Community Chat

[qualitygal]

A life lesson: You are not responsible for anyone's behavior, but your own.

[Deanie]

@AngelPuppy1  Well said.  I would like to add to that.  I bellieve this may be a cultural or generational thing.  Not sure, however, I sahare your sentiments. 

I have a neice who married an older man.  Broke up his matrriage at the time. They have no children.  She has a powerhouse of a position.  She just divorced him say 20 years later,  What she said, this will floor some, " I am not going to take care of any old sick man."

[Sooner]

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@house_cat wrote:

@Sooner

I haven't been on the boards much lately - just been busy. I was feeling kind of sorry for myself tonight as was going to start a thread on this same topic, when yours popped up.  

I've spent my life trying to make everyone around me happy and you know what? It's not possible.

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@house_cat  Bless your heart.  No, it isn't possible.   It's hard to remember this isn't it?  You go right ahead and feel sorry for yourself for awhile, then count your blessings and remember you can't always make it happen for others.

I wish I could give you a hug in person, but since I can't here's a cyber one! (((((house-cat)))))

[HappyDaze]

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@Deanie wrote:

@AngelPuppy1  Well said.  I would like to add to that.  I bellieve this may be a cultural or generational thing.  Not sure, however, I sahare your sentiments. 

I have a neice who married an older man.  Broke up his matrriage at the time. They have no children.  She has a powerhouse of a position.  She just divorced him say 20 years later,  What she said, this will floor some, " I am not going to take care of any old sick man."

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That has nothing to do with culture or generations- that has to do with being selfish and narcissistic. 

[house_cat]

@Sooner

Thanks.

I needed that.

[Deanie]

@HappyDaze  Perhaps

[truffle]

Without glue there is chaos and if you don't want to take a leadership role in the relationships around you, you will in some way suffer the consequences. Maybe not today but one day you certainly will.  So, take a day or two off but then come back stronger and do what you've always done....be the glue.  

[LilacTree]

Frankly, I don't know what "happy" is.  To me the word should be "peace."  I had four daughters; one, my oldest, was never "happy" since she was a toddler.  She told me she hated life, hated the world ever since she was a young teen.  She has been estranged from the rest of us for almost ten years now.  I have made several attempts at reconciliation, but it always winds up bad . . . or I should say worse.  I think this last time (recent) might wind up as being the last time.  But I am weak.  She is my first born child and I still love her and my grandchildren (who I see occasionally).  By the way, she claims she is happy and loves her life.

I have two "happy" daughters, and one who has had peaceful times, but was always conflicted, and she is now sick with chronic Lyme and certainly does not live a happy life.  I wish peace for her and for myself, as we live together, and two less than healthy women living together is not necessarily peaceful.

I think the difference is "happy" is momentary, while "peace" is permanent . . . or at least semi-permanent. 

Have I made my children "happy?"  I can only say I tried because my love for them is strong.

[esmerelda]

@Sooner  No, you are only responsible for your own happiness.  If you are happy, there's a better chance the people around you will be happy.

As far as being the glue and sending the cards etc. is concerned...if you don't want to do it, just be sure someone/everyone knows you won't be doing it; and if they want it done, one of them will have to do it.

People (most of them anyway) aren't mind readers.  Tell them what you want them to know!

[LilacTree]

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@truffle wrote:

When you enter into a marriage there is the expectation you will live happily ever after and I would never marry a man who didn't subscribe to that and as a parent there is also the expectation of providing your kids with a happy and healthy upbringing.   I would never expect my partner though to pay for my Perricone skincare or my $50 foundation.  That's why I work part time. I'm sure many men will be shocked and blindsided when they retire and see exactly what they've been paying for to make their spouse happy. 

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@truffle

I'll never forget about a year after my beloved mother, who died of cancer at age 49 . . . when my father said "you know, I have saved $3,000 since mom died."  My sister and I looked at each other, and she was the one feisty enough to say . . . "Oh, that's what she cost you for a year?"  He still didn't realize the significance of what he had said.  That is something one never forgets.