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Valued Contributor
Posts: 949
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

[ Edited ]

@Mz iMac wrote:

Stop looking & "The One" will fall in your lap when you least expect it.


Not to be disagreeable but think that it is an overused statement. Most of the married people I know actively pursued someone and searched for a spouse. This may happen for some people but think most have to put some work into it. My mom also said something very wise "the one that falls into your lap may have planted themselves there". 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"


@Elvita wrote:

Did you ever stop to think you are better off without "the one?" Don't depend on another human being to complete you. Just saying.


 

 

I agree, but the o/p is desperate to get married and have kids. She has posted about her desperation quite a few times. She thinks that she is getting "old", and that her life will be meaningless without those things.

 

She's in a panic over turning 30, and is panicking over finding a man to have kids with.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"


@segrl21 wrote:

@Mz iMac wrote:

Stop looking & "The One" will fall in your lap when you least expect it.


Not to be disagreeable but think that it is an overused statement. Most of the married people I know actively pursued someone and searched for a spouse. This may happen for some people but think most have to put some work into it. My mom also said something very wise "the one that falls into your lap may have planted themselves there". 


 

I met my first husband when I answered an ad for a car he had for sale. I went to see it and he asked me if he could call me for a date. He was older than me and had custody of his kids so I hesitated but he was just so darn handsome and sexy - and he was from London. Anyway, I certainly did not have to "put any effort into meeting him" I didn't even buy the car he was selling.

Super Contributor
Posts: 303
Registered: ‎10-22-2015

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Super Contributor
daisyk
Posts: 493
Registered: ‎05-20-2011
 
Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

I remember reading a book by Sally Jesse Raphael back in the 80's

 

 

WOW.....I have not head that name in a long time !

Remember her TV show?

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." MLK
Super Contributor
Posts: 303
Registered: ‎10-22-2015

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

ooooooops

 

WOW.....I have not heard that name in a long time !

Remember her TV show?

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." MLK
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,030
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

I found a lot of "ones" and married a couple.   I think thinking that he will just happen in your life is about like thinking the perfect job will just happen.  You have to search for him.  I have found that no one person will satisfy all your needs.  You have to figure out what is most important and what is a deal breaker and go from there.  I know people who have found people on the dating sites but it took patience and being very careful.  I think it is important to have a good sense of humor and not take it all too seriously.  I always wanted to just meet Mr. Wonderful walking the dog or in church or in some accidental way but never happened.  I had to work for it. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,346
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

You need to get out of the house and enjoy life. No one is going to come knocking at your door while you're reading a book or waiting for a food delivery.


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,935
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

I agree.  Most of the comments and advice here are cliches.  I don't know of any books offhand, but if I come across any I will post here.  There are a few good dating advice sites.  There is one from Marni Battista called Dating with Dignity, and it also has a Facebook and Twitter page. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 575
Registered: ‎07-29-2013

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Enjoy your life as it is, have fun and when it is the right time to meet someone  you will. I don't believe that there is just one person for you. Focus on yourself and making your life better. It is better to wait to meet the right person, then settle for the wrong person.

 

I did not meet my significant other until I was 37 and I am perfectly fine.

Super Contributor
Posts: 482
Registered: ‎04-20-2010

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"


@DiscountDiva wrote:

I am 30 in less than 4 weeks! I know about the "The Rules". Anything else that you found helpful? TIA


 

I have been married three times...met each one differently.  Not sure if I'm the best one to give advice but here goes:

 

- Get out of the house - go to every event you are invited to, eve if you are not particulary interested...you might meet someone interesting - be open to new experiences - you just never know who you might meet and who they might introduce you to!!

 

- Check out MeetUp - it's an on line group for people to join depending upon their interests.

 

- Be interested in others

 

- Get involved in things you enjoy

 

- Go on-line - one of my stepsons met his wife playing a game on-line and a girlfriend met her significant other on-line as well - just be honest, be careful, and be open

 

- I married my 3rd and final husband at age 38 and had my one and only child at 39, so you still have time.

 

- cut out the desperation!  I know there is pressure when all your friends seem to have found love, but desperate people do desperate things...and that's when you can make a big mistake!

 

- become determined to love yourself and love your own company - chances are someone will come along who loves you too!!

 

Good luck!!