Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

my dads favorite songs were Time to say Good bye    He Stopped Loving her Today by George Jones and I Will Always LoveYou by Dolly P .   Can't hear any of these dongs without crying still ,  it's been 5 yrs now since he passed .   He told me several years ago that when his time came he wanted Time today Goodbye at his funeral ,  which we did and that's why that particular song will always be hard to hear and it's just so beautiful . Andrea Bocelli's voice  IMO is what I feel God's sounds like when he sings .   

 

Some days it feels like he's been gone for a long time and I'm healed,  then on other  days it is just like yesterday .  I was a daddy's girl and he was my person,  went to him for happy days and sad days.  He was the Best dad I could ever ask for and there is always a sense of someone missing at every holiday and family gathering of any kind.  I know he's with me though as there are always Cardinals around ,   Many nests as well ,  we live in a wooded area.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears


@PUPPY LIPS wrote:

My Dad passed away over 3 years ago and I miss him terribly.  I was a wreck at his funeral.  For others in the family, it did not seem to hit them until later.  Everyone grieves at their own pace.

 

My Dad was having a stent replaced on a Monday.  I should have called him sooner than I did.  I did not call him until Saturday when my husband and I were working out of town.  I was standing outside a restaruant as we were waiting for a table.  There was no answer, so I never talked to him.

 

As the airplane landed back in our home state on Sunday, I got a text from my brother that our Dad had a heart attack, but he was still alive.  He died later that day.

 

We go back to that city every year for work and have not been back to that restaurant, at my request.

 

I found out later that my Dad did not answer the phone because they went to the drug store to fill his prescription, but it was closed.  So he died the next day.  My sister and her husband ended up buying his car, months later.  They found a case in the car with all the pills that my Dad needed, untouched.  The hospital gave all that to Dad when he was discharged.  He must have forgotten that he had all that.  My Mom was not with him when he got out of the hospital, but she should have been.  She would have remembered that he already had the pills.  Part of me blames my Mom for his death, but I don't want to feel that way. We never told my Mom that my sister found all those pills in the car.


@PUPPY LIPS   Your post kind of rings true for me .   I still don't feel my mom did enough when my dad was hospitalized,  he never left there, he died with no one by his side .   We were at the airport on our way,   But never Made it  there as while waiting to board I got the call from my brother that dad passed 2 hours prior.    It still haunts me that I was on my way, but  before I could get there to see him one last time he died.   i did however get to say I Love you ,  2 days prior on his birthday on the phone ,  and that was the last thing I said to him which at least gives me comfort.   No one told me he was that bad , I know his condition was serious but my mother didn't stress how bad.   I feel more could have been done ,   My mom just went with whatever the dr said .   Drs are a whole other thing with me ,  won't even get into that.

 

i just wanted to say I understand how hard it was and is for you .   I'm told that one day the good memories will be a comfort and the saddeness will lesson .   Grief is so hard,  it seems never ending  .  I hope and pray for you , me and everyone going through losing a loved one will  find that peace.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,677
Registered: ‎05-09-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears


@Kitty Galore wrote:

@PUPPY LIPS wrote:

My Dad passed away over 3 years ago and I miss him terribly.  I was a wreck at his funeral.  For others in the family, it did not seem to hit them until later.  Everyone grieves at their own pace.

 

My Dad was having a stent replaced on a Monday.  I should have called him sooner than I did.  I did not call him until Saturday when my husband and I were working out of town.  I was standing outside a restaruant as we were waiting for a table.  There was no answer, so I never talked to him.

 

As the airplane landed back in our home state on Sunday, I got a text from my brother that our Dad had a heart attack, but he was still alive.  He died later that day.

 

We go back to that city every year for work and have not been back to that restaurant, at my request.

 

I found out later that my Dad did not answer the phone because they went to the drug store to fill his prescription, but it was closed.  So he died the next day.  My sister and her husband ended up buying his car, months later.  They found a case in the car with all the pills that my Dad needed, untouched.  The hospital gave all that to Dad when he was discharged.  He must have forgotten that he had all that.  My Mom was not with him when he got out of the hospital, but she should have been.  She would have remembered that he already had the pills.  Part of me blames my Mom for his death, but I don't want to feel that way. We never told my Mom that my sister found all those pills in the car.


@PUPPY LIPS   Your post kind of rings true for me .   I still don't feel my mom did enough when my dad was hospitalized,  he never left there, he died with no one by his side .   We were at the airport on our way,   But never Made it  there as while waiting to board I got the call from my brother that dad passed 2 hours prior.    It still haunts me that I was on my way, but  before I could get there to see him one last time he died.   i did however get to say I Love you ,  2 days prior on his birthday on the phone ,  and that was the last thing I said to him which at least gives me comfort.   No one told me he was that bad , I know his condition was serious but my mother didn't stress how bad.   I feel more could have been done ,   My mom just went with whatever the dr said .   Drs are a whole other thing with me ,  won't even get into that.

 

i just wanted to say I understand how hard it was and is for you .   I'm told that one day the good memories will be a comfort and the saddeness will lesson .   Grief is so hard,  it seems never ending  .  I hope and pray for you , me and everyone going through losing a loved one will  find that peace.


@Kitty Galore I am glad you got to talk to him and tell him you loved him days before he passed.  Actually, I did too.  I happened to be "home" because we still use our same accountant in our home state.  So I was there the week before.  I was the last of us three kids to see him and talk to him.  While there, I took the last photo of him, sitting in his usual chair.  And when he dropped me off at the airport, he said, "Bye, I love you."  And I said it back.  Of course I had no idea that would be the last time I saw or talked to him.  I will say this though.  He seemed in fairly good shape for his age and was getting around just fine.  When I see really old people that are struggling, people I don't even know, I almost break into tears.  It is just so sad.  Though I am sad my Dad is gone, I am glad that I never had to see him in a condition like that.  It would be heartbreaking for me.  I know that may sound selfish, but he would not be happy like that either.  My Mom is still with us, and I imagine I will go through that with her.  Blessings to you.  Everyday will get a bit better.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
Regular Contributor
Posts: 195
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

@Anonymous032819  - I am so sorry for the loss of you dad.  I am so happy that you have the memory of lunch with him.  

 

I had a similar reaction to the Eagles.  The last time I saw my nephew before he died they were on the radio when he got into my car.  He was so happy.  He turned up the volume and said "Music in my Aunt Jenny's car never s u c k s!"  He died three days later.  The next time I hear another one of their songs was a few months later while I was cleaning the kitchen.  I had a breakdown.  I didn't expect it.  I was unprepared for my reaction. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,955
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears


@PUPPY LIPS wrote:

@Kitty Galore wrote:

@PUPPY LIPS wrote:

My Dad passed away over 3 years ago and I miss him terribly.  I was a wreck at his funeral.  For others in the family, it did not seem to hit them until later.  Everyone grieves at their own pace.

 

My Dad was having a stent replaced on a Monday.  I should have called him sooner than I did.  I did not call him until Saturday when my husband and I were working out of town.  I was standing outside a restaruant as we were waiting for a table.  There was no answer, so I never talked to him.

 

As the airplane landed back in our home state on Sunday, I got a text from my brother that our Dad had a heart attack, but he was still alive.  He died later that day.

 

We go back to that city every year for work and have not been back to that restaurant, at my request.

 

I found out later that my Dad did not answer the phone because they went to the drug store to fill his prescription, but it was closed.  So he died the next day.  My sister and her husband ended up buying his car, months later.  They found a case in the car with all the pills that my Dad needed, untouched.  The hospital gave all that to Dad when he was discharged.  He must have forgotten that he had all that.  My Mom was not with him when he got out of the hospital, but she should have been.  She would have remembered that he already had the pills.  Part of me blames my Mom for his death, but I don't want to feel that way. We never told my Mom that my sister found all those pills in the car.


@PUPPY LIPS   Your post kind of rings true for me .   I still don't feel my mom did enough when my dad was hospitalized,  he never left there, he died with no one by his side .   We were at the airport on our way,   But never Made it  there as while waiting to board I got the call from my brother that dad passed 2 hours prior.    It still haunts me that I was on my way, but  before I could get there to see him one last time he died.   i did however get to say I Love you ,  2 days prior on his birthday on the phone ,  and that was the last thing I said to him which at least gives me comfort.   No one told me he was that bad , I know his condition was serious but my mother didn't stress how bad.   I feel more could have been done ,   My mom just went with whatever the dr said .   Drs are a whole other thing with me ,  won't even get into that.

 

i just wanted to say I understand how hard it was and is for you .   I'm told that one day the good memories will be a comfort and the saddeness will lesson .   Grief is so hard,  it seems never ending  .  I hope and pray for you , me and everyone going through losing a loved one will  find that peace.


@Kitty Galore I am glad you got to talk to him and tell him you loved him days before he passed.  Actually, I did too.  I happened to be "home" because we still use our same accountant in our home state.  So I was there the week before.  I was the last of us three kids to see him and talk to him.  While there, I took the last photo of him, sitting in his usual chair.  And when he dropped me off at the airport, he said, "Bye, I love you."  And I said it back.  Of course I had no idea that would be the last time I saw or talked to him.  I will say this though.  He seemed in fairly good shape for his age and was getting around just fine.  When I see really old people that are struggling, people I don't even know, I almost break into tears.  It is just so sad.  Though I am sad my Dad is gone, I am glad that I never had to see him in a condition like that.  It would be heartbreaking for me.  I know that may sound selfish, but he would not be happy like that either.  My Mom is still with us, and I imagine I will go through that with her.  Blessings to you.  Everyday will get a bit better.


@PUPPY LIPS   I relate to not having to see your dad in that condition,  from what my family told me it was a blessing that I could remember him as last I saw him,   We lived in a different state so didn't see my family regularly.    I too had no idea that those would be my last words to him and he sounded so upbeat I never would have guessed he would be gone .    Blessings to you as well .