Community Chat

[scotnovel]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Allegheny wrote:

Interesting topic.

There are three of us raised by the same parents.  

I have personality traits mostly the same as my mother, and others characteristics similar to my father.  Where as my brother has just the opposite of me, his personality leans more towards that of my father, but has many distinct aspects identical to my mother.

Now my sister, I have no idea who she is.  I see very little of either my mother or father in her personality.

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@Allegheny, I wonder - what determines who we take after? Our gender? The "strength" of the trait? And as you say, there are those who seem like neither parent. And there are those who are a perfect mix of both. Wonder what decides all this, from a scientific POV.

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I don't think it is our gender. My personality is almost identical to my dad's and only one sister is like my mom.  My other two siblings aren't even close to either my mom or dad. 

[Noel7]

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@scotnovel wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Allegheny wrote:

Interesting topic.

There are three of us raised by the same parents.  

I have personality traits mostly the same as my mother, and others characteristics similar to my father.  Where as my brother has just the opposite of me, his personality leans more towards that of my father, but has many distinct aspects identical to my mother.

Now my sister, I have no idea who she is.  I see very little of either my mother or father in her personality.

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@Allegheny, I wonder - what determines who we take after? Our gender? The "strength" of the trait? And as you say, there are those who seem like neither parent. And there are those who are a perfect mix of both. Wonder what decides all this, from a scientific POV.

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I don't think it is our gender. My personality is almost identical to my dad's and only one sister is like my mom.  My other two siblings aren't even close to either my mom or dad. 

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It's how the genetics play out.  No two non-identical twin siblings will be the same.

[Moonchilde]

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@scotnovel wrote:

I think it is both nature and nuture.  It may seem that kids raised under what appear to be the same circumstance should be more similar because they get the same nuturing but that certainly isn't true in my family.  There were 4 kids with significant years between each of us and our mother clearly favored one child and our father clearly favored a different child.  Also because of the big age difference (over 15 years between the oldest and the youngest) our parent's circumstances and experiences were significantly different.  They had more disposable income when the last two came along so less stress and also parenting theories changed a lot  between 1945 and 1961 (first and last births).  The two oldest were influenced/nutured more by grandparents who were aging by the time the last two came along.  Because of what I personally experienced growing up in that household, I know that it may have looked like we all were a big happy family with all the same nuturing, that was not true at all.  Consequently the four of us have completely different personalities, different levels of success in our adult lives and marriages/relationships, etc. 

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That's how it was with my sister's children. There were slso big differences between my childhood and my sister's. But neither were happy, just different.

[Moonchilde]

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@Burnsite wrote:

Interesting issue.  I am sure it is a mix of nature and nurture. 

I just wanted to add, though, that my mother had six children and she said each and every one of us was the person we came to be from day one, minute one.  She said none of us changed a particle.  It was amazing to her, as she figured the temperaments of her children would at least be similar--but they weren't.

ETA:  I have two handwritings--one looks like my Mother's, but once in a while my hand, esp. in my signature, looks exactly like my Dad's.

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I think it's a mix too, but more than 20%.  Or it may be 20% in some and 50-60% in others. No one really knows.

I have changed very little from childhood, despite the push from others to do so. I have adapted and compensated, as we all do, but not changed deep down.

[Citrine1]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

@Annabellethecat66, my mom didn't judge me per se, she just felt I was clueless and that I needed solutions to everything I discussed. I just needed a sounding board, and maybe an opinion here and there. She got better, though ;-)

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Oh my gosh, @Moonchilde, what an eye opener this and your other post are to me.  I treat my daughter exactly the same way as your mother treated you.  I feel like I need to "fix" everything that goes wrong in her life.  And, believe me, plenty goes wrong.  It's never ending.  I hope I've learned something here.  

[Citrine1]

As far as personality goes, and many traits, I am my father's daughter.  And, yes, I was born that way!  Proud of it too.  My father was a wonderful and honorable man.  

Edited to add:  I'm not wonderful, but I am honorable.  LOL

[Moonchilde]

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@Citrine1 wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

@Annabellethecat66, my mom didn't judge me per se, she just felt I was clueless and that I needed solutions to everything I discussed. I just needed a sounding board, and maybe an opinion here and there. She got better, though ;-)

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Oh my gosh, @Moonchilde, what an eye opener this and your other post are to me.  I treat my daughter exactly the same way as your mother treated you.  I feel like I need to "fix" everything that goes wrong in her life.  And, believe me, plenty goes wrong.  It's never ending.  I hope I've learned something here.  

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@Citrine1, my mom meant well, but she came from a very different generation (she was almost 95 when she passed) and from a background and family that were the typical non-emotional, puritanical early American stock - mixed in with nouveau riche southerners - quite a combo!  She was rather hedonistic and "it's all about me" and I guess that's her father's genes as he was a party guy.

[Jacie]

Interesting.

I am always fascinated by the twin studies. Twins who did not grow up together and discovered later all the strange similarities they had even living apart for many years. They married people with the same names, had the same pets, named their children the same, worked in the same field etc.

How do you explain? Wonders of nature?

[Moonchilde]

@milkbone, I hear you. I have always been aware of how my upbringing has affected me, but I've never used it as an excuse, if that makes sense. 

[mousiegirl]

I have always believed that people and animals are born with their personalities.  Who they take after mostly depends on what they pick up by being around the parent(s).