Break up heart break - Page 5

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
They're not married, not even engaged, not living together, not a long tem relationship.

I also got the impression this wasn't a committed relationship .... just dating.

I feel sorry for this young lady, but the truth is this is not her last heartbreak. It goes with the dating territory. Sometimes she will be the one who breaks someone's heart. It is what it is.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@deedledeedeedle wrote:
To those who tried to blow this off with the she's too young, she wasn't married, etc, that is shameful. Heartbreak in love is horrible, and we've all been there, most likely. Unfortunately, it's a life lesson that we hope our (grand)children never have to go through, but they usually do. She will open up when she feels better. In my day it required solitude in my bedroom, headphones on, listening to sad breakup songs and crying. Oh, yeah, and ripping up every single thing that reminded me of him. It sounds silly, but I felt better doing it. LOL

dee

@deedledeedeedle

I don't see anything "shameful" in telling the truth .... she IS young, and I seriously doubt this was "love". It was merely a dating relationship that was going well .... until it wasn't.

Truth is, if he felt she was someone very, very special in his life and future, he wouldn't have been with someone else. I'm not even sure we can call this "cheating" ..... does anyone even know if it was an exclusive relationship?

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

This has been going on since time immemorial. We've all got stories like this.

She'll meet a great guy one day.

Ever hear of the saying: You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the handsome prince?

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

lulu2 · ‎03-09-2010

It's a blessing in disguise. She is off to her first year of college. It's best to be footloose and fancy free. No one cheats just once.

Sorry @Shorty2U, I'd be mortified if I thought my grandmother was discussing my love life on a chat board.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person. This denigration of the young man is unfair. This girl doesn't own him anymore than he owns her. Why shouldn't date someone while he was awa on vacation. I'd sooner fault his friend the informer. It was none of his business.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@NycVixen wrote:
I know the type of guy she was dating because I go to school with them. Very entitled. I'm glad I'm married. A few sent me anonymous invites to connect on a dating site only for people in certain schools. I'm not sure if they knew I was married but I wear my ring set every day.

As a millenial, this is the new normal. It will be difficult to find a mate in this hook up type of environment. My advice would be for your granddaughter to remain friends with the young men she may be interested in for some time before she begins dating them. That is what I did; I met my husband at school. But I became his friend first for a while so I can get to know him.

In other words, she shouldn't get to know them when she is dating them. She should just let things happen naturally. It doesn't matter if the person goes to an ivy league school for the most part. I began in community college and I don't think I'm a better person now.

The key is to focus on being with someone who is intelligent but more importantly someone who is kind. It's hard to hide unkindness for a long time. I agree she should focus on her studies. That is what I did and the right guy eventually came along.

As women, we focus too much on our relationships. She should be her priority and soon enough someone she has gotten to know as a friend might be the one. By that time she will have a good sense if he's a good person, if he is intelligent etc. and the transition will be seamless. He will already have feelings and vice versa and the relationship won't be based merely on looks, schools etc.

@NycVixen The part I bolded and underlined...is there a typo in there or is "shouldn't get to know them" millenial speak for "shouldn't have sex"?

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

Thank you so much for the replies.

They met in the beginning of February and were exclusive by the beginning of March. I should have said that. So they were only seeing each other and "no one else" I guess what we would have called going steady. No its not long but it still hurts.

Anyway, I called and she didn't answer so I left her a nice message and she called me back.

She went the next day to lunch with her work friend and then she went and had a complete hairstyle make over.

He did not bring her stuff back yet, he is doing it Wednesday now. He asked to be friends and she said no she cant, he should have thought of that before he cheated.

So at least she is not dwelling in her room anymore and is out doing things even though she is still hurting.

PS I know his college is Ivy LEAGUE (not leaf). I thought of the type O I made after i Was in bed but thanks for pointing that out! lol.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
They're not married, not even engaged, not living together, not a long tem relationship.

*********** I think the fact that they had dated for several months and his own words "that it was a mistake" may have implied he knew they were dating exclusively and that he had given her that impression. Just the way I took it.