Are You Happy - Page 6

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I am happy. I don't believe happiness means you are never sad. I believe faith has a lot to do with it. Sometimes I think we associate happiness with pleasure and that is just one happy moment. True happiness is deeper than that. I read this recently and thought I would share it as it describes what I feel about "happiness":

"Being able to love in a situation that in former times caused offense, bitterness, or wrath brings genuine gladness into the heart.

Being able to be at peace in a situation that in the past would have caused anxiety, fear, and turmoil brings genuine gladness into the heart.

Being able to turn our eyes away from things that used to bind us brings genuine gladness into the heart.

Being able to serve and give when we used to be full of laziness and selfishness brings genuine gladness into the heart".

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

I am thankful and feel blessed and thank God every day but happy no I am not....It is not a choice for some of us to be happy and look on the positive. You try but you just cannot see it. For some of us the weight of sadness just sits on us. Happy is different for each person. My happiness is seeking change. Change and new always brings me some relief and something to look forward to.... New job, new home new friend etc etc.... I do not have any family except my husband. Now at my age I cannot change anything. I am stuck. The only thing that will change is if my husband or I get sicker and die. I am not feeling sorry for myself...it is just the facts. I wish more than anything I could see life through a lens that softened things and got joy when others said they have loving friends, family and children. If someone told me their husband was abusive I would not answer with how wonderful mine was. If someone said their child was in trouble I would not go on about how mine was excelling. That does not make you feel better but make you feel even worse. I know money itself does not bring happiness but it sure gives you options in life and choices....moving to a better area with more to enjoy, travel, paying people to do the hard work you can no longer do without paying the physical price....I just looked up happiness and it said the emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, contentment and fulfillment. I have some of those feelings occasionally.

Rockycoast · ‎03-02-2016

Yes, I am happy in my life, am an optimist also. I have a wonderful husband and kids, family and friends. Enjoy where we live and are comfortable financially. We are enjoying our retirement and all the fun things we can do. Volunteer in our community and are grateful for what we can do and have.

I do not believe at all that what happened when one was growing up or how you were raised is a forgone conclusion to unhappiness. My father was an alcoholic and a mean one at that. I chose to rise above my upbringing and make a better life. It is your choices in life that bring you to where you are.

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

Just to add to the discussion.

"Recent studies have shown that optimism is 50% inherited from our genes, 40% determined by ourselves and the way in which we decide to live our lives and 10% by others (i.e. the environment in which we develop). So, the good news is that we can act individually on our level of optimism by working on that 40%."

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@Jordan2 wrote:
I was just wondering how many here are truly happy? I'm not happy, my life didn't turn out as I thought it might. I do take ownership, I know I'm not living my best life, I'm surviving not thriving. There were times in my life that were better than they are now, I just didn't realize then that was as good as it was going to get.

I found the best way to get out of a funk or overwhelming unhappiness is to help someone else. I've spent time helping with refugees, the poorest of the poor, homeless, and hungry. It totally changed my outlook on life and my own sense of fulfillment and happiness.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@Linmo wrote:
@Jordan2 Did you feel the same way before your mom passed a couple of years ago? I remember that she was your best friend and you were her primary caregiver. Not only did you lose your best friend, but also the activity that kept you busy everyday.
I haven't lost my parents yet, but we did lose DH's parents that I was the primary caregiver for. At the same time, the last of my children left the nest so I didn't feel any purpose for awhile.
For me personally, I find that having a dog or cat gives me purpose and makes me feel happy (most of the time!). If you are not an animal person, then maybe volunteer at a senior facility. There are so many older people who aren't as fortunate as your mom was to have a loved one in their life. I wish the best for you!

I'm the OP, I appreciate all the comments, I don't want anyone to pity me or feel sorry for me, that's not my intention. I just thought this was a thought provoking topic, I really wanted to know how others felt. @Linmo my mother died 1/31/2020 right before the country pretty much closed down because of COVID-19. I lived alone pretty much a shut in only going out when I had to ( I also had my cataract surgery postponed by three months and isolated myself for fear of contracting COVID and having to cancel my surgery). While my mother was alive I didn't have to think about if I was happy or not. After she was gone, it was so quiet, being alone with your thoughts isn't always a good thing. I think my unhappiness got worse after she died.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I am a very honest person,so i can say,i am not, too much loss ,i find life difficult, it really effects me, plus depression ,i have had most of my life.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

There are some specific responses I could give to a few of these posts, but I don't want to single anyone out. So I will keep my mouth shut.

I'll just say that I don't think that one can just choose to be happy and so you are. I think that circumstances in one's life help steer you toward happiness or unhappiness. Some short term, some long term. I DO think there are things that can be too much for the human spirit to handle and you really have to work to get through it. Not everyone is wired exactly the same as the next person. No one has a Mary Poppins life every single day.

All of us aren't living in Shangri La and so being happy might take more time and effort.

As for my answer to the OP's question? I am profoundly thankful every day that I have been given another day to live. What a gift it is, even with warts and all. Am I happy at this point in time? No, but I'm working on it. I am a work in progress, just as we all are.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@06greatwife Yes, I remember that performance and her comment. Happiness is ephemeral, I am seeking peace....being at peace during the trials that are inevitable in life. Our actions, words, and thinking create our lives. Being proactive and creating/practicing strategies that ensure our peace are essential. Yes, there will challenges that seem insurmountable...life-threatening disease, debilitating pain, natural disasters...the unthinkable becomes a reality. We still have the power to choose how we react. The tools that I practice daily and the fact that I live in peace and harmony with natural laws, has prepared me for the worse, which some people might declare has already happened. I choose my perspective on life.

@Jordan2 Your unhappiness can be transformed. All of us make mistakes and, at times, choose the road that threatens remorse later in life or unexpected turn of events occur. All of the baggage we acquire throughout our lives can be used as lessons learned and often gives us the gift of understanding and compassion for others. Or, we can choose to continue to carry the weight of the baggage. You can untie that bag and examine and accept the lessons learn. ....wish we could talk without the constraints of a board. So many tools exist to help us work through this process. Wishing you much peace in your life.