Community Chat

[Cakers3]

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@Desertdi wrote:

Why can't she attend the funeral with their children?    Or if they live far away, attend as their representative?

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@Desertdi   ????  The sister has no children with the ex.

[Sooner]

I attended the funeral of a very close relative once--when I was the next of kin.  Someone came who I did not expect to see, certainly did not want to see, and was suprised to see.

Now many years later when I think of that day that's what pops into my mind first.  "WHY is HE here?"  I was irritated to see him, and he hung around making the day uncomfortable for me.  

So my take on this comes from that.  The family has enough grief to deal with.  It's their loved one, their family member, and their time.

Stay home and let them be surrounded by people who will leave them with comforting and loving memories.  It is what they need, not someone to bring back unpleasant and difficult memories and times.

It's the least you could do to stay away. 

[RedTop]

Since it was a hostile divorce, and 14 years ago, I think your sister needs to find another way to deal with her feelings.   An obituary is proof he died; she doesn’t need to visually see him in the casket to let go of whatever she’s feeling.  Her presence would definitely not be welcome.

I have attended 2 funerals in my husbands family where police presence was needed.  Both times it was because someone felt they “had a right to be there”, which made it uncomfortable for others, but it was clear they came to insure the person was dead, and add a last touch of drama with their presence.   

When mom lost her brother, we had current wife, and also embraced both exes.  It seemed only natural for them to be there, as they had remained close to our family, altho it was certainly the neighborhood gossip for awhile.   

[Boomernichols]

Perhaps in some way this will give her closure.  As for myself I personally would not go but it is not my emotions that is in question here.

[Sheila P-Burg]

@Jordan2  ......... Hint .......  two sides to every story.

[Jordan2]

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@Sheila P-Burg wrote:

@Jordan2  ......... Hint .......  two sides to every story.

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Actually there are three sides to a story, yours, mine, and the truth. I can only go by the information I got.

[NicksmomESQ]

I definitely would not attend. He cheated on her & his family treated her like ******.There is nothing to gain by going.

[sunshine45]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

@lovesrecess @Your sister is a remarkable woman for wanting to attend her ex husband's funeral. I don't know if I would, having cheated on me and all. I think she should go if she wants, if it were me I would sit in the back. If the family is smart, the funeral is not the time to make a scene, one would hope they would be on their best behavior. I don't understand why the family would have a problem with your sister, she seems to be the injured party.

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@Jordan2 

always remember, we only hear ONE side of the story usually......and this is a second hand story at that......not the original party.

[Sheila P-Burg]

@lovesrecess  ......  Be sure you read @Sooner  post. Read it very carefully and you should understand how your sister attending might effect others not just the day of the funeral but years later. I do not believe she is wanting to go to the funeral for closure of any type. Others attending the funeral will question her motives. Is this something she wants?

[Sheila P-Burg]

@Jordan2  .... I prefer to believe in the original "ancient" quote (two sides to every story) not the more recent quote (three sides to every story) from I believe a movie producer. To each their own belief.