Community Chat

[chrystaltree]

I don't know what that means.  Growing up varies from person to person and it happens gradually, over time.  No one can, I was a child at 13 and adult at 14.  Maturity doesn't work like that.  Young people can be very mature in some areas of their lives not more childish in other areas.

[manny2]

@SoonerBeing a child is a necessary step into adulthood. You can't skip steps, so I wonder how that manifests now in your life.

[manny2]

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@Foxxee wrote:

The brain fully matures around the age of 25, some earlier, some later. 

Regardless of when we think we have become adults before that age, I think it's sometime during our 30's when we have some experience under our belt and begin to develop wisdom.    

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@Foxxeethe brain fully matures at about the age of 25. I agree with you I think our 30's is where we start to embrace adulthood.

Adulthood is not going off to college, or living in our own apartment, or working a full time job. Those are just steps on the journey. Adulthood is where we start to understand we are accountable for our actions. We develop empathy, and show responsible. Where we learn to make decisions that are best for us rather then what other people think.

It's a long process, and you have to factor in each one of us has our own demons we are wrestling with, so it is quite a journey.

[Sooner]

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@manny2 wrote:

@SoonerBeing a child is a necessary step into adulthood. You can't skip steps, so I wonder how that manifests now in your life.

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@manny2 I think of course it made me who I am today.  I am very fact oriented and focused.  I did very well in the workplace and was known for sorting through the emotions and red herrings to get to seeing what needed to be done and getting it done, well done and on time.

It made me good at business and negotiating.  It's about business, not about how you feel.  It made me confident about who I am and what I believe.

It made me able to see both sides of an issue.  It made me able to change my mind, accept new technologies and change with the times as needed.

It gave me the freedom to take care of business, and live a good life and the ability to have fun and not be stressed all the time--because things were taken care of. 

It saved me a lot of floundering to grow up that I see in some people. It gave me the ability to do the things I needed to do as an adult for my small and elderly relatives, and I thank God for that.

And it gave me the insight to marry the perfect man for me at a young age. 

[chickenbutt]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@manny2 wrote:

@SoonerBeing a child is a necessary step into adulthood. You can't skip steps, so I wonder how that manifests now in your life.

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@manny2 I think of course it made me who I am today.  I am very fact oriented and focused.  I did very well in the workplace and was known for sorting through the emotions and red herrings to get to seeing what needed to be done and getting it done, well done and on time.

It made me good at business and negotiating.  It's about business, not about how you feel.  It made me confident about who I am and what I believe.

It made me able to see both sides of an issue.  It made me able to change my mind, accept new technologies and change with the times as needed.

It gave me the freedom to take care of business, and live a good life and the ability to have fun and not be stressed all the time--because things were taken care of. 

It saved me a lot of floundering to grow up that I see in some people. It gave me the ability to do the things I needed to do as an adult for my small and elderly relatives, and I thank God for that.

And it gave me the insight to marry the perfect man for me at a young age. 

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I'm so happy that you have done so well, despite your early challenges!

I was like you with business stuff.    I think that from all the years of being called worthless, stupid, etc, made me go out and always excel in my career pursuits.  I do have that of which to be proud.

OTOH, I didn't do as well with the emotional stuff.  I didn't know what family and relationships should look like so I made so many mistakes.

I'm also a realist and very fact-based as a thinker.  I don't buy into anything and base everything in facts and evidence.  That's how my brain works best.  

[manny2]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@manny2 wrote:

@SoonerBeing a child is a necessary step into adulthood. You can't skip steps, so I wonder how that manifests now in your life.

---

@manny2 I think of course it made me who I am today.  I am very fact oriented and focused.  I did very well in the workplace and was known for sorting through the emotions and red herrings to get to seeing what needed to be done and getting it done, well done and on time.

It made me good at business and negotiating.  It's about business, not about how you feel.  It made me confident about who I am and what I believe.

It made me able to see both sides of an issue.  It made me able to change my mind, accept new technologies and change with the times as needed.

It gave me the freedom to take care of business, and live a good life and the ability to have fun and not be stressed all the time--because things were taken care of. 

It saved me a lot of floundering to grow up that I see in some people. It gave me the ability to do the things I needed to do as an adult for my small and elderly relatives, and I thank God for that.

And it gave me the insight to marry the perfect man for me at a young age. 

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@SoonerI am glad to see you did so well. Most people that miss their childhood/adolescent years do not do well. In fact many try to go back and recapture them, and that never works. It can also lead to depression, and interfere with coping skills etc

[jubilant]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

I don't know what that means.  Growing up varies from person to person and it happens gradually, over time.  No one can, I was a child at 13 and adult at 14.  Maturity doesn't work like that.  Young people can be very mature in some areas of their lives not more childish in other areas.

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@chrystaltree  I get what you're saying and most of of it is true.  When I read this title, I thought about what my definition of an adult was.  For myself, that means taking responsibility for my actions regardless of what others might think.  At very young ages, most of us have someone we had to answer to. Now we answer to ourselves.  But being a responsible person is a little different than maturity in my opinion.  Maturity to me is an on-going process till the day we die!

[LillyandHobo]

At 11. I had to take over the mothering duties of 3 younger kids. My brother was 3 and called me mom! 

[Sooner]

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@manny2 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@manny2 wrote:

@SoonerBeing a child is a necessary step into adulthood. You can't skip steps, so I wonder how that manifests now in your life.

---

@manny2 I think of course it made me who I am today.  I am very fact oriented and focused.  I did very well in the workplace and was known for sorting through the emotions and red herrings to get to seeing what needed to be done and getting it done, well done and on time.

It made me good at business and negotiating.  It's about business, not about how you feel.  It made me confident about who I am and what I believe.

It made me able to see both sides of an issue.  It made me able to change my mind, accept new technologies and change with the times as needed.

It gave me the freedom to take care of business, and live a good life and the ability to have fun and not be stressed all the time--because things were taken care of. 

It saved me a lot of floundering to grow up that I see in some people. It gave me the ability to do the things I needed to do as an adult for my small and elderly relatives, and I thank God for that.

And it gave me the insight to marry the perfect man for me at a young age. 

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@SoonerI am glad to see you did so well. Most people that miss their childhood/adolescent years do not do well. In fact many try to go back and recapture them, and that never works. It can also lead to depression, and interfere with coping skills etc

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@manny2 I wanted to be like my family, and what I saw were people who stayed the course, did the hard things, and were thankful for their blessings.  Being a child doesn't mean you have to be wild and irresponsible or childish.

I see that all the time in posters here who had a lot to deal with as children and are fine humans now.  

[Porcelain]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

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Hi Dear!  I don't recall that but, either way, PLEASE don't feel badly about anything.  Fact of the matter is, he wasn't there during my childhood as she was always getting married and divorced, ad nauseam.   I've told him that I do not blame him at all for the abuses (none of which were at his hand or even when he was there).    There is no bad blood with him and, in fact, he is the only person I'm related to with whom I even have any contact.

You're great and I always look forward to reading your posts.  

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Thank you. You are so gracious!