1. I do not waddle - it's called pregnancy swag.
2. During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels when he has a fever.
3. You can't drink any alcohol and you still have a hangover in the morning.
4. Bra off. Hair up. Belly out.
5. To pee, or not to pee, that is never the question. Pee.
6. A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller, and home happier.
7. People always say that a pregnant woman has a glow. And I say it's because you're sweating to death.
8. Being pregnant made me realize it takes talent to not pee yourself when you sneeze.
9. You know you're pregnant when all you fantasize about is sleeping for more than one hour at a time.
10. I'm pregnant, which means I'm sober, swollen, and hungry. Approach with caution.
The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
