Community Chat

[shaina]

Today is my birthday. My husband didn't once ask me what I wanted to do, or what I wanted as a gift, or anything in the weeks leading up to today. This morning he goes out and comes back with a dozen red velvet cupcakes. I've never had red velvet in my life, bc I'm a picky eater and it doesn't seem appealing. I don't really care about cake, in general. Then he got me a gift card for Best Buy so I can buy the apple airpod wireless headphones when they come out. I guess we talked about how cool they are back when they were announced 2 months ago. I haven't said a word about them since, nor do I listen to a lot of music or use headphones often. On the gift card package he wrote " this isn't as lame as it looks." He said he felt bad bc he was hoping they would have released the headphones by now and that a gift card isn't the best present.

For his bday this year I took him to the store and let him pick out a chair/couch for Man cave. Then while he was out of town, I built a bookshelf for his record collection, moved all his records to it, then hung (drilled for the first time ever) display shelves and carefully chose his fave records to display. I also ordered a blanket/throw of his favorite footy all team for that room and had it thrown over the chair. He came home to this while I was at work.

I feel so let down. Like I worked so hard, and he did almost nothing and what he did do was like he hardly knows me. Am I being dramatic? Expecting too much? Thoughts?

[cherry]

Some people make more out of birthdays than others do. He probably thinks he did a great job because he remembered

[Mellie32]

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@shaina wrote:
Today is my birthday. My husband didn't once ask me what I wanted to do, or what I wanted as a gift, or anything in the weeks leading up to today. This morning he goes out and comes back with a dozen red velvet cupcakes. I've never had red velvet in my life, bc I'm a picky eater and it doesn't seem appealing. I don't really care about cake, in general. Then he got me a gift card for Best Buy so I can buy the apple airpod wireless headphones when they come out. I guess we talked about how cool they are back when they were announced 2 months ago. I haven't said a word about them since, nor do I listen to a lot of music or use headphones often. On the gift card package he wrote " this isn't as lame as it looks." He said he felt bad bc he was hoping they would have released the headphones by now and that a gift card isn't the best present.

For his bday this year I took him to the store and let him pick out a chair/couch for Man cave. Then while he was out of town, I built a bookshelf for his record collection, moved all his records to it, then hung (drilled for the first time ever) display shelves and carefully chose his fave records to display. I also ordered a blanket/throw of his favorite footy all team for that room and had it thrown over the chair. He came home to this while I was at work.

I feel so let down. Like I worked so hard, and he did almost nothing and what he did do was like he hardly knows me. Am I being dramatic? Expecting too much? Thoughts?

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He sounds sweet to me.  I think you're being too dramatic.  He obviously wanted to get you something and thought he was getting you something you wanted because you'd talked about it.  Sounds like you need to drop more hints in a non-subtle way about the things you really want.  It doesn't mean he doesn't care -- it means he's just not good at giving gifts. 

[Preds]

Some men aren't as creative or as sensitive as their spouses.  That's why they marry us.  He tried.

Happy Birthday!

[Noel7]

I don't understand why you're complaining about the gift,  You said two months ago you wanted it and he obviously made a mental note of that.  You got what you wanted, and I think he was creative about the cake.

Since you don't like what he did for you, next year tell him exactly what you want.  Don't make him guess and then feel disappointed.  Literally make a list: type of cake, bakery where it should be made, type of card, what you want for a gift and maybe where you want restaurant reservations.

Men are not mind readers, so yes, it's on you to shape his behavior.

[QVCkitty1]

You are a good gift  giver, he is only fair. It is what it is. Some people are just more thoughtful than others. 

[SaRina]

My thoughts?  In all sincerity....

1) Be grateful you have a husband/partner.

2) Be grateful that your husband thought of you on your birthday.

3) Count your blessings and be happy on your birthday.

[Plaid Pants2]

At least he got you something, right?

At least he remembered your birthday!

It's the thought that counts, right?

There are ladies here who have lost their husbands, and would give anything to have their husband back, and give them "disappointing" gifts.

Appreciate the spirit in which was intended.

He tried!

Also, did you specify what you wanted for your birthday?

Men are not mind readers, no matter how long you have been together.

Sometimes they have to be told exactly what, when, where and how.

I don't see him as the bad guy here.

He obviously loves you, and went out of his way to try to make your day special.

He deserves credit for that.

I hope that your day gets better, and try to have a happy birthday.

[nana59]

Yes, it is you.........