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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,449
Registered: ‎03-29-2020

@NicksmomESQ wrote:

 

  Life is too short.Why not get along!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Someone should tell that to my daughter-in-law. Two years ago we had a major disagreement; I apologized and was ready to let it be "water under the bridge" but as a result she wouldn't let me see my granddaughter for a year; and my son went along with it.


 

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Posts: 1,987
Registered: ‎05-13-2021

 


@NicksmomESQ wrote:

 @stevieb   I totally agree with you. Everyone is responsible for working on the relationship.Everyone plays a part. From day one I accepted & loved my DIL & she respected & loved me. There is no competition between us. We have different roles in my son's life.My DIL has even told me that her coworkers are surprised that she speaks so well of me because apparently their MIL's give them a hard time."You reap what you sow",period.

  Life is too short.Why not get along!!

 

@NicksmomESQ  Your son and DIL are very lucky to have you in their lives.  If every mother had your philosophy there would be no MIL jokes.


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,420
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

Look, I'm not saying that a married son has to shun his parents.

 

But mothers need to understand and accept the fact that some may not call or visit as much as they would like, because their son is now married, with kid/s, that he needs to take care of. 


I agree to a certain extent but from seeing what goes on with my best friend and her son...there is much more time spent with her side than his...but his mother never puts pressure on her son...

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,146
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@SurferWife  I absolutely agree with you - those are the best days of my life, too.  I'm glad you had the courage to post it... I hope it's not poofed!

 

 

ETERNITY: your choice... smoking or non smoking!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

@decaf wrote:

@GoneButNotForgotten   It never even entered my mind that you were criticizing him to a 5 yo.  May I ask, do you like your DIL?


 

 

 

 

@decaf 

 

 

I don't know if she likes her daughter-in-law or not, but from her tone, she sure resents her son. He probably knows that, hence why he doesn't call or visit.

 

Who would want to be around someone who resents them, parent or not?

 

 

 

It's not totally unheard of for some mothers to resent the woman who "took their son away from them", no matter how good the wife may be.

 

The wife could be the best daughter - in - law on the face of the earth, and Mom would still not like her for the simple  that in Mom's eyes, she "stole" sonny boy away from her.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,987
Registered: ‎05-13-2021

@Mom2Dogs  That happens because it's usually the DIL that makes the social plans. I blame her husband (the son) for allowing that.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

@GoneButNotForgotten wrote:

@NicksmomESQ wrote:

 

  Life is too short.Why not get along!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Someone should tell that to my daughter-in-law. Two years ago we had a major disagreement; I apologized and was ready to let it be "water under the bridge" but as a result she wouldn't let me see my granddaughter for a year; and my son went along with it.


 


 

 

 

 

Ahhhhh!

 

 

There's the crux.

 

 

He put his wife and daughter first, when you are use to being in the #1 position.

 

 

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,635
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

 


@GoneButNotForgotten wrote:

@NicksmomESQ wrote:

 

  Life is too short.Why not get along!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Someone should tell that to my daughter-in-law. Two years ago we had a major disagreement; I apologized and was ready to let it be "water under the bridge" but as a result she wouldn't let me see my granddaughter for a year; and my son went along with it.


 


@GoneButNotForgotten   No ones perfect. You made a mistake & apologized. Your son should never have gone along with that.Shame on him.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,987
Registered: ‎05-13-2021

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

@decaf wrote:

@GoneButNotForgotten   It never even entered my mind that you were criticizing him to a 5 yo.  May I ask, do you like your DIL?


 

 

 

 

@decaf 

 

 

I don't know if she likes her daughter-in-law or not, but from her tone, she sure resents her son. He probably knows that, hence why he doesn't call or visit.

 

Who would want to be around someone who resents them, parent or not?

 

 

 

It's not totally unheard of for some mothers to resent the woman who "took their son away from them", no matter how good the wife may be.

 

The wife could be the best daughter - in - law on the face of the earth, and Mom would still not like her for the simple  that in Mom's eyes, she "stole" sonny boy away from her.


@Anonymous032819  Agree. When families have such long term issues  they should go to counselling.  There seems to be a terrible history of resentment.  Too hard for the GD. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,170
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Just FYI... Talking about it may do nothing.  And may backfire. Some people don't have that feeling of commitment toward parents or others- and if that's the case, you can't change them. My Sister is like that and it's very sad, but she doesn't really care to help my elderly Mother. Some people are like that-