Are They Expecting Cash? Wedding Couple another Re... - Page 4

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

@ahoymate wrote:
To want or expect gifts when you are on your 2nd or 3rd marriage and are in your 60's is wildly inappropriate.

Ding ding ding!!!! We have a winner. I agree completely. And a “big do” for the wedding? Spare me.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

wildlifewitch · ‎02-08-2016

@Mindy D If your husband is besties with the groom have just ask him what they want. You're not telepaths.

50Mickey · ‎05-21-2010

People in thier 60's on a second and third marriage making a big deal of a wedding is

inappropriate to say the least. To expect gifts is nothing short of tacky. A card and a donation in their name to a charity would be all that I would offer. Or if they imbibe a nice bottle of wine. They most likely do not need or want any more dodads.

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

i do not believe the couple has actually sent out invitations yet. i would hope with their age and previous marriage status, it has "no gifts" on the invites.

i'm sure though that even if it does, most will chime in about arriving with a gift anyway.

personally this drives me bonkers. if the invite states no gifts (which we don't know yet) why does everyone want to ignore this request, and bring one anyway.

this aspect has been discussed multiple times on here.

K9buddy · ‎03-09-2010

Did you receive the invitation yet? If you did and they didn’t say no gifts, I’d get a nice bottle of wine or a gift card to a restaurant.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

@Janey2 wrote:
If they did not want gifts it would be on the invitation. I do not go to any party without a gift. I also would not give a gift based on how much money they have or do not have, If they enjoy wine a wine of the month club type gift might be appropriate. An overnight stay at a spa might be appreciated. It all depends on how much you are willing to spend. I hate donations as a gift.

@Janey2

i also do not like to give donations as a gift, unless specifically requested or mentioned.

i think if i give a cash gift they can then choose to use it towards their favorite charity.....and it can be mentioned in a thank you card......if they so choose.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

Just ask them, or him, if they want gifts. I am sure there are others in their circle of friends who are wondering also. Ask the question and say a group of us are wondering what we are to do about gifting, are you expecting items, cash, or maybe nothing since you seem to have what you need.

I know it sounds tacky, and maybe it is, but it is a honest question and should have been addressed by the couple. Since they did not address the issue then it could be assumed they are not expecting anything.

If in doubt maybe buy an American Express gift card and if your husband sees that gifts are not being accepted, use the card for yourself, or bring cash in a card and do the same, or just give nothing

If you are close friends there should be no problem when discussing matters and a friend would not be insulted by the question, and will take it for what it is and nothing more.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Make a donation to a charity in their honor, if you know ow of one they support, that would be the best. You can also hire an artist to draw a picture of their new house and have it framed. There are lots of artists who do this; you can google in your area or rbwhere the new house is located. Why are not attending?

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

Maybe something engraved? I would not go overboard.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Last July my widowed 67 year old cousin married a widower around her same age. They had a really, really nice church wedding and a reception at a local hotel.

They sent out formal invitations and in the envelope was a small piece of paper with a hand written not saying " no gifts, please."

According to the good manners book, it is in bad taste to mention anything about gifts with a wedding invitation. So, even a mention of " no gifts" is considered to be bad manners.

I would wait for the invite to come out. If there is no mention of no gifts and they do not bring up the issue in person, I would buy them something small, personal and memorable...silver picture frame, monogram sheets, towels or wine glasses.