Community Chat

[Sawn]

My opinion is, your dh sounds like a sweetheart who really thinks that he was doing something for you that you would love. Men don't think like we do, I would be thankful.

[kivah]

I can definitely understand how u feel. In the future, tell him a few weeks before your birthday exactly what you want to do (go to a concert, theatre, travel, etc) and which gift would make you happy. 

Sounds like your husband is not creative and you need to let him know what you want.

[January121]

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@SaRina wrote:

My thoughts?  In all sincerity....

1) Be grateful you have a husband/partner.

2) Be grateful that your husband thought of you on your birthday.

3) Count your blessings and be happy on your birthday.

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@SaRina ... I love your response!! ..... my husband died a few years ago & I wish he was here even if he forgot my birthday!!!!

The OP should count her blessings!!

[ROMARY]

Yes, make that list with several options, and give it to him a month before your birthday.  That way, whatever he gives you, it will be a slight 'surprise' from that list.  Happy Birthday, btw. 

[Ibby114]

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@Jacie wrote:

Be your own party! Treat yourself to something special!

Happy Birthday!

Attitude is everything!

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I agree wholehearedly! My birthday is next week and I  made fun plans with a dear friend  - so I know  it'll be  a great day! 

[akaburtonfan]

I have been in the same situation in the past. I finally realized that while I love to go all out and plan big surprises, my husband doesn't. He does his best and I've come to appreciate that. 

He's gotten me some gifts that I was kind of disappointed with but it turned out that they were the gifts I actually used and appreciated later. 

You may have set your expectations too high. Be happy that he remembered your birthday and did his best to make it a good one. 

[kislandlover]

I seem to be in the minority here, but I understand exactly what the OP is feeling.  I have an amazing husband and an amazing marriage. We support each other on everything.  When my 50th birthday rolled around, it also coincided with our 15th anniversary, and the 5-year anniversary of my double lung transplant.  To me, it was major.  He worked all day (on a saturday, then he went on a long bike ride).  When he came home, we did go to dinner at place we wanted to try, but it turned out to be a bust. 

I was hurt.  I thought we could spend the day together wandering around our local arts district, try some new places and remembering/reminiscing about our lucky/happy years.  By the end of the day, I was in tears, and my DH was feeling bad and confused.

I don't know that real answer is, but my husband I will never dismiss each others special days again.  We will definitely be talking and planning together, which is really what matters (us, together).

[AuntG]

I don't think he did too bad.  It's hard to surprise a picky eater because the literally pick things apart.

[GenXmuse]

Ithis is not directed at op, just a general comment.  I'm not entirely sure why people expect such fanfare for their birthdays after reaching adulthood. It's kind of narcissistic to announce your birthday everywhere you go like the world should stop and marvel at the fact you were born that day.  You and millions of other people. It's nice for it to be recognized though and some need more attention than others like starting threads that are seekng recognition for their birthdays etc.  

That said, people aren't mind readers so be specific in what your desires are.