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Registered: ‎11-27-2020

When we are abused ,in anyform ,we do not benifit from it by becoming  tough.We are good people in Spite of it.not because of it as a lesson.If that were true I would be hateful and  cruel.Some would sugar coat it and say "oh people had a bad life and chose the only thing they knew".That's ******....Evil is Evil.Yes it exists,  it is real.Woman hate woman all the time.No diffrent with mothers. 

 

I will never be whole from being nearly beaten to death from my drunk father often,while my mother smirked.She stepped in ,of course ,to say You don't want to go Back to jail for killing her,you better stop... In spite of them as they rot away beneath the ground ,I survived...They are dead .. I won my freedom,hard fought.

 

When you coment on things remember , someone's heart is broken.Forgiveness isn't always possible or required. Bless the path of those who lived this trauma. May you find your peace... Listen to Martina Mcbride " Concrete Angel" on you tube.It says it all..Be well ...Stand  strong as you can.

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Registered: ‎08-24-2011

@GrailSeeker I am so very moved by your story. I will think of it, and you, for a long time to come. I feel the sorrow, the pain, from which you have suffered. The wounds we carry are, in the end, mortal. But the other part of us, the part that survives, and perhaps thrives, is IMmortal. Maybe that's the God like part of our lives and maybe we win in the end. The one thing I always wanted was for my mother to stand before her Creator and be forced to experience what she had done to me. Its not that I want her to suffer, its that I want her to feel MY suffering. I ended my relationship with her when I was almost 50, and that was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. That you have been able to bring children into the world with love and safety, shows a kind of strength and courage that few of us have. You are a treasure to this world.

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Registered: ‎11-27-2020

Re: BAD MOTHERS

[ Edited ]

@ECBG  @People are people no matter where we hail  from.You were lucky to have others  in your life to support you.Its not about looks ,clothes.It is about control ,or loss of it more so. Anger misplaced. A million things that really weren't about the abused

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Registered: ‎01-08-2011

@ohbygolly wrote:

@ECBG  @People are people no matter where we hail  from.You were lucky to have others  in your life to support you.Its not about looks ,clothes.It is about control ,or loss of it more so. Anger misplaced. A million things that really weren't about the abused


@ohbygolly 

 

Thank you.  As time went, things that were said were jealousy.  Actually, it was a matter of where one put their money.  She was/is a social climber and has sold family art and antiques that weren't hers to fund her agenda.

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@furbabylover wrote:

@GrailSeeker I am so very moved by your story. I will think of it, and you, for a long time to come. I feel the sorrow, the pain, from which you have suffered. The wounds we carry are, in the end, mortal. But the other part of us, the part that survives, and perhaps thrives, is IMmortal. Maybe that's the God like part of our lives and maybe we win in the end. The one thing I always wanted was for my mother to stand before her Creator and be forced to experience what she had done to me. Its not that I want her to suffer, its that I want her to feel MY suffering. I ended my relationship with her when I was almost 50, and that was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. That you have been able to bring children into the world with love and safety, shows a kind of strength and courage that few of us have. You are a treasure to this world.


Thank you.  You brought tears to my eyes.  

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@Isobel Archer& @GrailSeeker

 

Although your individual histories are unique, I can feel the heat of your grief and totally empathize. I am so sorry for what you both endured. But you should both routinely be proud of who you are now. Heart


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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@ohbygolly wrote:

@ECBG  @People are people no matter where we hail  from.You were lucky to have others  in your life to support you.Its not about looks ,clothes.It is about control ,or loss of it more so. Anger misplaced. A million things that really weren't about the abused


@ohbygolly, very well said.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Registered: ‎12-01-2012

@ECBG wrote:

@GrailSeeker @Sooner 

 

Thank you for the discussion.

 

@Sooner , Perhaps we southern girls were the "queens of baby sitting".  Although, I didn't like it particularly, it got me out from my stepmother.

 

@GrailSeeker My stepmother was jealous of my wardrobe.  My dad's mom dressed me.  I was the eldest granddaughter with long blonde hair.  She had two boys and always wanted a daughter, and in the end became my "mother" in many ways.

 

Ladies, both discussions remind me of the book "The Cinderella Complex".


I have read that book @ECBG and also The Peter Pan Complex, Men Who Refuse To Grow Up.  I guess I did think someone would eventually come and rescue me, but no one ever did, not really.  I had to rescue myself.  The other ironic thing was that my my spunk actually came from my grandmother, and not my mother who was too complacent and "helpless".  I was the only blonde child out of the six, the only one with blue eyes.  My hair was naturally curly and into my 40s I was still being compared to, you guessed it - Shirley Temple.  But, I always longed for long, straight hair.  Impossible.

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Posts: 43,472
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

@GrailSeeker 

 

Well, my Dear, it seems we are survivers.  I was barely around my mother after I was 10 years old.  She had a broken heart because her father wouldn't let her marry the man she loved.  She became an alcoholic, and we all know that road.

 

I got away from the SM as soon as I could.  I worked my way through college and left.  I became a teacher and picked an area that would let me give a lot of support to students, and I did.

 

 

 

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Posts: 32,686
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@ECBG wrote:

@GrailSeeker @Sooner 

 

Thank you for the discussion.

 

@Sooner , Perhaps we southern girls were the "queens of baby sitting".  Although, I didn't like it particularly, it got me out from my stepmother.

 

@GrailSeeker My stepmother was jealous of my wardrobe.  My dad's mom dressed me.  I was the eldest granddaughter with long blonde hair.  She had two boys and always wanted a daughter, and in the end became my "mother" in many ways.

 

Ladies, both discussions remind me of the book "The Cinderella Complex".


@ECBG I'm southern.  Never baby sat.  Matter of fact I don't know many girls who did.  But maybe economic factors enter because people pretty much stayed home and didn't need baby sitters.  Couldn't afford to go out and not many places to go where the whole family didn't go.