Are most of you from the East? - Page 14

sfnative · ‎03-10-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
desertDi...I'm stuck in Queen Creek, big difference from Los Angeles. Never should have listened to my daughter.
@Lindsays Grandma, I wondered about that. I have to say, I did learn from a job I once had, in regards to parents moving to live by their children, turns out, it's not necessarily a good move when these women look back. One woman went so far as to say, she bought a house down the same street from where she had lived, before that move. Another woman, said, once she got moved all her dreams of being able to spend more time with her daughter and grandkids didn't happen. Instead, she'd left all her friends and never sees her daughter or the grandkids much. I learned a lot in that area. I hope your situation is better.

@Lindsays Grandma

@qualitygal

In my mind, one has to do a LOT of thinking and self-talk before making a move to be near daughter/son/grand kids.

My husband and I, in dialog with my daughter and son-in-law, discussed all of the ins and outs about doing this when we retired. We really wanted to be an active part of our granddaughter's life, not just someone who dropped in once a year. So we made the move from California to Oregon (had visited Oregon maybe 12 times) and made the change just over two years ago.

Yes, the big regret is losing friends and that includes work friends I no longer see five days a week. It is not easy to make good,close friends when you're 68.

We live ten minutes from our daughter's family. Not bad. Easy for return of the two year old we have two days a week. The huge downside has been that we have turned into "simply grandparents." We don't see our family except when we return the kid: we're never invited to events at their home. Honestly, I didn't think I brought up my daughter to be so self-centered.

Bottom line: I'm glad to be able to contribute to my granddaughter's life and hope I stick around enough for her to remember me.

(And, yes, I have signed up for various classes ALL of which have been canceled. Can't believe it!)

sylviahomeatlast · ‎03-11-2010

I had family (and my dad) from Ludington, Michigan
I am so used to Colorado to live but I love to go to other places.
For some reason, maybe it's a tone of voice, I thought most of you were Easterners
LOL

sylviahomeatlast · ‎03-11-2010

Thank you all for humoring me. :-)

Gemspirit · ‎01-23-2015

Right there with you!

@dmod nj wrote:
Jersey checking in. No place else I'd rather live.

Right there with you! Spent many many summers in the UK as that's where my mom was from. But NJ is home and, I'm proud of it!

Gemspirit · ‎01-23-2015

@qualitygal wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
desertDi...I'm stuck in Queen Creek, big difference from Los Angeles. Never should have listened to my daughter.
@Lindsays Grandma, I wondered about that. I have to say, I did learn from a job I once had, in regards to parents moving to live by their children, turns out, it's not necessarily a good move when these women look back. One woman went so far as to say, she bought a house down the same street from where she had lived, before that move. Another woman, said, once she got moved all her dreams of being able to spend more time with her daughter and grandkids didn't happen. Instead, she'd left all her friends and never sees her daughter or the grandkids much. I learned a lot in that area. I hope your situation is better.

I just wrote a lengthy comment about our generation and moving for, living for our adult children. I did c/p before posting but something went all wrong and it disappeared instead of saving.

So I'll do this very quickly...hopefully it won't sound heartless. We have two adult children...in their early-mid 30's. Both married. We did all the things we thought were right to raise loving children, independent and capable, charitable & good citizens. And they are all that.

They both wanted to go to college...we provided most of that~just enough student loans to keep them aware of the investment college is. We worked nights, weekends, holidays to save. Our daughter went for her masters. With that we told her to choose one of our outstanding state universities and commute. She worked part time for the experience in her field and expenses other than room & board. She lived home and we were happy to have her.

But it even before grandchildren .....we've been hurt & dissapointed by both of them. They claim to be so family oriented. Yes, but on their own terms, when it's conveinant. There are so many of our friends who feel this way as well. One of my cousins calls our children's generation, the "entitled generation" and, as time goes on I'm sadly beginning to agree with her!