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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,281
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:

I truly don't mean any disrespect toward anybody else here, or their opinions, but I think that one thing that might not be understood from the other side of the coin is that you do and do and do and do for everybody else.   You just keep hanging in there for everybody else.   You deal as best you can but, at some point, you end up at the end of your rope and there's nothing left.  You are empty inside because it's all been used up.

 

At some point when can it be about you and the fact that you just flat can not do it anymore.   That's why I would submit that it really isn't selfish at all.  It isn't easy.  It isn't a cop out.  It's a very difficult place to land.  You don't just decide overnight that you're going to end it.

 

Thanks for listening Smiley Happy   


@chickenbutt This is very well-put, chickenbutt. And unfortunately, there are a lot more people than one might think that are out there walking around with this heavy burden, with fake smiles on their faces.

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Posts: 17,571
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

@EastCoastGal wrote:
@Northray.... So "Some of us tho will just pull up our big girl pants and carry on ......" Oh! So there's a lot of us who just can't pull up our big girl pants and carry on?????? Very insulting to put it that way using those words. You don't know how much every person has been through! I'm a very strong person.. What's in my brain that prevents me from healing??? A lifetime of pain. Not everyone can be helped and l accept that BECAUSE I'm a strong person and I will continue to be..... I know my limits of what I can and cannot do... ----- Your delivery wasn't good with that one insulting sentence. Leave that sentence out and read more on how to be fully compassionate about mental illness.

@EastCoastGal   You are taking one sentence out of her post and not understanding what was meant by it.........

 

@Northray   Actually wrote more than that.

 

And it is true-depending upon one's space in this world and depending upon the circumstances-some are more able to move on than others.

 

 

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
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Posts: 17,571
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

@Northray wrote:

@Lipstickdiva wrote:

The reason why Ashley did this interview was because the information is going to come out and the family wanted to be the ones to put it out there and not have this story be a part of a rumor mill.  Even on this thread people are gossiping.

 

Ashley didn't say anything about her mom trying to overdose and it not working.  She said her mom used a weapon.  She used a firearm.  

 

It's sad to me that she needed to come out with this so soon after her mother's passing, knowing people would just gossip about it all.  It's also sad to me that people feel such despair that they feel the only way out is to end their lives.  This country has got to do better about mental health assistance.


The world has got to do better.  As bad as it is here, we are still dealing with cultures that think there is no such thing as a mental illness at all but that it's a moral lack or possession or anything but not an ill brain. 

 

We need to destigmatize mental illness as we did with alcoholism.  And to a certain extent, we have.  But to be fair, mental illness is complicated and the deep core truth of it is, aren't we all just a little broken in our brains sometimes.  After all this life experience is hard.  Some of us tho, will just pull up our big girl pants and carry on, but soooo many just cannot do that, something in the brain prevents them.  We need to get to bottom of what in their brain prevents them (the medical world still doesn't know after all this time).  Accept that, show compassion, and above all find treatments!

 

As for people gossiping about the circumstances.  Duh.  The Judds are in the public eye and we are all just people.  Human beings are made to wonder and be curious and get with others who are wondering and curious about the same things.  My grandmother used to always say don't put your life out there unless you want people to talk about you, because child they will, it cannot be helped.  I'm one of these rare millennials that guards my privacy for that reason.


@Northray   Important points. 

 

As far as the Judds, I'm not into books/interviews so I'll let that be.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
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Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎04-20-2013

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

@SeaMaiden wrote:

@Lucky Charm wrote:

@SeaMaiden wrote:

I  would have thought a drug overdose would be what she would choose... shooting yourself is so awful.. painful... can not imagine the state of sadness and desperation  she must have been in.... 


It could be that she tried to overdose, but because it wasn't immediate she choose to shoot herself.

 

The saddest part of it all is, she knew her daughter was there and would most likely be the one to find her.

 

That gives me the chills.


@Lucky Charm   I personally feel mostly anger at those who choose to kill themselves... It is a very selfish choice when you have close family like she did that have to clean up the mess....


That's not fair or compassionate, @SeaMaiden 

 

People afflicted with mental illness don't think the same way as a healthy person does.  They don't have the same rationale as you or me. They aren't planning for what comes next.  They just want the pain and agony to stop. 


I have a friend whose young daughter committed suicide.  She had three failed attempts with drugs and was revived.  She was a loving, brilliant young woman with a bright future ahead.  She was very close to her parents, friends and family and they did everything humanly possible to help her.  It was a financial drain and they were basically her jailers. She left a note stating that she would no longer be in pain and thanked them for all they did but nothing they or her friends could have done would have prevented this (suicide). She jumped off a landmark building in NYC.  She meant it and the "normal" individual could never understand her pain and being depressed since early adolescence though a very popular and brilliant young woman.  

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Posts: 13,003
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@RedTop wrote:

My aunt shot herself at age 62.  She went to her car, used a shotgun to deliver one shot straight thru the heart.  No blood on her, no blood in the car.  

 

Despite my love for my aunt, I carried a lot of anger for MANY years after her death, and just could not seem to let go of my feelings.   And then there was the dream of her standing with my uncle, holding hands, both smiling, young and happy.  I woke up with tears on my face and a load lifted in my heart.  Deep within I know she found peace and that helped me make peace with the way she chose to end her life.   



oh my gosh, this made me cry.


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,765
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

@gidgetgh 

My aunt had mentioned suicide to her medical doctor as well as a psychiatrist, who convinced her to sign herself into a psychiatric facility.   

While she was an inpatient there, her son removed his dads guns and ammunition from the home.  This shotgun was left, because no shells were found in the house.  My uncle wasn't a hunter, and my cousin hadn't used the gun, or seen shells for this gun, in more than a decade, so it seemed to be no real threat.  But obviously my aunt had one shell hidden, and knew how to use it.  We stripped the house after she died and found no other shells.   

My aunt died in the late 80's, and I wasn't able to release my anger until she appeared in my dream sometime within the last 10 years.  

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Registered: ‎01-27-2014

@chickenbutt My friend (on this forum), your post worries me a little. If you are depressed, I hope you will seek support and assistance. It is out there and it is so worth the effort to find it if, in fact, you are experiencing depression. I wish I could buy you a cup of coffee and chat in real life...but that's not how the forum works. Hang in there! 

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Posts: 5,272
Registered: ‎05-24-2010

@Mindy D wrote:

@SeaMaiden @It's not usually the case for Major Depressive Disorder, but it is often the case for Bipolr 1 Disorder, that a person can experience an irresistible compulsion to act on a suicidal impulse. (The suicides with MDD are often less compulsive.) I watched this happen to a relative of ours. The person did not want to die and called to get family to come over and physically prevent him from acting on the impulse. Family toook him in to be hospitalized. He had never had a depressive episode before this and had only experienced manic episodes. He has not had a second depressive episode since. He did not have a choice. He was experiencing a compulsion. 
I found this eye opening to watch. 

I have the same disorder Naomi had, Major Depressive Disorder, Severe, but in my case I take an anti depressant that works. I was not suicidal before the medicine worked and I did not experience any compulsions.  

Naomi suffered with MDD, Severe, without the benefit of a working medication for years. She had tried many, many solutions and worked with many specialists. It's the most unrelenting torment. I think she could no longer take the degree of torment she was experiencing. She had asked Ashley to stay with her but Ashley had to briefly walk away. That's when it happened. This leads me to believe that Naimi experienced a compulsion to act. She had been trying to stop it by asking Ashley to stay with her. She had reached the limit. I don't think she was selfish at all. She lived in torture. May she rest  In  peace.


@Mindy D  You can't take this leap. We have no idea what Naomi Judd's diagnosis was. She may have had other co-morbidities. Ashley did not cause this, and she could not have stopped it. Unless Naomi told her what she was going to do and asked for her intervention. We know that did not happen, so we will never know what was going through Naomi's mind before this tragic outcome. 

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Posts: 10,891
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Thank you.  I don't watch morning TV so I would have missed it.  That WAS A TEARJERKER. Those poor girls.  How painful. I feel so. Ad for the suffering Naomi went through.  The horror of mental illness and anxiety is just unsleakable

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Posts: 4,793
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:

@Lucky Charm wrote:

@SeaMaiden wrote:

I  would have thought a drug overdose would be what she would choose... shooting yourself is so awful.. painful... can not imagine the state of sadness and desperation  she must have been in.... 


It could be that she tried to overdose, but because it wasn't immediate she choose to shoot herself.

 

The saddest part of it all is, she knew her daughter was there and would most likely be the one to find her.

 

That gives me the chills.


@Lucky Charm   I personally feel mostly anger at those who choose to kill themselves... It is a very selfish choice when you have close family like she did that have to clean up the mess....


@SeaMaiden :  I so heartedly agree with you.  I personally know famiy members that have had to do what Ashley Judd did and it is devastating to them to this day.  I was sad to hear of Naomi's death, but my heart broke for Ashley.  Naomi's hell is over but Ashley's is continuing on.  The thing if these family members have seen their loved one struggle during their lifetime and helped as much as they can.  Now guilt will plague them for the rest of their days.  Yes, I also feel like it is very selfish on their parts.  The mess will never be cleaned up.