Community Chat

[cherry]

I would try to fnd common ground.

[blackhole99]

What kind of relationship do you have with your husband?  Do you have your own money or do you need his help to make it go? If he won't compromise in some way and you are that unhappy, It would be a see ya moment for me. 

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

Thanks for the replys.  Having to have 2 houses and spend 6 mos. at each is something I don't want to have to do.  Twice the upkeep,  taxes etc.  He's  not dictating our location but he knows I never LOVED it here and at 75 and 68+ why uproot and leave now.  Our daughter might be okay with it. she moved back in and helped when her Dad got cancer a couple of years ago. Our son would never leave.  He loves his house and has a ton of friends here. I would never divorce over this. I'll see if I can convince him. I have to consider too if he relents and something happens to me he's there with none of his family.

[Azcowgirl]

Your story is similar to my “ almost sister” ...a very close friend...Who has wanted to move for many years but her DH didn’t want to move away from his family.

One day in December They were here visiting us and I took 

her to see a house that was just listed for sale, two streets over from me.

Low and behold, as if the stars were in perfect alignment, she loved the house, showed it to her DH, he loved it, and they bought it, and close in two weeks from now! She is beyond thrilled.It is like a dream come true for both of us.

Maybe the same thing will happen for you ! I wish you the very best and much happiness in your decision whatever it

will be.

[goldensrbest]

You might have to give up hubby,if he won't move.

[aroc3435]

@CrazyKittyLvr2  Sorry about your situation.  Regretfully, I think you might just have to continue to "bloom where you are planted" since you have been living in your husband's town for so long and since he has indicated he's doesn't want to relocate.

Is where your sister lives an area that has any University near by?  The reason I ask is that if you bought the right sort of home--nothing elaborate--you can rent it out for the academic year to grad students, or an assistant or associate professor and spouse and then occupy the house or condo yourself for summers--typically June, July, and until mid-August.

Otherwise, maybe you could visit the area you really want to be for a long weekend--or a week--monthly in decent weather and get a good deal as a "repeat customer" at a modest hotel (saving up the chain's "points" to get a free stay after so many visits) or a furnished room, although those aren't that inexpensive any more as they once were.

Assuming your children are grown, could you approach them quietly to see if they have any ideas about how you and your husband could reach a compromise?

Hoping for the best for you.

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@LonestarBabs   Halfway is more rural than I am now.  I'm in somewhat redneck (hubs isn't) rural country but halfway is bear and rattlesnake rural. We have a good relationship.  He's a good man and is sweet,  good natured and helps me in any way he can. He loves my sister (not wild about her husband but neither am I) and he likes visiting but he is a country person, born and raised.  It's my issue not his. 

[kitcat51]

Did you make it clear to your husband why you want & need to move? If so & he refuses then only you can decide to stay or go...I wish you the best.

[occasionalrain]

He may be sweet but he's selfish. You have given him 50 years of his choice and he should want to reciprocate. He knows you are unhappy and doesn't seem to care. A man who loves his wife wants to please her. Apparently, he loves his relatives more.

I would, divorce him, out of the blue, and move to the house near my sister. 

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@kitcat51  He knows I would prefer it elsewhere.  Moving is a want not a need.  I would love to move but I'm not going to wither and die if I can't get him to change his mind. I guess it comes down to him being more unhappy there or me just not wanting to be here. If we stay I want to go back to work  part time.  there is a good size city 35 miles from here. A 45 min.to 1hr.commute depending on traffic but I would get out of the boonies a few days a week.