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[equestrianesse]

Article from yahoo: The Opposite of Tiger Mother: Leaving your children behind

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-opposite-of-a-tiger-mother-leaving-your-children-behind...

I found this article incredibly sad. The author, IMO, is very selfish. Simply put, it was all about her, not her children. When we make the choice to have children and be a parent, we give up a huge part of our lives. It's the ultimate sacrifice. Maybe I have a harsh assessment, but it's how I feel.

Putting the emphasis on the double standard where men are not judged for leaving their kids proves nothing to me. I know a man who lives thousands of miles from his children, by choice. My DH and I constantly wonder how he does it; DH cannot imagine living away from P, even if we weren't together. I think the same about a man who voluntarily abandons his children as I do a woman; I see no benefit to pleading the inequality between the sexes as justification for the author's abandonment. Right, because men can get away with it, despicable as it is, so should women? That's the way to advance your gender... lower the expectations.

As for distance and abandonment making her a better parent, again, excuses. She could have worked on her feelings and still been a mother. Every mother understands the feeling of giving up everything for your children, and struggling to find the balance between time for yourself and being a good mother. There's nothing at all wrong with carving out a part of your life that's just for you. But total abandonment?

People make all kinds of choices in life, and I respect that. But the author of this article doesn't get any kudos from me.