Community Chat

[winamac1]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

i love being alone sometimes......and make a point to be that way as often as possible. i find it very helpful to maintaining peace and tranquility in my life. i live with four to six adults at any given time and it isnt always easy, especially when three of them are your children. LOL

i enjoy going out by myself to dinner or for drinks sometimes, getting away for a weekend or staying an extra day after everyone leaves, or just walking/shopping by myself.

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I love being alone too @sunshine45. While I only live w my husband my family is over here a lot and I desperately NEED that time.

I have gone on vacation just by myself too and it was great. My husband did not understand that but he knows I am not like most girls and accepts that about me and I love that about him. I think vacationing by myself was great.

I was never a person that needed to be around people to feel good. I am a social creature for sure but I am also just as comfortable all by myself. 

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I have not gone on vacation by myself, but I have flown in early to sales meetings and spent a day or a day and a half by myself to shop or explore the city.  I'm married with no children, and I am in sales.  I have a lot of friends, but many live out of town.  I love being alone or with my husband.  I shy away from a lot of parties or commitments as I am more of an ambivert.  I love the fact that 4 or 5 of my good friends live out of town so I can just speak with them on the phone regularly and not see them all of the time, LOL.  That sounds odd, but I don't like a lot of face to face commitments.

I am in sales and around people all day long.  I'm an ambivert so am more in the middle.  Many sales reps are extroverts.  I recharge my spirit by being alone or with my husband.

I have one very close friend who is a total extrovert.  She exhausts me at times as she always has to be doing something with someone.  

I am comfortable in my own skin and don't always have to feel entertained by others.  I do like having one "friend" interaction a week so usually try to stick to that--more than that...I usually try to opt out.  

DH is a total introvert.  He loves being alone or with me, and he shys away from some of the gatherings I get invited to.  It can be a struggle at times as he just rarely wants to go.  I think he has a level of social anxiety disoreder, but he's an engineer.  That's not too uncommon wtih engineers.

[JJsMom]

I can honestly say that I am almost never lonely. I have a large family and stay busy. If I ever feel lonely, I plan a get together with friends and family. I will initiate it.

I feel sad for those who feel lonely and suffer in silence. If you reach out, there is always someone out there will care, but I know that's hard to do for some.

[Irshgrl31201]

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@qvcalot wrote:

I do Facebook, which gives me pleasure, however, they are posts between friends and prayer requests mostly, which I respond to with prayer. I don't know where to search to find like minded people to converse with. As far as my family, you are right in the respect that they think I just won't flip that button and go find a friend. I don't complain, they just know that I don't like going out and I don't like to drive. As for finding a friend, at my age, also being female, real friends have been cultivated over the years. Being married for almost 30 years, ex was my best friend. We did everything together and I had no female best friend that I did anything with. Then divorce and work came along, no friends there either. You ladies know that your best friends are the ones you have been with for quite a while. Also, not to make an excuse, the town I live in are quite tight...if you didn't go to the local high school and have a commonality there, you are not welcome. Obviously, I went to the rival high school. I know that sounds crazy since we are so much older, however, people in this town are pretty snooty. I would love to join a local group that got together weekly, none are around. I went to a church several years ago to meet people, signed several sheets to go bowling, go out and eat, get together in many capacities, never heard back regarding one sheet. So I have tried...thus, this is my lonely which was the topic. Thank you few ladies for having the compassion for another person who truly IS lonely. God will bless you.

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I am so sorry that you are lonely @qvcalot. What interests do you have? Do you enjoy cooking, sewing, gardening, crocheting, etc...? If you type in your interests along with the words club or something similar, you will get info on these types of clubs or groups or classes. While you might not meet your best friend or soul mate there you could meet some nice people to have dinner or coffee with or someone possibly to go to a museum or the movies with. If you do not like to drive do you have Uber or Lyft in your town? Do you ask if your grandchildren can come over and stay overnight with you? I don't know if your disability would allow for that. 

[Irshgrl31201]

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@winamac1 wrote:

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

i love being alone sometimes......and make a point to be that way as often as possible. i find it very helpful to maintaining peace and tranquility in my life. i live with four to six adults at any given time and it isnt always easy, especially when three of them are your children. LOL

i enjoy going out by myself to dinner or for drinks sometimes, getting away for a weekend or staying an extra day after everyone leaves, or just walking/shopping by myself.

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I love being alone too @sunshine45. While I only live w my husband my family is over here a lot and I desperately NEED that time.

I have gone on vacation just by myself too and it was great. My husband did not understand that but he knows I am not like most girls and accepts that about me and I love that about him. I think vacationing by myself was great.

I was never a person that needed to be around people to feel good. I am a social creature for sure but I am also just as comfortable all by myself. 

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I have not gone on vacation by myself, but I have flown in early to sales meetings and spent a day or a day and a half by myself to shop or explore the city.  I'm married with no children, and I am in sales.  I have a lot of friends, but many live out of town.  I love being alone or with my husband.  I shy away from a lot of parties or commitments as I am more of an ambivert.  I love the fact that 4 or 5 of my good friends live out of town so I can just speak with them on the phone regularly and not see them all of the time, LOL.  That sounds odd, but I don't like a lot of face to face commitments.

I am in sales and around people all day long.  I'm an ambivert so am more in the middle.  Many sales reps are extroverts.  I recharge my spirit by being alone or with my husband.

I have one very close friend who is a total extrovert.  She exhausts me at times as she always has to be doing something with someone.  

I am comfortable in my own skin and don't always have to feel entertained by others.  I do like having one "friend" interaction a week so usually try to stick to that--more than that...I usually try to opt out.  

DH is a total introvert.  He loves being alone or with me, and he shys away from some of the gatherings I get invited to.  It can be a struggle at times as he just rarely wants to go.  I think he has a level of social anxiety disoreder, but he's an engineer.  That's not too uncommon wtih engineers.

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I do agree I know a lot of engineers who are the same @winamac1. Now my father and brother in law also were engineers but they happened to be fairly social (my father literally never met a stranger) but I do know that most I have met were pretty introverted.

For most of my life I would say I was definitely a extrovert that loved to be around others and have parties or dinners at my house all the time and have guests stay with us often. As I get older, I want that less and less. lol! 

[winamac1]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@winamac1 wrote:

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

i love being alone sometimes......and make a point to be that way as often as possible. i find it very helpful to maintaining peace and tranquility in my life. i live with four to six adults at any given time and it isnt always easy, especially when three of them are your children. LOL

i enjoy going out by myself to dinner or for drinks sometimes, getting away for a weekend or staying an extra day after everyone leaves, or just walking/shopping by myself.

---

I love being alone too @sunshine45. While I only live w my husband my family is over here a lot and I desperately NEED that time.

I have gone on vacation just by myself too and it was great. My husband did not understand that but he knows I am not like most girls and accepts that about me and I love that about him. I think vacationing by myself was great.

I was never a person that needed to be around people to feel good. I am a social creature for sure but I am also just as comfortable all by myself. 

---

I have not gone on vacation by myself, but I have flown in early to sales meetings and spent a day or a day and a half by myself to shop or explore the city.  I'm married with no children, and I am in sales.  I have a lot of friends, but many live out of town.  I love being alone or with my husband.  I shy away from a lot of parties or commitments as I am more of an ambivert.  I love the fact that 4 or 5 of my good friends live out of town so I can just speak with them on the phone regularly and not see them all of the time, LOL.  That sounds odd, but I don't like a lot of face to face commitments.

I am in sales and around people all day long.  I'm an ambivert so am more in the middle.  Many sales reps are extroverts.  I recharge my spirit by being alone or with my husband.

I have one very close friend who is a total extrovert.  She exhausts me at times as she always has to be doing something with someone.  

I am comfortable in my own skin and don't always have to feel entertained by others.  I do like having one "friend" interaction a week so usually try to stick to that--more than that...I usually try to opt out.  

DH is a total introvert.  He loves being alone or with me, and he shys away from some of the gatherings I get invited to.  It can be a struggle at times as he just rarely wants to go.  I think he has a level of social anxiety disoreder, but he's an engineer.  That's not too uncommon wtih engineers.

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I do agree I know a lot of engineers who are the same @winamac1. Now my father and brother in law also were engineers but they happened to be fairly social (my father literally never met a stranger) but I do know that most I have met were pretty introverted.

For most of my life I would say I was definitely a extrovert that loved to be around others and have parties or dinners at my house all the time and have guests stay with us often. As I get older, I want that less and less. lol! 

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Hi Irsh.  I know what you mean.  One of my good friends is married to an engineer.  He is super social--even more social than my friend.  He loves to entertain and always wants her to have friends over to eat dinner at their home after skiing.  They live in Utah and entertain constantly.

[Mom2Dogs]

I don't know if I get lonely or just buggy to do something...but I enjoy being alone sometimes.  I am married and my DH and I do a lot together but I also enjoy having time with my girl friends.  There is very little extended family on either side.

Unfortunately my friends are moving...one moved south a couple years ago and the other is moving this summer...I will miss the abiity to pick up the phone and say 'lets do lunch today'...... as well as knowing if we wanted to just have a whine and wine night we could do it on the spur of the moment.

I have a couple of other good friends but work schedules keep us from doing things very often.

As I get older I find it harder to make really good friends......

[Candyapple]

@qvcalot ----- I highly recommend you go to meetup.com and read what it's about. There's a ton of groups you can join in your area. Just navigate the website and you'll see. All different interests are on there. There's a ton of them. It's not a dating site, although there are singles meet ups too. Look up groups in your area that you would be interested in and then join them. Most of them are free although a handful may require a very small fee to join. I can't stress enough how great this is. I can almost guarantee you won't be lonely anymore and you will make friends.

This was started by a man in NYC after 911 happened, to get people to come together again. Well it really took off and is amazing now. Please at least go to the website and see for yourself. My neighbor was a very quiet, lonely, unhappy, divorced man. Well he joined different meet up groups and he's never home now on weekends. He even has a girlfriend now whom he met by chance unintentionally at one of the meet ups. Good luck. Let me know if you do it. 😊👍

[Candyapple]

Also meetup.com is for all age groups; it doesn't matter how old your are. Some groups are mixed ages and some are geared towards a certain age group. Honestly, there's so many groups, you can be on there all day looking.

[CalminHeart]

I knew long ago that if my husband and I divorced, I'd never remarry.  And he royally messed up.  I raised the kids alone and moved on.  I became stronger and more fulfilled as time went by.  For 17 years, I was on the team in my parish that ran the program for adults to join the church.  I do various charity work.  I had a stressful but exciting career until last year when I retired. I help take care of my parents and disabled sister.  I am a founding member of a political group that has expanded to surrounding states and includes a number of politicians.  

I love living alone!! There is nothing better than coming home to my dog and my own space.  

Being alone does not have to equate to being lonely.  If you're lonely, get involved in something you love.  Reaching out to others will do more than anything else to erase lonliness.

[Strictly Sky]

It's not that I like being by myself a lot. It's that I HAVE to have my alone time to feel normal. It's who I am. I find that people are very draining. But I do like people, and it's nice to chat with a friend or go to the movies with someone sometimes. But I will go to the movies by myself and not give a flip.

I'm getting married in two weeks(!)  I'm a Gen Xer and pretty much thought I'd remain unmarried. I had a lot of boyfriends, but none were anyone I'd want to marry. But I found the most wonderful man who respects my need to have alone time.

To add to this: I've been all over the world by myself. I went to India and Thailand alone. I went to Malaysia alone. I even went to Paris, the City of Love, by myself. haha