Are you lonely? - Page 12

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
Question for all the introverts (and semi-introverts, ha ha):

When you are enjoying your alone time, how do you feel about "sound"? Do you prefer where you are to be quiet, or do you prefer "background noise" ? (TV or radio)

When I'm enjoying my solitude, even having the radio on seems like unwelcome "noise", and I'll keep it off.

What's your preference?

I enjoy the quiet. I hear 90% nature sounds, a very occasional car, and neighbors chopping wood. Not at all the nightmare that city noise had become for me.

When others are home I will usually have my white noise machine on low (to high if they kick up TV in another room). When completely alone I revel in just hearing the birds & insects & frogs.

Strange, I used to listen to music for hours at a time; I rarely do any more and don't really know why. The TV I might have on to half-watch something while I'm doing something else, but more often than not, if it's on, it's on Mute. Silent company, lol.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
Question for all the introverts (and semi-introverts, ha ha):

When you are enjoying your alone time, how do you feel about "sound"? Do you prefer where you are to be quiet, or do you prefer "background noise" ? (TV or radio)

When I'm enjoying my solitude, even having the radio on seems like unwelcome "noise", and I'll keep it off.

What's your preference?

@Tinkrbl44 For me even with living alone since 1999 I still will not turn on t.v. until at least 7:30 pm at night. When at home I do not even listen to a radio but do listen to talk radio on the Internet at the office while working. I like the silence and peace at home. But I do have to have my fan noise for sleeping.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

qvcalot · ‎09-29-2013

The topic is lonely, not enjoying being alone! I have been alone for over twenty years and I am so lonely all the time. I was divorced after almost 30 years and became disabled and no longer had a purpose in life. You need a purpose in life to be happy, which I can't remember when that was last. I have no friends to talk on the phone with, none to visit and do not want to go out to eat by myself. That's lonely. Please don't suggest therapy, been that route and could write a book. This is my station in life and each day is the same. I would LOVE to have a friend to talk with and enjoy an occasional dinner out. Had the dating route...ugh...at my age, no thank you, there are few, if any, men that I would trust. Basically, only go to grocery store when I have to, then back home to TV. My heart aches for the companionship of a true, caring, trustworthy friend....that's loneliness. Please don't misconstrue "alone" with "lonely." By the way, I was an only child and that won't fly either. Thought I had made a few friends when I worked, but after you retire, you have nothing in common and they have their own lives to live. Workplace was not a condusive atmosphere for making friends so evidently that was a no go. Enjoy your "alone" time, I envy your enjoyment....

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
More often than not, I do like some sound (tv, music, etc) when I'm alone.

As long as it's only one sound at a time, I'm good. When there are competing sounds, or my worst nightmare - two or more people talking at the same time - this is when my head explodes.

I think that's mostly due to the tinnitis. It makes it only possible to process one other sound at a time.

I can still feel alone because the tv, or whatever, isn't interrupting my being alone, or my sense of peace (if that makes sense).

If i am at a place that gets load, people talking, music it really gets to me ,i have to leave.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Qshopper1991 · ‎08-15-2014

@LilacTree

When I first got divorced, I hated being alone. It made me so sad.

Now, I LOVE it! I can't imagine being married ever again. I keep busy anyway - and I'm really never alone. I talk to the Lord a lot. My relationship with Him has grown a lot in the last several years. And I have my daughter and my family. I have friends, but I don't really go out with any of them. I enjoy the "me" time.

Normal? I always thought the same. It's normal for me

Qshopper1991 · ‎08-15-2014

@SilleeMee

That's me

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@qvcalot wrote:
The topic is lonely, not enjoying being alone! I have been alone for over twenty years and I am so lonely all the time. I was divorced after almost 30 years and became disabled and no longer had a purpose in life. You need a purpose in life to be happy, which I can't remember when that was last. I have no friends to talk on the phone with, none to visit and do not want to go out to eat by myself. That's lonely. Please don't suggest therapy, been that route and could write a book. This is my station in life and each day is the same. I would LOVE to have a friend to talk with and enjoy an occasional dinner out. Had the dating route...ugh...at my age, no thank you, there are few, if any, men that I would trust. Basically, only go to grocery store when I have to, then back home to TV. My heart aches for the companionship of a true, caring, trustworthy friend....that's loneliness. Please don't misconstrue "alone" with "lonely." By the way, I was an only child and that won't fly either. Thought I had made a few friends when I worked, but after you retire, you have nothing in common and they have their own lives to live. Workplace was not a condusive atmosphere for making friends so evidently that was a no go. Enjoy your "alone" time, I envy your enjoyment....

@qvcalot

I'm sorry you're continually lonely and think there's really nothing you can do about it.

I agree with your comment about the workplace ..... most people are work acquaintances, not work friends. The real acid test of workplace friendships is if you see each other outside of work on a regular basis.

The only suggestion that comes to mind at this moment is to connect with a minister, priest or rabbi at your local house of worship and set an appointment with them. Explain your situation and ask them to brainstorm with you about what you can do differently. They are very knowledgeable of things going on in their communities, and you aren't coming up with anything on your own. You need the help of a caring person who can see you objectively.

You also need to ask yourself ... what can I do differently? HTH

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
Question for all the introverts (and semi-introverts, ha ha):

When you are enjoying your alone time, how do you feel about "sound"? Do you prefer where you are to be quiet, or do you prefer "background noise" ? (TV or radio)

When I'm enjoying my solitude, even having the radio on seems like unwelcome "noise", and I'll keep it off.

What's your preference?

I'm mostly an introvert and do like having some sound in the house -- either tv on low or music.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@qvcalot OMG your post is so sad. I would love to be your friend. I wish there was some way we could exchange emails or something, so we could make a friendship.

I hate to think anyone is that lonely, when there are people out there who would be glad to be your friend!

P.S. A lot of people are on the internet, trying to learn English and they prefer a native speaker. I did this for a while --- they will Skype with you and they would love to hear about where you live and so on, of course you don't have to give personal details, but speaking to someone via Skype would probably help your loneliness.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@qvcalot wrote:
The topic is lonely, not enjoying being alone! I have been alone for over twenty years and I am so lonely all the time. I was divorced after almost 30 years and became disabled and no longer had a purpose in life. You need a purpose in life to be happy, which I can't remember when that was last. I have no friends to talk on the phone with, none to visit and do not want to go out to eat by myself. That's lonely. Please don't suggest therapy, been that route and could write a book. This is my station in life and each day is the same. I would LOVE to have a friend to talk with and enjoy an occasional dinner out. Had the dating route...ugh...at my age, no thank you, there are few, if any, men that I would trust. Basically, only go to grocery store when I have to, then back home to TV. My heart aches for the companionship of a true, caring, trustworthy friend....that's loneliness. Please don't misconstrue "alone" with "lonely." By the way, I was an only child and that won't fly either. Thought I had made a few friends when I worked, but after you retire, you have nothing in common and they have their own lives to live. Workplace was not a condusive atmosphere for making friends so evidently that was a no go. Enjoy your "alone" time, I envy your enjoyment....

You are closing off every avenue to making friends. Please don't dismiss therapy because you sound very, very depressed😕