the attendants , her mother and grandmother were there, the mom of the flower girl and ring bearer. No gifts were given to the bride but she gave gifts to all the attendants. In this case they were a little purse that matched our dresses and inside was a pair of earrings. It was at a country club and all very formal. Then after that we met our husbands and went on to the rehearsal and that dinner. 

Funny thing at that wedding - we were all given a box with earrings, bracelet and a decorated with gemstones barrette to wear for the wedding and told that we had to return them to the brides mother the day after the wedding so they could be returned to the jeweler. I thought this was pretty tacky so before we left the reception all of us walked over to her Mom and stripped ourselves of the jewelry - leaving it on a pile on the table in front of her.


 

 

It was to be worn for decorative purposes and was on loan from a jeweler, a fact you were told or you wouldn't have known to give them to the bride's mother to return. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,955
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I'm not from that region of the country either, so I hadn't heard of this.

 

It seems like the invitees would just be the bridal party, though.  Otherwise, you are inviting a bunch of other people (not sure how that is determined) and they get to sit around watching the bride give gifts to her wedding party.

 

Who pays for this shindig?  The bride/parents?  

 

It just really sounds, to me, like something for ONLY her bridal party not all the wedding guests.    But then, I'm clueless on this anyway, never having even heard of it.  I'm just going on the logical thoughts that come to my mind.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,698
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I have never heard of such a thing.  I have attended a bridal tea which was really kind of stupid if you ask me.  Basically what it turned into was her personal shower so everyone brought gifts of lingerie, bath & body products, etc. 

 

I don't know why outside guests would be invited to honor the bride and bridesmaids.  Isn't the wedding to honor the bride and groom?  Or her shower?  How much honoring are you supposed to do?  LOL

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,420
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

There was a time these luncheons were for the bridal party and mothers.  It was when the bride gave gifts to her attendants (and some gave them to the mothers)

 

The last few weddings we've attended because almost everyone traveled a distance, the bridal luncheon (or brunch) included female family members or close friends who were staying at the hotel. There was a golf outing for the men, while the ladies ate and drank mimosas.  In all honesty, I would have preferred to sleep in.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,747
Registered: ‎01-02-2011

Your last sentence made me laugh -- me, too, regarding sleeping in.

 

It sounds like JJsMom has more than fulfilled her obligation regarding the wedding festivities.  

 

******


@lulu2 wrote:

There was a time these luncheons were for the bridal party and mothers.  It was when the bride gave gifts to her attendants (and some gave them to the mothers)

 

The last few weddings we've attended because almost everyone traveled a distance, the bridal luncheon (or brunch) included female family members or close friends who were staying at the hotel. There was a golf outing for the men, while the ladies ate and drank mimosas.  In all honesty, I would have preferred to sleep in.


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Silver Lining wrote:

@151949 wrote:

I was in a formal wedding once and the afternoon before the wedding the bride had a luncheon for the attendants , her mother and grandmother were there, the mom of the flower girl and ring bearer. No gifts were given to the bride but she gave gifts to all the attendants. In this case they were a little purse that matched our dresses and inside was a pair of earrings. It was at a country club and all very formal. Then after that we met our husbands and went on to the rehearsal and that dinner. 

Funny thing at that wedding - we were all given a box with earrings, bracelet and a decorated with gemstones barrette to wear for the wedding and told that we had to return them to the brides mother the day after the wedding so they could be returned to the jeweler. I thought this was pretty tacky so before we left the reception all of us walked over to her Mom and stripped ourselves of the jewelry - leaving it on a pile on the table in front of her.


 

 

It was to be worn for decorative purposes and was on loan from a jeweler, a fact you were told or you wouldn't have known to give them to the bride's mother to return. 


 

 

Or they were purchased from a jeweler and he had no idea that the week after the wedding he was going to have a dozen returned earrings, bracelets and barretts. Which I'm thinking was more likely. Why would a jeweler want to be stuck with 12 of the exact same set.