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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 95
Registered: ‎01-29-2019

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

Move and after he misses you terribly, will more than likely join you.  

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,603
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

@Jubilant It's easy to be good to someone who allows you to have everything your way.

Just how accommodating is it to help out with chores when she had a full time job? How how good to expect her to live among his relatives and drive miles to work, miles to stores, miles away from her family.

She says she loves him, I can't think why that is.

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Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

 

I am just amazed at the number of "just leave" comments. This moving discussion we are having is not the sum total of our 50 years.  We have two children together, went thru the deaths of both of our parents together, the loss of two pregnancies together.  There were job/career changes, illnesses.There have been bad times and great times and there will be in the future. This is not something I would ever walk out over. Mistreatment, yes. Verbal or physical abuse you bet your life. But this no. We will come to some kind of solution. 

 

 

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Posts: 2,190
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move


@Jubilant wrote:

I also don't agree with the advice of just throwing the marriage away and, from the sounds of it, you don't either.

You say he is a good man, good natured, and helps you, in any way he can.  That's pretty impressive.  Also, the fact that daughter was there to help with Dad with his cancer means a lot.  There are few people that realize all  their dreams in this life and sometimes we just have to bloom where we're planted and  form a new and fresh perspective on things. 


That sounds like wonderful advice for her husband.

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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

@Retired Legal Secretary. Did you say your kids live where you live now?  And you'd rather live by your sister and her kids and grandkids?  That's sort of sad to me.   I think I have confused this along the way. 

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Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

@Sooner  I meant my sister and her family are there not that I prefer them to my own kids. Our "kids"are both in their 40's.  In fact our daughter will be 50 on her next birthday. In fact, I wouldn't be shocked if she would be in favor of a move.Our son loves the house he bought 5yrs.ago near us, he's a country person.He hunts, he has his ATV a great group of friends and he dates.  He has a really good job he likes so he won't go anywhere. I would miss the kids but it's 100 miles not across the country. They have their own lives.  We have no grandchildren.

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Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

[ Edited ]

Why does anyone love anyone? Just because they do. Love isn't something you can define. What holds one couple together ,might  not work for another.

 

Neither is wrong. Love is something that  can only be defined by the couple that share it. It doesn't have to be the same, for every single person on this earth

 

I am watching the Crown. Pres Kennedy was just murdered. The Queen Mother, asked her daughter, the Queen, if  Jackie wasn't terribly unhappy. The Queen wisely said, sometimes people think they are unhappy, until something worse comes along, and then they discover they weren't unhappy at all. Life was worse without him , than with him.

 

I hope  they can come to a successful agreement, but, I don't for a moment doubt her feelings for him one bit.

 

 

 

 

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Registered: ‎05-18-2015

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move


@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

 

I am just amazed at the number of "just leave" comments. This moving discussion we are having is not the sum total of our 50 years.  We have two children together, went thru the deaths of both of our parents together, the loss of two pregnancies together.  There were job/career changes, illnesses.There have been bad times and great times and there will be in the future. This is not something I would ever walk out over. Mistreatment, yes. Verbal or physical abuse you bet your life. But this no. We will come to some kind of solution. 

 

 


"I moved from a small city to the country (or East  Begeezus as I call it) when I married 50 yrs. ago,  I was 18 and it was new and different. Other than a major PITA as far as distance for basic needs as in 10 mi.minimum one way for Dr., hospital, grocercies I managed. I was busy raising kids and then working after they were in school. I worked in next the town, if 1 stop light and a movie theatre open weekends makes a town. I am now retired and this place is not me. There is a house for sale in my hometown one street from my sister.  I want to buy it and move there.  Husband is a no way.  His siblings live here and he has been here 71 yrs.  I am not close to my in-laws.  No fighting just nothing in common. This town is not home I just live here. Would like to spend whatever time I have left someplace I Iove with my sister and her kids and grandkids. I still have friends from school there too.  We have2 great neighbors here and I would miss them and my friends but it would only be a 4hr.round trip to visit and it wouldn't be an issue to do it. What would you do?"

 

You posed the question.  I don't know if you were asking for suggestions or just interested in what others would do. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,225
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

@occasionalrain  I moved here because he worked in his family business.Yes,sometimes as in-laws can do they worked my last nerve, but they weren't the Mansion family. After he left the family business and got a different job he also had to drive miles to work and everywhere else. He always helped around the house. His said he lived there too and he didn't mind helping with household chores. He's a great Father and he always worked hard. He loved my parents and he was happy when they came to visit or we went there. My Mother and Father thought of him a son not son-in-law. Just because we don't see eye to eye right now doesn't mean he's terrible. We have always compromised that's marriage. This will get worked out. From your comments if someone doesn't get their way you just walk away. That's not our way. 50 yrs. is a long history to toss out like yesterday's paper. No matter what people say marriage is not 50/50.  Sometimes it's 60/40 or 80/20 depending what's going on at any one time.

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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

It seems to me, that ship has sailed. The time to have proposed moving was 15 or 20 years ago, before health issues. Then, a vacation cabin where the OP is living now and a house in her home town may have worked. There would have been time with her sister before she became ill and relationships in the community formed. She could have been part of her nieces'/nephews' lives, gone to their events.