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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,297
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Been here 50 years I want to move

 I moved from a small city to the country (or East  Begeezus as I call it) when I married 50 yrs. ago,  I was 18 and it was new and different. Other than a major PITA as far as distance for basic needs as in 10 mi.minimum one way for Dr., hospital, grocercies I managed. I was busy raising kids and then working after they were in school. I worked in next the town, if 1 stop light and a movie theatre open weekends makes a town. I am now retired and this place is not me. There is a house for sale in my hometown one street from my sister.  I want to buy it and move there.  Husband is a no way.  His siblings live here and he has been here 71 yrs.  I am not close to my in-laws.  No fighting just nothing in common. This town is not home I just live here. Would like to spend whatever time I have left someplace I Iove with my sister and her kids and grandkids. I still have friends from school there too.  We have2 great neighbors here and I would miss them and my friends but it would only be a 4hr.round trip to visit and it wouldn't be an issue to do it. What would you do?

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,869
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

I don't know what I would do since I love where I'm at and my family and DH's family is here. 

 

You on the other hand need to get your husband on board first or decide to go on your own. Tough choice. I wish you luck and maybe now is your husbands turn to accomodate you. 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

you have been living close to your husband's family for 50 years.....maybe it's time for your husband to live close to your family.........

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,281
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

[ Edited ]

Can you get a smaller home in your hometown and live in each location 6 months of the year rotating the major holidays?

 

A marriage should be a partnership not a dictatorship.

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Regular Contributor
Posts: 244
Registered: ‎07-12-2011

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

You probably feel this  is your last chance to move where you want , but without your husband on board this could lead to marriage troubles .

A friend of mine last yr husband wanted to move and she did not . So out  of the blue he went and got divorced after 40 + years of marriage and went to a  different country .

She is still shocked by it .She does still have family here , but he had none {as far as we know]in this new place .

Maybe take your husband for lots of visits to get him to see the new place and show him all the advantages and he may come around .

Hope it all works for you .

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,643
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

Take your husband to an Open House and a visit with your sister.  He may decide a move wouldnt be so bad after all.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,812
Registered: ‎03-19-2016

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

Perhaps you could spend several weeks occasionally with your sister and see how that works out. You could stay with her or friends rather than moving. Then have them visit you, 4 hours isn’t far. 

 

My husband didn’t want to travel so I told him ok stay home and I traveled. He was older and would do the same visiting his family for several weeks which was boring to me just sitting around.

 

We were both happy !

  

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,403
Registered: ‎10-12-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

[ Edited ]

I agree with ValuSkr. We are used to moving and I for one think change is a good thing. Hope he gets on board. We are in our mid 60’s and finally settled down in North Georgia. We moved here 2014. 

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,030
Registered: ‎06-26-2011

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

Is there any place halfway between the two locations? Your husband wouldn't feel he was being "yanked away" from his family and you'd be closer to yours. Perhaps moving one street away from your sister and totally away from his family bothers him, so a compromise of halfway might work for both of you. Then you can both look for something that pleases you and everyone has a choice/say in the matter without feeling railroaded.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,139
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: Been here 50 years I want to move

@Retired Legal Secretary  I would move. And I would do so with or without him. But that's ME.