Community Chat

[Carmie]

@sunshine45   I understand how you feel, I just don't understand why you feel that way.

We have a funeral director in the family and my sister's best friend is a funeral director married to a funeral director.

I have been to many funerals.  I also have been in the funeral home early to view before the services started.  Yes, the funeral directors are there.  They greet me when I arrive and we talk. They walk me out when I am finished.

I don't even call first, I just go in.  I also go to buy Mass Cards early.  That way they are there before the family arrives and the funeral director does not have to conduct business during the viewings.

I don't know anyone who I would not want to attend a funeral of anyone in my family, nor would I forbid anyone from coming early when a family member wasn't there.

I know everyone is different, but to me these things that you find disconcerning

seem silly.  I can think of no reason to do this.  The funeral director is always there and if something was inapproperiate, he or she would take care of it.

the only time I can think of where someone should not have been allowed to attend was when a man had a wife and a girlfriend.  He had children with both. He was living with the girlfriend until he became very sick, then moved in with his mother.

Both were in the funeral home at the same time with their children and it didn't go very well.    Something should have been planned in advance. I don't think this is the norm.  Most funerals are civil and respectable...as they should be.

[Sheila P-Burg]

@Carmie  ...... A situation like you described could occur in this circumstance. The ex-husband was living with the woman he supposedly cheated with at the time of death. I am sure she will be there ....... with his family ....... and the ex-wife who the family dislikes shows up. Could get interesting. Hope this isn't a small town.

I live in a small community now. The one (1) funeral home in my hometown does not have an open door policy. Visiting hours are specified on the front door. Deliveries (flowers, etc.) are brought in through the back entrances.

@sunshine45  concerns are not silly. I feel the same as she does. I have already made my wishes known to my immediate family. No viewing of the body except for my surviving siblings. 

[Carmie]

@Sheila P-Burg   It's good you have this planned in advance.  My mother had a private viewing too.  The deceased wishes should always be honored.  Not everyone wants to be on display.

My DH wants the whole works when he passes.  I want to be cremated with no viewing and only a memorial service for my immediate family.

[Bird mama]

@lovesrecess  If I was in your sister's shoes I wouldn't waste so much as a minute of my day on the guy and I certainly wouldn't walk into a potentially hostile situation to prove a point.  Then again, for me, when it's over, it's over.

She may be curious.  Maybe she wonders what he looked like at the end or what the woman he left her for looks like 14 years later.  Who knows what motivates people?