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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,504
Registered: ‎05-05-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears


@ZoeTheCat wrote:

@spider woman wrote:

I think we all can relate to hearing a song and having a memory whether happy or sad.  You do heal in time but you never forget, the pain of grief may ebb but the tears still come and go.

 

My dad passed in early November of 1965 and I remember how my mom loved the song, Autumn Leaves by Roger Williams.  While it is an instrumental (piano piece), there are words.  When I heard the words I knew why she related it to my dad.  To this day I still shed tears when I hear that song for my mom and dad.


Autumn Leaves is such a beautiful song @spider woman.  The version by Eva Cassidy is incredibly moving.  It was a favorite of my former boss’s wife, and when she died several years ago, it was played at her funeral.  She died in late October, and the funeral was held on a crisp beautiful autumn day here in New England.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the church.  Eva Cassidy herself died in her early 30s from cancer.  So very sad.

 

 


Eva Cassidy truly had the voice of an angel!  I had no idea she was so young when she passed away.  I would love to have any song she ever sang played at my funeral. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,051
Registered: ‎06-14-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

KittyLouWhoToo

 

I must apologize fro sending my response to poster on the bay who was nice enough to let me know my error!!!  It's just another senior moment as they say.  

 

I did say that I love Jazz and Blues so Cannonball version of Autumn Leaves is classic, thanks!

Regular Contributor
Posts: 178
Registered: ‎07-02-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

You view it the same way I do.  My first husband and I had a special song "my Girl" by the four tops.  After his death it was a long time before I heard it on the radio and the first time ( and every time since) I said  "HI John - miss you to".  I always feel like he is sending it to me as a sweet memory.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,673
Registered: ‎05-09-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

My Dad passed away over 3 years ago and I miss him terribly.  I was a wreck at his funeral.  For others in the family, it did not seem to hit them until later.  Everyone grieves at their own pace.

 

My Dad was having a stent replaced on a Monday.  I should have called him sooner than I did.  I did not call him until Saturday when my husband and I were working out of town.  I was standing outside a restaruant as we were waiting for a table.  There was no answer, so I never talked to him.

 

As the airplane landed back in our home state on Sunday, I got a text from my brother that our Dad had a heart attack, but he was still alive.  He died later that day.

 

We go back to that city every year for work and have not been back to that restaurant, at my request.

 

I found out later that my Dad did not answer the phone because they went to the drug store to fill his prescription, but it was closed.  So he died the next day.  My sister and her husband ended up buying his car, months later.  They found a case in the car with all the pills that my Dad needed, untouched.  The hospital gave all that to Dad when he was discharged.  He must have forgotten that he had all that.  My Mom was not with him when he got out of the hospital, but she should have been.  She would have remembered that he already had the pills.  Part of me blames my Mom for his death, but I don't want to feel that way. We never told my Mom that my sister found all those pills in the car.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
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Posts: 146
Registered: ‎11-22-2013

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

I can sympathize with you and your feelings.  The day that I left the hospital from the loss of my father, Broken Halos by Chris Stapleton came on the radio.  There is a line in the song that references we will wonder until the by and by.   I felt like in that moment my heart would explode and tears flowed. It will take you some time to heal, just be patient with yourself  and know that  God will take your sorrows and make them his own...Jesus wept. too! 

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Registered: ‎04-18-2013

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears


@spider woman wrote:

KittyLouWhoToo

 

I must apologize fro sending my response to poster on the bay who was nice enough to let me know my error!!!  It's just another senior moment as they say.  

 

I did say that I love Jazz and Blues so Cannonball version of Autumn Leaves is classic, thanks!


@spider woman 

 

An easy error to make!  No worries!!

 

I love Jazz and Blues as well.  My father was a jazz musician and so I heard a lot of it growing up and developed a great appreciation for the form.

 

Cat Very Happy

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Posts: 1,639
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

Thank-you for all of the warm support.

 

 

The first year, I think is the hardest. First birthday(s) his and mine, first holidays, etc where he won't be there physically.

 

 

I know people are probably getting tired of me talking about my dad.

 

 

Some days are easier than others.

 

 

Sometimes I feel guilt that I wasn't there by his side when he passed, or that I had placed him in a nursing home.

 

But, I also know that he was becoming physically violent, and that I could no longer take care of him, and give him the level of care that he needed.

 

I will forever hate the disease of Altzheimer's/dementia.

 

 

That awful, awful disease robbed me of who my daddy was, a kind, caring, modest man.

 

But at least I did get to see him one last time before he passed, where I took him outside, and I said to him that it was okay for him to go. I told him that I would always love and miss him, but that I would be okay.

 

At this point, the disease had taken so much of him, that he didn't know who I was, but I think somewhere deep down inside, my words resonated.

 

The day that he passed, I had never cried so hard, not even when my beloved mom passed in 2000. My heart literally physically hurt, and I thought that it was going to burst from the pain.

 

A couple of days later my best friend took me out to karaoke, and I sang the song "You Can Let Go Now, Daddy" by Crystal Shawanda.

 

I'm not going to post the lyrics, but if you read them, be sure to have tissues with you when you do.

 

I managed to make it through the song without breaking down, and I dedicated the song to my dad.

 

 

Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble.

 

 

Thank-you for the support.

 

 

It makes missing him just a little bit easier.

 

 

Heart Heart Heart Heart Heart Heart

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,051
Registered: ‎06-14-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

I am  impressed, KittyLouToo having a father who was a jazz musician.  You must have learned much about jazz through him and continue to appreciate it!!!!  That is wonderful!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,067
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

I cry every time I hear “ Tears in Heaven” because of knowing the loss that is behind It being written.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,067
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: At Least I Didn't Burst In To Tears

When we lose someone, memories of them become treasures